The Millfill blog

Changes

2010-01-26T21:03:00.000-08:00

So, I had to shave off my beard for my new job this week. I am sad to see it go - I actually assumed I would just have it for the duration, until it went gray and I ended up looking like a douche James Brolin. Better yet, an asshole Kris Kristofferson. I started the beard around the same time as the Ron Artest Melee - I have really had it that long.

I knew I would have to have some fun when shaving it off, so here is the debacle in pictures:

I didn't trim the beard for about a month or so beforehand, because this was the last hurrah! I wanted to see how long it could get, see if I would qualify to be a member of the Fleet Foxes or anything.

Here was the first trim - mutton chops and a goatee. Not too drastically different, but a little tool-like.

Here is what I would look like with just a goatee. Not too bad, but nothing special.

Es muy bueno. Fantastic stuff. I had this for a while before I decided to get rid of it. Just an A+ though. I don't know how anyone took me seriously. (Yes, I did cut my neck shaving!)

Thank you to the Sanchezes for the hot water and the sink. Sorry I did this though.

The final product. I went from a 33 year old hippie to a 20-something corporate tool in just a few hours. I will be getting carded a whole lot more now.

I miss the beard.

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Here is an update on Carrie - she really has gotten a little bigger since the holidays:
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I am ready for work tomorrow!

Please note how we need a new camera.
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One more random photo here - taken the day we found out that we were having a Maisy and not a Stephen:

Note the awesome beard. Man I miss that thing!

2009: Songs of the Year

2010-01-18T19:50:00.001-08:00

Yes, this is belated, and it is my New Years resolution to use social media more. So here is my list of 2009 songs that I liked that no one else probably will. Note: some of these are off 2008 albums, but I will defend them being on my 2009 list when necessary.

Here are the top twenty five:

25. Chairlift - Bruises - This is a song from a commercial for iPod or something, but I kind of like it, and I have a crush on the lead singer chick. Also, they are from Brooklyn, as are a surprising number of bands on this list.
24. Bat For Lashes - Daniel - Just now getting into this song. Pretty good stuff, and I felt like I should include it.
23. MGMT - Kids - OK, the video starts off weird, so just fast forward. But then the video itself is disturbing somewhat, so just know that recently they auctioned off the monster props for this video. I think one of the kids in this group went to White Station.
22. Matt & Kim - Lessons Learned - Also known as the video where they get nekkid in Times Square. It is pretty harmless watered down punk, but it is fun. Also from Brooklyn.
21. Vampire Weekend - Cousins - I just recently had to come to terms with the fact that I like Vampire Weekend. It seems like I would hate them if I met them in person, but I like the music. Just the opposite of the Groban.
20. Mastodon - Divinations - These guys are metal but they just kick ass. Drew Magary loves these guys too, and so does Pitchfork. We are all in agreement.
19. Silversun Pickups - There's No Secrets This Year - I haven't made my way through this album like I have with Carnavas, but this was one that I listened to a lot this year.
18. Matt & Kim - Daylight - These guys again. I want to be couple friends with them.
17. The Sounds - No One Sleeps While I'm Awake - I am surprised this song wasn't bigger. Hot lead singer chick, very catchy pop song.
16. Chromeo - Night By Night - Good God I love this song. Feels like disco. I have loved these guys since I heard their song about washing your hands on Yo Gabba Gabba.
15. Silversun Pickups - Panic Switch - The best song off the album for me so far. The Lazy Eye of this album. But then again, over time, Lazy Eye wasn't my favorite off the last album anymore, so who knows how I will feel about the rest of the album when I really get into it.
14. Muse - Uprising - Someone on a message board once put "If it's not Muse it's crap!" I do like Muse and this song kicks ass, but the rest of the album is surprisingly weak.
13. Fleet Foxes - Your Protector - This was the year we really got into Fleet Foxes, as you will soon figure out. This song was never a single and I didn't listen to it a lot at first, but it is now one of my favorites off an album of a bunch of favorites.
12. Flosstradamus - Big Bills - This song isn't even on an album, just on the Green Label sound website. I love it - again, the chick from Chairlift, and another Brooklyn group.
11. Fleet Foxes - Blue Ridge Mountains - The second song that the Fleet Foxes did on SNL - fell in love right away. This is Carrie's favorite by them.
10. Phoenix - 1901 - Another song from a commercial. I am just starting to get into this CD, but this song was everywhere last year. Good stuff.
9. Noisettes - Never Forget You - One of these songs that Mom would like. Has a 50s/60s feel. We actually played the video for Mom, and the first thing she says is, "what's wrong with her hair?"
8. Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Zero - Just another great song by these guys. Hopefully it is one of the songs on this list that you already know well. Not that I am putting obscure songs on here for the sake of doing so, but there is just so much music available now on the internet. I love reading other people's lists of songs of the year because there is always one or two on there at least that I don't know and end up liking.
7. Mastodon - Oblivion - Seriously, these guys kick ass. Plus, it is metal that is really high quality in terms of the music and not just a bunch of power chords and screaming.
6. Santogold - Lights Out - Another here that is a 2008 song. But I don't care - the video didn't get airplay until this last year, and I just really like Santogold.
5. MGMT - Time To Pretend - Another 2008 song, but it was on 89X's top songs of 2009, so there is my precedent. Just a great song, it really is. Plus, White Station!
4. Animal Collective - My Girls - OK, Pitchfork's song of the year, which everyone made fun of. Hell, they even had it at #9 for the decade! I know it is techno-ish and all, but now that I know I am going to have a girl, the lyrics seem poignant, which seems rare for a dance indie hipster song, but I love it.
3. Company of Thieves - Oscar Wilde - OK, no one has ever heard of this song probably. The rest of the CD is iffy at best, and I don't know if these guys will ever make it. However, this is just a great song, well written. The chick can wail, and is cute in an ugly sort of way. I can't describe it. I have it ranked too high because it is the type of song that would win songwriting competitions. I just really wish the rest of the album was on par with it. Plus, this really is possibly the greatest video of all time.
2. Grizzly Bear - Two Weeks - Really, one of my favorite songs ever. When Grizzly Bear played at Michigan Theater, we went around town looking for them and didn't find them. This song was played on an episode of How I Met Your Mother this year. Another Brooklyn band.
1. Fleet Foxes - Mykonos - Every once in a while, you hear a song that you remember where you were the first time you heard it. This was of course the first song they did on SNL, and I just remember being speechless. Just a moment of thinking, I liked these guys already but this might be one of the best songs I have ever heard. It is emotional, moving, eerily beautiful. The things that these guys do with their voices and harmonies reminds me of the Beach Boys almost - like their voices are a string section playing together perfectly. I can't describe it obviously. This makes my short list of favorite songs ever.

There it is. I sure put off writing this for some reason! Probably the new job and the wife being pregnant and all. 2009 was a suck ass year for me, but the music was pretty solid. I hope the music is just as awesome in 2010, but I hope the rest of it all goes a little better!

New Ultrasound Pic

2010-01-07T15:14:00.001-08:00

OK, so, there have been better pictures posted online before, but this is an ultrasound pic that has been scanned into a PDF and then converted into an image, so it isn't pristine or anything.

You can see the baby's head on the left, with her body going off to the right. Pretty self explanatory.

However, if you zoom in a little on the picture, then look just slightly up and to the right from center, and so help me there is a face! It is kind of creepy. Carrie thinks it looks like John Kerry. I think it is just the evil monster that was living in Carrie's uterus to begin with. We are both right.

My Belly!

2009-11-02T23:36:00.001-08:00

Wow! According to Hillary I still haven't "popped" yet. Yikes! How big is this thing gonna get?

Ultrasound Part 2

2009-10-19T14:50:00.000-07:00

Here is the newest batch of photos. The first one is remarkably clear, and the third one kind of looks like a goldfish, but that is the heartbeat in that photo. There is a fourth pic that got cut off, but it is blurry and looks like a teddy bear.

We have both been sick recently, but we have been monitoring the situation in case Carrie gets a fever. Carrie recently gave in to her craving and got some Taco Bell, which didn't stay down long. So we probably won't be making any more runs for the border any time soon. (Thank God! That stuff is just Alpo anyway.)

12 weeks today!

Introducing....

2009-10-08T09:33:00.000-07:00

Finally the Finale

2009-05-19T20:51:00.000-07:00

I love this stuff. I am on my feet clapping for the final two. The kids beg me to stop. Their teenage years are going to be a lot of fun for me. (bwahahahaa) We will be alternating between the TiVo of this and the Wings game. Priorities!

Good vs. evil, cute vs. ugly, guy next door vs. gay next door. We actually had a debate about Lambert's ugliness - I guess I think he is uglier than Carrie does. But yes, I want Kris to win pretty badly. Oh wait, he said "guyliner." Much worse, I think. Nothing wrong with being gay, but guyliner is just embarrassing. This is guyliner - Richard Alpert is just made that way. (Seriously though, every time they show Adam's total jock dad, we immediately blurt out "I love my dead gay son!" It's just a reflex at this point.") This is the first time in Idol history that my very favorite is going against my very least favorite in the finals. It's fun! My favorite is apparently dating Anoop now - good job Anoop.

Lambert- I think he's too theatrical. He bugs me. That said, this was my favorite of his crappy performances. We actually agree - not as much high pitched shreiking. Connor says, "It looks like he's walking on clouds!" Chloe says, "He's not yelling! He always yells!" Ha! Randy - wow, did he steal that outfit off a homeless guy? Is Randy colorblind? Did Scott personally choose this ensemble? Also, somewhere in the AI crowd, a 95 year old Anthony Hopkins is there applauding. What a weird celebrity sighting. Simon agrees with the theatrical. FINALLY. Chip has been waiting for him to say that all year!

Kris- Adorable, perfect, comfortable, smooth, fantastic. Plus, his face looks like that. Love him! Simon calls round one for Kris. Alright! You know, someone sings this song every season. Kris did a really great job, but I was pretty bored during the performance. Also, on my thoery of judges' bias - Randy says, I hope the Lakers win tonight, and you did a good job. Later in the show, Paula will call Adam "iconic". As for Kris? Good luck to Kobe and the Lakers. Just a bang up job by the judges this season. Really, on Thursday, Mary Murphy's blood curdling screams will seem like sagelike advice compared to Randy, Kara, and Paula.

Lambert- Change is Gonna Come. Uh, okay. No kidding. Will Kris be performing Strange Fruit? This is such an important song and so meaningful, the fact that they are having Lambert perform in his over the top, Broadway style is a disgrace to the song. This offends me much more than hard core pornography. Still - one of the greatest songs ever, of course they chose it for Lambert. What does Kris get, We Built This City on Rock and Roll? This suit is my favorite look of his all season, for what it's worth. I'm still not voting for him though. So what's left to say at this point? I love one and hate the other. Let's talk about Randy- this is his best outfit of the season too! Yes, if that is meant ironically! (We talked on the phone - we are really differing on Randy's suit tonight!) Kara says that she liked his interpretation, that you could feel the song - yeah, I got really angry about racial discord from Lambert tonight. Just some great commentary Kara. This is the song Rosa Parks listened to after MLK was assassinated, btw. I know that Lambert is just performing what they are making him perform with this song, so this commentary is more on the show than Lambert, even though I still don't like him. Oh wait, Lambert just started in with the yelling and the tongue, so I feel I need to comment on that. My comment is, Yuck. Put your tongue back in your mouth, and sing rather than shriek. Thanks. OK - we figured it out - Adam just performs, but he has no connection with the song. Carrie said that this is the first time ever that this song did not make her teary eyed. To me, it seems like he is an actor performing a song in a musical, not a singer singing a song at a concert. His disconnect is disconcerting, but at the same time, he would do great in Vegas.

Kris- Pride of Arkansas. . . I'm giving that one to Bill Clinton. But Kris can be second. What's Going On is a perfect choice for his style. Another song that could be on his album. Still though - a weak companion to Lambert's song. And another song that is important historically. Simon Fuller must be a total hippie. Also, I'm not sure I've mentioned this, but Kris is ADORABLE. That crooked mouth thing he's got going is just precious. Loved it. He was good and all, but totally at a disadvantage. He needed a showstopper type of song like Adam got, but he got one that sounded like something that some douche is playing on the quad with his buddies in an effort to pick up some freshman chicks. Plus, my favorite part of each season is when they give a contestant a song they have to sing, then criticize the song choice. Also, I love that Simon's shirt is unbuttoned to his navel. He is hilarious! The kids were like, What's up with his shirt? At dinner they were trying to impersonate his accent. It was awesome. Then I did Phoebe's impersonation of a British accent, a bit that has made Chip laugh consistently for like ten years now. Simon is right - give this round to Adam, but this is no fault of either contestant. The song choices were slanted. Have I mentioned that? Dear Simon: I would love to have Kris in my bedroom strumming along. What is the problem? Oh wait, I see what he's saying.

Lambert- He's going to sing the crappy single like he does, then Kris will sing it like he does, then it's up to us to vote for substance over style. I just hope this song doesn't mention unicorns and rainbows like Cook's coronation song did. Randy says, "You could sing the phone book! That wasn't the best though." BANG UP JOB by the judges tonight. Choice quotes from Chip: "This gives me a headache," and "That was a mess." Agreed. Also, Kara? Buh bye. Simon- Mountains and hurricanes- what? Oooh snap, Kara! But still- no magic rainbows. Next year's song needs to mention leprechauns. Yeah, not much to add here, except for the fact that 8 seasons in and the only winning song I remember is A Moment Like This. I am hoping for Adam to fail, but nothing personal against him, I just need to feel vindicated in the way I feel about him for some reason.

Kris- He just seems uncomfortable at first, and he misses some lyrics. Starts too low because he doesn't have Adam's range. But I don't care, because at least this doesn't give me a headache. It still doesn't make me happy. Also, DAMN Kris - good job on the wife selection! Too bad she is probably all Baptist and puts out once or twice a month. But if Kris wins, I'll smile when I flip past this on FM100. The judges are going to rip this- by far the pitchiest performance of Kris's career. He must hate singing this crap. You know, the few times that he was actually singing the song, he sang it better than Lambert and certainly connected with it better. Chip says, that was a mess too. That song is just a mess! Aw, Simon was sweet to him. And he smiled adorably! He's so cute!

It's 8:40 and I can't get through on the voting lines. I'll keep trying, though! I tried too! Tangent here - they get 3 numbers to call. How do you think the votes fall for each number? Lambert is 01, 03, and 05. Do you think they fall roughly 1/3 for each number? Does 01 get 40% and the other 2 lines get 30% each? Do you think more people call 05, thinking that they will have a better shot, or do they call 03 for the same reason? Do you think 01 is called most because it is first? I feel these are legitimate questions - when a proposal is on the ballot, more people will vote Yes than No, without fully understanding what they are voting for. This is why the wording is so important - also possibly the reason why gay marriage was defeated in California. If someone has an answer about the 01, 03, and 05 question, let me know! Until next season- Chockley out!

The Anniversary Song

2009-05-15T22:11:00.000-07:00

Have you ever seen a sight as beautiful
as that of the rain-soaked purple
of the white birch in spring?

Have you ever felt more fresh or wonderful
than on a warm fall night
under a Mackerel sky,
the smell of grapes on the wind?

Well I have known all these things
and the joys that they can bring
And I'll share them all for a cup of coffee
and to wear your ring

Have you ever had the pleasure of watching
a quiet winter's snow slowly gathering
like simple moments adding up?

Have you ever satisfied a gut feeling
to follow a dry dirt road that's beckoning you
to the heart of a shimmering summer's day?

Well I have known all these things
and the joys that they can bring
And I'll share them all for a cup of coffee
and to wear your ring

And I don't know how I survived those days
before I held your hand
Well I never thought that I would be the one
to admit that the moon and the sun
shine so much more brighter when
seen through two pairs of eyes than
when seen through just one

Have you ever seen a sight as beautiful
as a face in a crowd of people
that lights up just for you?

Have you ever felt more fresh or wonderful
as when you wake
by the side of that boy or girl
who has pledged their love to you?

Well I have known all these things
and the joys that they can bring
And now every morning there's a cup of coffee
and I wear your ring

- The Anniversary Song

More Judges than Contestants

2009-05-12T21:03:00.000-07:00

AI is a sausage fest! Carrie is all, has it ever been three guys before?

Gokey- Wow- TTdH? (Terrance Trent d'Harby?) Nice song choice, Paula! I love this. I would if I knew the song - Paula just picks something that was out when she was still relevant as an artist. I think Gokey did a great job with this song. He knows that dancing and moving on stage isn't his strength, but I worry that he is hiding behind the mic. OK, here he comes. Not too much- it's okay and he sounds great. The judges are horrible. Kara actually criticizes the dancing. She is the judge who is scared the most that Adam won't win. Be objective dude! This is a singing competition! Why are the girls focusing on that? Hey, know who else was horribly awkward on stage? Carrie Underwear. And now she's one of the two or three biggest selling Idol alums ever. Ha! Simon agrees with me that this isn't a dancing competition. Then he takes a shot at SYTYCD. That was weird. And then he and Paula embarrass us all. I am already embarrassed.

Kris- He is so cute I can hardly stand it. This song is not one of my faves, but inexplicably I know it really well. Even Connor says, We know this one! My thoughts on the song can be found in what I said to Carrie - "Hey, I am going to go poop while this is on, but I am going to let it keep playing. Don't pause it." Chip is worried about the falsetto. And Kris just does it the first time around, avoiding it artfully the rest of the time. This is really good, really solid. But most importantly, this sounds like something on the radio today. I actually agree with Randy, which is weird. This is the most contemporary, relevant performance we'll probably get tonight. Chip thinks Kris has a great career ahead of him, and I agree. I find it funny that Kara and Randy are grouped together for this one, and Simon is obviously choosing for the front runner - shows the judges' hierarchy somewhat. Kara is on crack. She is PARANOID that Adam won't win. She will love his next song, regardless of how bad it is. Paula complements Kara with the exact compliment Kara gave her regarding Gokey's song (something about staying in the tone that is best for him). Very original, Paula. She is crazy too. A bad note? I didn't hear it. Simon's t-shirt is covered with Paula's makeup. Klassy. Simon actually calls out Kara, which makes me very happy. Because yeah, don't pick a song for him and criticize him for singing the song. Seriously, what is with the judges tonight? They are horrible. I wanted to like Kara, but she has got to go. This whole dynamic is screwy and they are doing all this mugging for the camera then saying we don't have time for nine songs like we usually do when it's top 3 week. Weak!

Adam- Gag. (I think he has mastered that reflex.) This is horrible-sorry. I mean, each week I give him a chance, then he shrieks that horrible note, flings that tongue around, and generally sounds like Cher doing a cover of a U2 song, and I just can't like him. Carrie - "he sounds like a crying baby." I actually pause it where he has his tongue out - seriously, right now, put your tongue out past your lower lip and try to sing a note. It doesn't help or change anything! It is just creepy! Why are the judges so gaga over him? Kara likes it - wow! No real commentary from her, just some fellation. I'd expect that kind of poor taste out of the American masses, but not Simon- he usually hates this theatrical Broadway crap. Ugh! I hate that he's going to win. BTW - Michigan does NOT love Adam, contrary to that sign.

Carrie Underwear! I just mentioned her! Oh yeah, they totally didn't do the Idol Gives Back this season. Probably with the 4th judge and all or something.

Gokey- Eh. This is okay. His voice is great, but this is putting me to sleep. I thought it was meh, but the judges liked it. I checked my fantasy team while he was on - what is with Jake Peavy this year? I think I might try to trade him.

Kris - Love him! This is AMAZING. Yeah, he takes a terrible song and completely re-does it into something almost palatable. He is the one I want to win, since the best voice in this singing competition left us last week. And Kara, this is why he didn't do this the first time! Duh! He would have been in trouble if he'd done that twice. Chip is blown away. Kris is by far his favorite of this group- I agree, of course. His voice was just flawless. Love him. OK Kara, shut up. He should not have done that both times! So I just tried to vote, and the lines are temporarily busy. Are that many people voting, or are they having problems? I will vote for Kris before this night is over.

Adam- Sigh. Did Ryan just mention Cher? Ha! OK, the "classic" Aerosmith song, Cryin. This is one of their earlier songs, unlike Dream On, which only came out recently. Didn't I make fun of Kara last week for referring to this song in a similarly anachronistic fashion? The back up singer is working for her paycheck tonight- go on girl! This could almost be good, until he starts with the really high notes, which suck. OK, here's the thing. In past seasons, Adam would have really blown away the competition for me. I mean, he is obviously better than Hicks and McFee, Diana Digarmo, etc. However, this season all of the top three are exceptional singers. It's not like the others are duds and he is blowing past them or anything. I can honestly say that of the last three performers, I enjoyed his songs and his voice the least. He's not a bad singer, he is just grating. The other guys have voices that are smoother, and I just prefer their voices. My two cents - I am past the point where I even care. I can't imagine liking Lambert comparative to any other singer I have ever heard. I even prefer this guy. But then again, there is a lot of baggage that goes with each contestant from each season, so I can't say for sure either way. In fact, at the time I think we rooted for Taylor Hicks, but that was before the novelty of voting for the worst wore off. I just feel this year like I don't get the joke. OK, then the judges are like, Please vote for Adam! We like him best! Seriously, I had to go back to read Steph's email to see which one of us wrote that. Simon flat out says, please don't assume that he will be voted in, please vote for him. Whatever- I don't like that.

I guess I'm going to have to text my vote, because I can't get through on my land line and that sucks. And I am going to go watch the Ducks force a game 7. Dammit. Chockley out!

Four Crying Out Loud

2009-05-05T21:17:00.000-07:00

So close to the end! Wow, everything is all jacked up tonight in the Idol studio!

Slash! He's no Buckethead.

Adam- that was yuck. I mean, if you like Adam you will like this. Also, if you like Adam, please try to explain it to me. Randy said it was rock and not Broadway. I disagree. I think it sounded very Broadway, very put on. He was trying way too hard. Kara - way to prove that you shouldn't be kicked off the show - that added nothing. And I don't like Adam's voice. At this point, I feel like it is 2004, Adam is Bush, and the voting public is still very wrong. I must say, this was one of the few times I just fast forwarded through Adam - his act is just boring now.

Allison Hirohito - Ugh, Janis Joplin. Her songs don't have melodies! She sure belted it out, though! Yeah, probably a good choice, but a bad one at the same time. I thought that was fine, but I'm now worried she won't make it until next week. Dude- she is totally about to cry here at the end while talking to Simon. I might throw her a sympathy vote just for that! Bless her heart. He was actually right though - he liked her better than the other judges, who just seem paranoid at this point that someone other than Adam will win. But yes, she should have sung something else. Also, she looked adorable with her pigtails, but tonight she looks like an old lady, even with the pink hair. It's weird.

Kris/Gokey - Our first duet- woo hoo! I like this duets thing - good idea. Plus, I am dorky enough to think when Ryan said there would be 6 songs at the beginning of the show, that every possible pairing of these 4 makes 6 songs, but it didn't work that way. I'm glad they didn't split this pair up- I'm afraid Allison and Lambert would have overpowered these two. Plus now Lambert and Allison can do this song. (Dude - Allison should have done Kiss Me Deadly!) Oooh, Renegade! Is this one of the Styx songs that just became available on RB2? I hope so! I hate to say it - I didn't know this was Styx. I do hate this song. I hate to say this, but I think Kris just got his ass handed to him by Gokey. Although I think they were both pitchy in spots, and that is the first time either of them has ever missed a note this whole season. I thought it was a close call, but I wish they would have done a better duet. (Dude - Gokey and Lambert could have done the whole I'm Growin' Hungry song, and Gokey could have done the Vedder and Lambert could have done the Cornell! That would have worked, even though the guy from Mother Love Bone would have rolled in his grave.)

Kris - And we come right back to Kris. He sure is cute. I hope he does something here. Otherwise I just don't even care who makes it until next week. OK, this is good. I like it. OK - Come Together - it is the Beatles. It is a classic. It is just, if I had to list my favorite Beatles songs in order, this probably wouldn't make the top 250. I think Simon is being too harsh! Dude - Simon gave maybe the best analogy that has ever happened - he says it is like eating ice for lunch! I'm gonna steal that.

Gokey - Tears in Heaven? Yesterday? I Miss You (Blink 182)? Oh, Dream On. I hope Gokey can pull this off. I need something cool to happen tonight. Plus I'm learning to like him. Hearing this on AI just makes me nervous. can he do it? I guess so. Yeah, I mean, I guess. I dunno. I'm sorry, did Kara just refer to Crying and Crazy as "early" Aerosmith? FAIL.

Lambert/Allison - OK, I have high hopes for this duet. It's good. I've heard better, though. I don't know what it is tonight- this show is just not awesome. Maybe my extensive RB2 playing has me biased. Chloe thinks maybe Carry On Wayward Son is what she would have sung tonight. I was think Heartbreaker by Pat Benetar. Or, that would have been good for Allison. I would have done something from Disturbed probably. Let me say - "Rock" week - it is just so broad, so many to choose from. I don't agree with the picks tonight at all - too easy, or too boring. Too much 70s rock - all those 70s rock songs have been overplayed and are just not exciting or interesting anymore. Slow Ride just isn't gonna be something that anyone is excited to hear. Pick something and make it special, don't just sing some crap. Gokey was terrible, but at least I remember him trying for that note at the end.

Only one more week. I hope I can stay awake that long. I'm ready to put this season behind us!

PS - the Wings just TOTALLY got screwed. Why did the ref blow the whistle? The puck was just sitting there uncovered in the crease! We got hosed. By a hoser. Sweet Jesus I hate Chris Pronger and the Ducks.

Five. Five Left. Five Left on AI.

2009-04-28T20:36:00.000-07:00

So just me tonight, since we had a school assembly followed by a flat tire, followed by the fact that we didn't tape the early episode. Carrie can input later in the comments.

Really weird that we're already down to five! Really weird that this is the top 5. This feels like the 2006 NBA Draft. Three weeks left. I was reading in USA Today today that people have spent the whole season thinking Lambert and Gokey would be the final two, but Kris has had a late surge and is messing up that scenario. I'm so glad! I still can't believe Lambert is gonna win. This is so unsatisfying - I want Kris or Allison to win, but if they do win, I'm not gonna do cartwheels or anything.

Rat Pack-era standards- how is this gonna be? Probably boring. They need to bring John Stevens out of retirement for comedic value. At least Ricky and the band will be awesome. Oh Kris, you with your tie a little loose. . .mmmmmm. Nice shot of the makeup artist trying to cover Lambert's horrible skin. Ooof. Ha - Dane Cook is embarrassed by Lambert in HD. Ooooh, Jamie Foxx! Sweet! Yeah, um, for the Rat Pack week, let's pick a comedian turned actor turned singer who actually has no musical prowess at all. Weird weird choice. They should have had him as guest judge on "studio magic voice machine" week. I was just reading someone who said they always think about how ugly he was on In Living Color and then they think, Money sure does make you look good! Heh. Glad it's not just (fly) girls it works that way for. I hate to say this, but I am often horribly annoyed by Jamie Foxx. Always has that "thinks he's too cool but actually isn't" vibe about him. Then again, he still cracks me up from time to time. There is potential for a lot of eye rolling from me tonight, and potential to laugh. I just prefer Jamie Foxx not in front of a crowd - he seems more likeable when he is just being himself and not douching it up.

All Kris has to do to stay in the competition is keep looking like that. Yum. I will preemptively say that Carrie agrees.

Oh hell yes- a SYTYCD commercial! May 21!!! Best reality competition on TV. I can't wait. Yes - easily one of the best 2 reality shows on TV, and my favorite show of the summer. Steph - maybe we should recap that one too!!

Kris - Back to Kris, after than rude commercial break. The Way You Look Tonight tonight! I just made that joke! This song always makes me think of that Friends where Chandler give Monica the mix tape that Janice made him - Monica asks if The Way You Look Tonight is on it, and he is like, sure. (I know Janice actually sings on My Funny Valentine, but that song reminds me more of The Talented Mr. Ripley. Weird.) OMG- did Jamie Foxx just say something about performing the throat Olympics? I will totally perform the throat Olympics. Call me, Kris! Yeah, "Throat Olympics" is in the repertoire now. I'm watching him sing with a goofy grin on my face- my crush on him is embarrassing at this point. Even Chip has to admit it- that was NICE. Yes, very pleasant and boring and all. That's what we call the total package. Kara calls him a "dark horse", which is weird considering he has never been in the bottom 3 and is generally considered in the top 2 at this point. Then again, the judges have Lambert that far ahead. Aaaand, Simon says that performance was wet. I really can't add anything to that. Except that for me, that means it was a successful performance. I'm just saying. I don't know what that was supposed to mean either, except in a naughty way that I am glad you made the joke so I didn't have to! But Simon doesn't think he can win?

Allison - Allison looks really pretty. She sounds good, as always, but I think this isn't her best genre. She needs to rock! But this is solid. I thought she sounded good, and I guess she needed to take things down a notch this week. But yeah, I still fast forwarded. Randy just said a lot of confusing stuff. Brittany Murphy, Pink, no matter what other people say, I think that was good, etc. Whaa? At this point, a comparison to Brittany Murphy is an insult. Kara wants her in the finals- thank you, Kara. Paula has been waiting on her to sing a ballad. Since when, the last time she did one? This is like her third ballad, off the top of my head. I hate that my top two have already sung- we still have more than halfway to go! Simon - twice now has said something to the effect that he doesn't know if the contestant can win. I know he is trying to say that they should do better and all, but it seems like he is also asking them, why are they even trying? He just comes across as an asshole, when he is really trying to make a constructive comment.

Let's talk about the judges. Randy is wearing some kind of bead necklace that looks like a 10-yr-old made it. Last week it was a rainbow necklace, I swear! Kara looks beautiful, love that color. Paula almost looks awesome, but that dress is just a bit off. I think if there was only on thingy on the chest rather than one on each side, that might work. And Simon is rocking the black t-shirt, of course.

Matty G- did we have to give him an excuse to wear that hat? When I saw that hat again, this happened. Seriously though, he's cute. Dude - he finally says that he went to WMU! I KNEW IT! I was just joking the whole time, but it is just one of those things - the connection between that city and university is greater than Memphis and the University of Memphis, and greater than Ypsi and EMU. Last Wednesday, he was definitely the best dancer in the awesome, AWESOME Paula-choreographed dance number last week. Western! Jamie Foxx had actual advice there- interesting. Yeah, I am actually not bothered by him so far tonight! Let's see. Chip says he didn't change the key. I'm trying to take this seriously, but I'm afraid Janice ruined this song for me. I love you Chandler Bing!

(OK - when AI happens, I usually watch with Carrie and take notes, then go blog with Steph's email. Tonight, I just came in here after each singer instead of watching the whole thing, just so it would be fresher in my mind. The point is, I NEVER read Steph's entire email before I start writing. I say this because this is the third or fourth time now we have made the same specific joke, and I want to defend myself that I am not cheating about this. We really separately made the Friends reference - neither of us knew that the other would make that joke. I know this is an easier reference here than our random Cure joke a few weeks back, but whatever. Back to the show.)

This is good. Everyone is on point this week. Oh, Jamie Foxx wanted him to hold the last note but instead he did the throat Olympics. Sounded good, though. Also when I watch the show alone, I can fast forward through performances - like I did here! Oh, crowd, don't bitch at Randy- it was in fact pitchy in some spots. I can't stand his hat tonight - it really looks like he came in out of the rain for some reason. Like, the suit says "respectable guy", the hat says "homeless in the 1930s". You know, if you assume that Gokey and Lambert are going to make it no matter what, then I guess Matt is my pick to go home. Although obviously I want it to be Gokey or Lambert. Wouldn't it be awesome if the final three were Kris, Allison and Matt? Sigh.

Gokey. You know, they have performed in the order I like them. In case I hadn't made my preferences clear. Wow - you are exactly right! That is interesting. Gokey really does look better with the glasses. I was thinking the opposite - he looks like Robert Downey Jr in an almost uncanny way without the glasses though. He doesn't rock the contacts like Mom does! Congrats on ditching the specs, Ma. I'm glad the contacts are working for you. You'll get used to them, I promise. Back to Gokey- he was smart to put a little bluesy thing on this- that is where his voice is strong. It started kind of boring, but all of a sudden this is really good! He's moving on stage, but it's not horribly awkward, plus he's singing his ass off. Well done, dude. The last half of that song was great. Yeah - I listened to the whole thing for the first time tonight, which isn't saying much, but I did think he was good. Paula said she was going to keep this short, then stuttered over her short answer, then said a bunch of stuff anyway. I hate it, but I kind of agree with Simon here- that was a more memorable performance than the first three. I still liked Kris better, because he's smooth. Plus his face.

A-Lamb - Aaaah, Lambert. The spawn of the devil. Not really, the spawn of the devil rocks. In the "mentor session" they show him screaming and sticking out his tongue. Ugh. Here we go- I feel like I'm watching a Queen concert, only without a vocal as good as Freddie Mercury's. I get the feeling Adam has played the emcee in a performance or two of Cabaret. Who's with me here? I linked to a video of him at a cabaret last week! I hope he falls down those stairs... Oh, this is horrible. Sounds like a lounge act, but not in a fun Rat Pack way. Oh seriously, his win will be worse than Taylor Hicks'. Worse than American Beauty! Not as bad as Crash, but still pretty bad. Kara just said he was sleazy. Hee! Kara also said that her mouth drops open every week when he sings - YES! We have made that joke about the judges numerous times with Adam Lambert! Randy says it was a "little theatrical" - no shit. Simon even makes fun of that. Of course, when they have said that in the past, it has been a put down every single time until now.

And ironically, Taylor Hicks is performing tomorrow. Suck on that, Mr. President! (Of course Fox isn't showing his news conference. Whatever! Supermajority, bitches!)

AI Seven Redux

2009-04-21T20:12:00.000-07:00

So, we get the top 7 again, and again Matt G and Lil will be in the bottom and will go home. Ryan says there is an unprecedented amount of pressure. Because each week has more pressure than the last? Then he can say that every week, right?

I like Anoop's scruff.

Getting right to it! No packages tonight - swish! This could be awesome- if Lil can't do I'm Every Woman, then she needs to go home. Let me rock you, Chaka Kahn, it's all I wanna do. Chip: "Damn- that booty be poppin." True- you can see every stitch of her thong in that outfit. I can't help but sing when she asks me to. I'm every woman! She finally picked the right song for her. Carrie says, yeah she maybe isn't the best like we thought she was. It just wasn't awesome. Although I imagine I'll be able to say that about everyone, because this season sucks.

So yes, Randy and Kara usually say the same thing. Paula says that Lil had no voice yesterday, as if that changes the fact that the performance was underwhelming. Is that Vince Neil? I think the little street cred that was left after The Surreal Life is now gone after appearing in the AI crowd without a teenaged daughter or something. There should only be three judges. I read in USA Today today that the producers considered every possibility for last week, including my choice, which was Simon and an alternating judge for each performance. That would have ruled- he's the only one we care about. And he's right- this is probably it for Lil. Too little, too late. I love that they always ask her to talk back. Memphis. Yes. Allow me to say, Kara looks really hot tonight. But yeah, seeing closeups of Lil's face was rough just then. They have destroyed her will to perform right now, and I just hope she goes home so I don't have to watch the judges judge her anymore.

Kris - Cutie Patootie has an acoustic guitar. Rule. Ooooh, She Works Hard For the Money. I don't think this is a disco song. Chip predicts a David Cook-esque performance. I don't know- would they put him second? He's already cuter than everyone else! He sounds very contemporary. Ricky Minor is winning this round. Yes sir! Except that we love Kris, and we loved that. His vocals are flawless, his arrangement was original- we LOVED it. Yeah, that was better than expected - good job, my new favorite! I dare the judges to be asses. I will cut them all out of my will. OK yes, that could go on his record. Did Paula just say that? I didn't really get it at first either. What a weird thing to say. Simon: threadbare white t-shirt. Even Chip, who wears undershirts too often, wouldn't wear one that is see-through. All this talk about Kris's underwear, I have to say- I don't care what kind it is, it would look great on my floor. Hey-O! That was Chip's favorite performance of the season. He's right- this season sucks. That was the high.

Danny- I'm going to dance- be back in a bit. Dude, I love this song. Good job Gokey! Carrie says, is this song about losing someone?! She wasn't being facetious, she was asking honestly. Vince Neil liked it! But let me say- that was AWESOME! The only Gokey performance I've ever loved! Know why? Not about his dead wife! (Seriously, if I see on the internet that his anniversary is in September, I will be PISSED.) (Seriously for me, I checked the lyrics online to see if the song really mentions September 21, or if that was the date his wife died or something.) Yes, Kara, his pitch was great. It actually is every week, he just combines it with boring and maudlin so I hate it. That, though, I loved. My first time. Also, though, Simon is right- he is so awkward on stage! The other reason I loved it was because I was dancing rather than watching. Made a big difference- he sounds like less of a douche than he looks, it seems. He gets bonus points for song choice. PS - my song choice for disco week? To just do the guy part on Take a Chance on Me by the Swedish supergroup Abba. But seriously, Tragedy or Nights on Broadway.

Allison- Chip does not think that rubber outfit she's wearing looks comfortable. He's probably right. It's safe, though! Badoom-cha! Dude - I was thinking the same thing, that I wish she was really hot and that she wasn't 16 when wearing that outfit. It is well established that I love Allison. She sounds awesome, this is fun, her hair doesn't look like ass. A win all around! Also- 16. She's sixteen! Jeebus. We said the same thing - 16?! She is our favorite, but barely holding off a surging Kris. Randy and Kara didn't like the arrangement - this show is no longer a singing contest, but now also a contest of how well you can redo songs to fit your style. I do agree- I didn't love that arrangement. She's just such a good singer! She, along with Kris (and probably Gokey) have the best vocal chops. Never pitchy. It just has to do with whether you like the person or not (sorry, Gokey). Paula just said that "the word 'compromise' does not belong in her musical library. Um, sure. Simon loved her! yay! Simon says that was a brilliant performance. Thank God.

Lambert- Whatever, I hate this guy. Carrie - I think I hate him worse because of the judges' reactions. He picks disco night for a ballad? Ugh. My entire notes: "Adam - If I Can't Have You." I left the room because I can't stand to look at him. Seriously, does Clay Aiken have incriminating pictures of Randy and Steve Perry or something? (Even funnier if you have a gay friend named Steve Perry like we do.) Why do they act like Adam is the best by a mile? He screeches! Dude - every single other season, Simon criticizes when something sounds too "cabaret". Which is literally HOW ADAM SINGS!! They also criticize something as too Broadway, which, um, here, but with Adam it is all apparently okay. Randy called Allison "overindulgent" tonight, btw. Just saying. I mean, that was okay, but not better than Kris! That was boring and screechy, plus he looks like that. Horrible. Is he just picking bad songs on a dare just to see what the judges say? To see if he can get them to be like, Just A Swangin' is totally awesome! I felt that! I can't believe you're out here on the front porch in this swang! (OK, I would like Lambert better if he sang that.) But seriously, Play that Funky Music. He already sang it on a week that wasn't disco week. Sweet, at least Simon threw in a gay joke. He's wrong, though- I won't remember it, plus the vocals weren't immaculate. They just were NOT.

Matty G - Stop it with the hat. Seriously, stop it. It is a disgrace to everyone who has died fighting overseas. I mean, it doesn't have anything to do with that, but I got nuthin. Staying Alive. Well, it's what Justin would pick. I'm actually surprised this isn't all in falsetto. Well, he is doing that thing where he has a faux lisp, but it isn't a lisp, it is just a faux "pronouncing your 's's like 'sh's, if that makes sense. Think of how Six says "Gaius". It's good! I know this isn't saying much, but I like it better than Adam. I mean really, I'm trying to understand where the judges are, and I can't. I'd rather a little bit of soul hidden in a karaoke disco performance than the bullshit that was Adam Lambert's craptastic performance. Seriously, he could take a dump on the stage and they would praise it, then tell Lil and Matt that they sucked. OK, Randy, we have to disagree with you about this being a talented group. Although Chip disagrees with me! He thinks maybe they are really talented, it's just that none of them were likeable. I disagree. These people suck ass. But this was really good, relatively. Seriously, Kara has to compare him unfavorably to Lambert? Judging FAIL. OK - here is my biggest gripe of the whole show tonight - Kara says that Matt should have made it sound original like Lambert did - seriously, the most original performance of the night was Kris. Followed by Allison. Lambert did some stuff that I wasn't as familiar with, and it sounded like every other slow song he has done. Matt G was just boring tonight, and he has hit his ceiling in terms of sticking with this show, don't get me wrong. I just hate it when the judges compare someone to Adam, as if he is the basis of all comparison - can't they see that Adam is polarizing and not everyone is willing to get down on their knees for him? Yes, Steph - Judging FAIL indeed!!!

Anoop - Nice with the scruff. I can't believe he grew that in one week. Maybe he just trimmed down his eyebrows and glued them to his face. WTH? I like the scruff, but what is this song? He's singing it really well. And his dimples are adorable. I love this outfit. The suit, with pink sweater and sneakers? Awesome. His best frat boy outfit to date. He ends the song on a bad note, and he totally knows it. So does Randy. Ooof, that note was a little sharp. This is a cute performance and all, but this isn't a winner. He knew he missed that last note! Heh. He and Lil can go home. I'm fine with that. I mean, I'd prefer Adam, but you know. (Just so you know, every week- they show Anoop's parents and Chip says, "Anoop shall COME again!" Really, every week. Also? I laugh every week.) Isn't hee- eeee Pretty in Piiii -iink.

Recaps:
Lil-Itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face. Please vote her off, this is painful to watch.
Kris-Favorite ever this season. Probably the most marketable left.
Fun- Gokey! Moving on after his wife's death! Do you rememba? Da-a-a-ancin in Septemba?
Allison- Rocking! She is Black Cat-level Janet! Even with Kris on my depth chart right now.
Lambert- Oh God, that's worse even in retrospect! Like The Big Bang Theory - I just don't get it despite multiple viewings.
We loved Matt! Good use of the past tense.
Anoop- eh. Last note was much better during dress rehearsal, though! Hi, I'm in Delaware.

One last thought on Adam Lambert's performance - I don't like looking at it. It's creepy, and in bad taste, and it's just offensive to me. It makes me think of the horrible, frigid stage mothers who force their babies into it. It's kitsch. It's the opposite of art. It destroys art. It destroys souls. This is much more offensive to me than hardcore porno.

Chip, after the recap, reiterates his belief that they are all really good technical singers. He just hates all of them except Kris, and that's just a little bit. Really- worst group ever. I would welcome a Sanjaya at this point. Isn't that sad? Damn you, season eight!!!!

AI - Magnificen't Seven

2009-04-14T22:20:00.000-07:00

So, Steph is puking or something, so her comments are abbreviated. Then again, this felt like an abbreviated episode of AI, so whatever. Hope you feel better sis!

The theme tonight is "songs from movies", and Quentin Tarantino is helping. I may have spelled that wrong, I don't care. Dude looks like a caricature of Bob Hope at this point. Plus, Carrie can't get over how weird his body looks, and how poorly he is aging. BTW, Tarintino is hilarious. Whisky Tango Foxtrot, Idol?

My song choice for this week? Someone actually performs it this week. If I lost the drawing for that song and had to pick another? Burn, Nine Inch Nails, Natural Born Killers. I am so badass. (OK, Let's be honest here - it would be I Could Have Danced All Night. Or this.)

Allison - I love her, that was just okay. Carrie doesn't think she is connecting with the music. Whatever - Silvio thought it was good, what else do you need, people?! Also, the thing that is annoying me most this season is the judges' love for Adam and Adam alone, really. Paula, I swear to God, starts off by saying to Allison, "you know I love Adam". Seriously, that is what she said. Then Simon says, "Lil can't win". This is the feedback Allison has been getting. Simon says she was really good this time, and Carrie is like, she has been good this whole time, jackasses, you are just now finally noticing.

Anoop - Anoop was flawless. (Well, except for the jacket.) His best performance ever. This is the second straight lame 90s song played for slow dances at middle schools. Randy is wearing a rainbow necklace - I don't know if this is a subtle show of Adam support or not, but it is weird. But yes, Anoop was great tonight.

Adam - Oh sweet Lord, here we go again. Let me just say, I giggled uncontrollably the whole time. That is all I will say. Carrie thinks he is solely theatrical, that he flips a switch and acts his performance, and has no soul behind anything he sings. I say that it is almost like he is doing a parody of someone else's parody of him. It is unreal and weird. Lambert plays Jack Nicholson in the Broadway version of Easy Rider. Or something. I get it, he's a "star" and owns the stage and all, but he's still just eh for me. Paula is just saying some words, and Simon is openly mocking her. nice! Yes! Rocky Horror. Man I love Simon.

Matt G - I just can't handle those douchy hats, dude. Jasuck Mraz wears that shit, and he is the worst human in human history. The hat is more a device used to introduce a stream of water into the body for medical or hygienic reasons than a hat. Oh Matty- this is a no. Especially after Anoop pwn3d Brian Adams already. Oof - he lost the pitch after his first foray into falsetto- that was rough. Not one of his top 3 performances. Randy - "The thing for me for you is..."

Gokey -needs his glasses. Endless Love. Is this song about your wife dying? I think so! I think it is more about when Stevie Wonder and Scott played tennis a few weeks back. Hey-O! This guy is such a whore. Carrie and I paused before to guess what song he would sing, and we brainstormed songs where someone dies. I said Against All Odds, but then again, I don't know if that is about someone dying or not. Carrie - "Tears in Heaven!" If next week is Bad Pearl Jam Songs That Are 50s Remakes week, he is doing Last Kiss. Easy. Simon can't bear to hear Paula talk tonight. That's hilarious. Also, I hate the fact that he doesn't get to comment after everyone. His is the only opinion I care about. Simon wishes that there was a 47 year old cat lady on the show this week. (Seriously - almost 5 million views, and the clip got posted on Saturday. Made Carrie cry.)

Kris - OK, the show is over, I am totally on board with this kid now, he has picked the best song ever. A song that was on my wedding iPod for crying out loud! Just an awesome song - I didn't hear him because I was singing too. This is the best moment of the show all season.

Another duet being sung by one person. But this song is awesome, is so romantic, and Kris is so gorgeous that I'm sure this will sound great. Seriously, every woman my age is in love with this song. He just won the 35-yr-old almost-cougar vote. I could cry. This is what Gokey wishes he could pull from my cold cold heart. You the MAN, Kris! (Like seriously, I just went to YouTube to watch the real version of Falling Slowly, and I cried AGAIN. That song owns me.)

Lil - The Rose - Carrie thinks Lil has lost weight. She didn't like this performance as much as I did. Lil looks great, but why is she singing an old white lady song? BTW, Lambert should have done this one. Hee! At least Lil gave it an R&B flavor. But still, this isn't good. She is snippy to Simon - especially after his shot at her earlier in the show, I can't blame her. Lil is such a Memphis woman right there, talking back to Simon like that. That sounds like home to me. She just needs someone else to choose her songs. I hope she doesn't go home, but I think it might be near the end for her, and what a disappointment.

That's all I have time to type- must vote for Kris until time runs out. I agree - Kris won the night, and might be my new favorite from that. I am still rooting for the person who isn't Lambert to win it all though.

The 8 Contestants left on American Idol

2009-04-07T20:34:00.001-07:00

Before we get started, here is a rant from Steph about how this season is the suck:

Time to have this discussion: Is this the worst season of American Idol ever? I've read columnists who have stopped short of saying that, but have really hinted at it. Then randomly some guy in my office, who I never talk to about AI, said, "Is this the worst season ever or what? I just don't really like anyone. I don't look forward to anyone in particular." I was like, Yes! I mean, there are things I've liked, but I don't get excited about anything ahead of time. Other than bitching about it, of course. So maybe this is actually the best season ever! Carry on. I can say that this is the worst season, because normally I enjoy hating it - this season, I don't even enjoy that. Part of me enjoys the Sanjayas and the John Stevenses and all - this year, it is like, I would almost be content to just see who get voted off and maybe watch the finale.

A song from the year you were born! I hear the theme while in the other room and shout "Killing Me Softly!" I've looked up 1973 at least eight times now. Other choices include The Joker, Cherry Cherry, You're So Vain, Let Me Be There, Rocky Mountain High, Midnight Train to Georgia, Ramblin Man (I rock that shit on RB2), I Can't Stand the Rain, and my dream 1973 song, D'yer Mak'er. For me, 1976 - let's just say my choice was my favorite song of all time until it was ruined by an SNL skit involving cowbell. Seriously - Don't Fear the Reaper is on Rock Band 2 and I sang it in front of my niece and nephew - I never want to sing such an awesome song about suicide in front of them again. I mean, outside of Rock Band. Allison is going to sing something by Evanescence. God I'm old. I was thinking, when she was born, I was a sophomore at White Station. Sing some PJ!

OMG those pictures are so cute! I can't take it. Baby pictures of our judges- adorable. Dude - the keep showing the creepy bald guy from Fringe in the audience - if no one watches that show, it is a really creepy guy to just keep showing. Maybe it is just to get people talking about the show or something.

Lil looks good tonight. Good.

Starting quickly. . .

Gokey's Old Ass- 1980? Let's look up what would be the perfect song...All Out of Love, Air Supply. More a break up song than a dead wife song, but he could make it work. He starts sharp. Stand By Me. American Idol - are you ready to soft rock? He gets going quickly after the rough start. Very pleasant. Carrie - horrible arrangement. Me - it does actually sound like it is from 1980. Randy is hating on the arrangement- dude, this is the arrangement that allowed him to sing it for his birth year. Mickey Gilley? Sure. Anyway, that's fine.

Cutie Patootie - This is fun and relevant. This is a terrible song to begin with. And makes me feel old. Chip says, "OK, I'll buy that. I mean, I wouldn't actually BUY it, but I buy that arrangement." Heh. What is with the crowd thing - he was born in 1985, not 1968 when Elvis had his comeback special. Hot wife, but gigantic other family member. His figurative and literal biggest fans are side by side. OOoohh, the judges are harsh. I don't think so. Simon is really starting to wear out the whole "indulgent" thing. Totally on his word of the day toilet paper, and he needs to eat more fiber or something so we can get no descriptors. I thought that was a fun arrangement, and thought he was cute. Of course, I would prefer Rasberry Beret from 1985. Or Things Can Only Get Better. In Between Days, The Cure. I don't know if Mormons are aware of the Cure though.

Lil- Born in Memphis- like my kids! And my wifey! Good song choice, Tina Turner. You know, I thought so too until I heard it. Better song choice for Lil - Last Christmas by Wham!, or Alone Again by Dokken, or Darling Nikki. That outfit is flattering. This is best performance in a while. (Although, she could have done You Give Good Love. Or In My House by the Mary Jane Girls!) And the judges are about to rip on her! Kara and Carrie both note that she is weak in a lower register. Crap. Chip thinks she just looks "old" in that Melinda Doolittle way, that she can't come off at young. I feel a little bit like that, that it surprises me that she was born in the mid-80's because she seems my age. Chip agrees with Simon about the "copycat" thing too. I do worry about Lil- she just hasn't ever brought it in the way we assume she can. Now I wonder if she actually can- am I just imagining this, or did she blow us away at one point? Yeah, everyone is saying that she is overrated - I have had my blinders on because of the whole Memphis thing, so maybe she is. She still gets my vote, if I cared enough to vote. Also, I knew "Lil" came from "Lilly"!

Anoop- He sounds great, really. I hate that he died on House last night. My notes - "no surprise suicide from this guy tonight!" Stop stealing my notes woman! 1986- he really should have done Higher Love! Angel of Death, Slayer. Or In Between Days! Woah - holy crap, you just made my In Between Days joke! I swear to everyone that we came up with that independent of each other! Holy crap!! Have I mentioned how old I am? Randy with the Tarheel reference. Randy said, "Congratulations North Carolina, you guys worked it out!" Hee! He only speaks in cliches at this point! Nuke LaLoosh should be taking notes! I've already forgotten that happened last night. I'm too smitten with Josh. You know, after trying to buy into the hype that Michigan is hurting and we all need to root for the Spartans, I was kind of happy to see them lose, even though I hated seeing mouthbreather win it all. Still - I can't stand MSU's smugness about their basketball team and the fact that Michael Moore wears Sparty hats, not UMich hats. Also, AI makes me feel old, but now Memphis' coach is younger than I am.

Scotty Too Hotty - Aw, little baby Scott pictures is going to win him some votes! OK, I was going to look us some 1985 songs for him (Lay It Down, Ratt), but none would be this perfect for Scott. The Search is Over! Carrie - "Oh, it's THIS song! Couples Skate!!!" I'm glad his hair is better this week. This is good for him. I mean, it's pitchy, like you would expect, but still. Nice work using the guitar instead of piano. Oooh no, the big note was so wrong. I love that song, and it was a good choice for Scott, but ultimately he's just not a good singer. Yeah, I do like the Scott, but I think this might be the end. But he is really funny- his "punk" side. Ha! He does have a fun sense of humor. I'd enjoy getting a drink with this guy. Assuming people born in 1985 are old enough to drink. Dude - it is 1988 that people can drink. Which is even scarier.

Allison- 1992. Shoot me in the head. OK, she's singing a song from when Chip and Heather broke up. And she's awesome, of course. OMG- she could have done Baby Got Back! Or Smells Like Teen Spirit. Bitches Ain't Shit, Dr. Dre. Wow. But really, what would have better than Tennessee? I'm kidding. OK - Seriously, I think I know all the words to all of these. She ruled that song. Doesn't matter what she sings, really- she's the best and most consistent. I love her. I am just glad the judges judged her singing this week instead of being asses. Again.

Matty G- Dude - he was born in Dearborn, and at some point his family moved to the Zoo. Or he went to Western and just stayed out there after college. Who lives in the town they moved to for college? Still - born in 1985 (not stillborn in 1985) in Michigan - at some point, he had a big poster of Steve Yzerman on his bedroom wall. His family took him to a Wings game where both Joey Kocur and Bob Probert got into fights. More 1985! Yeah, is this 1985 thing something that Malcolm Gladwell needs to put in his addendum to Outliers? Part-time Lover. Perfect choice. Well, The Goonies Good Enough would have been the perfect choice... This is great, right in his "wheelhouse." Much better doing something a little funky rather than something douchey like The Fray. Hey - we liked him too, but he also dressed like it was 1985, am I right? I think he picked that out at the Neverland garage sale. And they rush through the stupid judges, since they won't have time for Adam otherwise. They love him, briefly. Thank goodness- I can't sit through four judges each time!

Adam- Uh, that's all the time we have, folks. My DVR didn't get that. Wow. I mean, I don't like Adam, but I certainly wanted to see him! Damn. Plus we have a DVR instead of a TiVo, and it sucks and doesn't actually turn to the channel it's recording, so I can't just rewind the current show. Sigh. I'll assume I would have hated it, but that the judges loved it.
Chockley- out!
OK - our TiVo cut off too, but I pay $2 extra a month to get west coast Fox, so I am determined to stay up and watch the late one, because Steph, Chip, and Carrie are all in bed at this point. Especially since I will already be taping Fringe. I never gave up on Pacey's show. Dude - he was in the Ducks movies. He has earned it. Still - you are about to get my recap and mine alone, so I will try to be as honest and thorough as I can be.
Adam Lambert - born in 1982. His dad says that he loved everything...except sports. Adam says that he preferred to play dressup and wear different costumes and all. Nature 1, nurture 0. What song will he be...oh frak, it is that song that I LOVE, that song from the end of Donnie Darko about the dreams in which I am dying are the best I've ever had. Great song. (PS - the other day in the car, we had a discussion where this song came up as possibly the most emo song of all time, up there with Paint it Black and Bela Lugosi's Dead.) So Adam sings this awesome song all gay and chubby and pockmarked (is he the emo ejo?). OK - here I go again - really, his voice is a joke. Male falsetto is NOT difficult at all to sing. I can sound like a frakking opera singer with my falsetto, it doesn't make me a good singer. I actually do an impression of Lambert's "singing" that is so spot on that it can make Carrie ROFL. Seriously here - I actually laughed at the last note that he hits. It wasn't a planned laugh - totally involuntary - it was just that bad. So the judges - Simon is like, "we are short on time, so only I get to speak" - then he gives him a freakin' STANDING O!?!??!?!? It wasn't even a sarcastic slow clapping standing O, but actual serious applause! What am I missing? Not only was it bad, but it was laughably bad!

Then again, I could have just stopped and instead I waited up to see what he did. So there's that. But still - this is like me reading the articles about the recruits that Memphis is losing because of Calipari leaving - I am reading them but not enjoying them. I talk about them, but I get no pleasure from it. With Lambert, I just feel it is comparable to 5 Fast 5 Furious taking the weekend box office - it seems to have so massive appeal to the American populace even though it is crap. So from now on, assuming no DVR mistakes, I will just leave the Lambert discussion up to Steph. I am fascinated by the fact that I don't get it, but I don't know if I care enough anymore to put forth the effort. He will win after getting saved one week. That is my prediction. Enjoy!

American Idol "Top" 9

2009-03-31T20:39:00.000-07:00

This is their moment! This. . . is aMERican Idol!

The judges! Paula's outfit is ridiculous. Kara is perfection. As is Ryan, as always. Is it possible I don't know the theme? I didn't even know after the show was over. Something about downloads? How did I not look that up already? "Down to our top nine." As if that's anything to brag about! That's more than two more months of this crap! Only 2 months until SYTYCD! Aw, Simon thinks Ryan is amazing. They are adorable. In the movie version of their lives, they will be played by Jason Segal and Paul Rudd. Wait, what's that? You don't say! I was going to say that Simon and Paula are totally work husband and work wife, but Simon and Ryan are totally work BFFs. You know, the guy you get along great with at work, but only hang out with once or twice a year outside of work and work related functions.

OK, WTF does Allison have on? Is she really that wide? That is weird looking. Here we go- what is the theme, Ryan! Don't make me go to Google! Any song that's popular on iTunes? What does that even mean? Is this any song that is available for download? Isn't that like any song ever recorded? And also, who cares? They should always get to pick whatever they want! Yeah, I think this is about any song ever, with a sponsor shoutout to iTunes. Enough rope to hang themselves- it's a beautiful gift. To them, and to us. Steph - you sounded like Jacob from TWOP just then!

Anoop! Usher! This is fun already. I secretly love Usher. Why is Anoop wearing Michael Jackson's jacket? I thought maybe he was just dressing like an usher, until I found out that he was singing Usher. Why are the backup singers not as good this year? Why does this performance seem flat? The reason this performance seems flat is because it is actually flat. Is it because there's no choreography? No, because Anoop did this show on a dare and can't get out of it. I guess in my head I see choreography when I hear this song. I think that was good, though- I love Anoop, I loved when he sang My Prerogative. OK, Randy kind of agreed with me, which is weird- the vocals were great, but that song is a miss without the dancing. Kara said something gorgeous. I didn't hear it, I was distracted by her cute freckles. Why are those frat guys booing her? Dude - she was like, your frat brothers are here cheering you on because they dared you to even try out. Also, yes - cute freckles, although sometimes she makes really sour faces. Paula: ". . . blah blah balladeer." Chip: "Oooh, a big word!" Simon actually looks at the judges while Paula is talking and is like, WTF? Simon goes to the "complete and utter mess" card early tonight! He's right, the arrangement wasn't awesome. That headache business was harsh, though. Anoop totally is like, I would just like Kara to know that she can go eat a dick. I say it every week, though- Anoop is so cute! I love him- whatever. I know he wants to be an R&B artist, but how can that happen? I dunno- weird. I've spent too much time on Anoop. So have the judges - odds are, they rush whoever goes last so that they can go to this stupid Ozzy show coming up next.

Megan- Says she is going to do a Bob Marley/Lauren Hill song, which shows that she only knows the latter version and just now found out it was a remake. OMG! I got a text earlier (around 7:15) from Heather that said, "Bob Marley? Really?" I had no idea what she was talking about, but I just suddenly got it. Ha! Megan thinks the judges will feel her this time. I don't know what that means - I have been feeling her this whole time! She is my Stranger! Shannon just made a dirty joke. Yeah. Let me just say - I would not want her voice operating on me - it is shaky enough that it would nick an artery and cause my ears to bleed. Really, I wonder if she is nervous because the judges keep beating her up and she has zero confidence. OK, it's just a shame that she's not a good singer. Her pitch is a disaster. At least she looks the part this week, quirky, cute, etc. But my ears are bleeding. Jinx. It's like my senses are competing- the eyes are happy, but the ears and my nerves are hurting. Chip: "Was that a little 'muppet' at the end?" No, Kenneth, it wasn't. Kara is like, "boobooboo", and I think she forgot the last "b". Oh, and some guy totally just got asked to leave the building. Oooh, "indulgent." Our favorite Simon word! Also, Simon says, "The problem was, is that..." Chip: "With Sarver gone, I can't imagine anyone will be worse than that." Ouch.

Gokey. I pour my second glass of wine. What Hurts the Most (is listening to any song) by Rascal Flatts. I'll assume that's a rhetorical question. I'll take this opportunity to discuss Tropic Thunder, which I saw this week. Hilarious! Robert Downey Jr. was fantastic, then did the audio commentary for the DVD in character. Back to Gokey- he should have done a Michael Bolton song! Sounds just like him. That violin is out of tune, so I'll let that answer the titular question. I'm sure the judges are going to say things, but I just can't care. Wait- they loved it? I guess I can't see past Rascal Flatts. Thank you. I felt so bored by this song that I zoned out and thought about how I prefer sea salt over kosher salt on fresh heirloom tomatoes. He sings well and all, but he is totally Carrie's guy this year. Yeah, Danny's voice is fine. But still. I really have about 2 notes on Gokey - Chicago apparently loves Gokey, according to several signs, and he totally has a fan club up front to pick wife #2 from. (My wife #2 just performed a Bob Marley song, btw.)

Allison- Guitar! Don't Speak! Fun. Oh no- she "grew up" listening to this song. My old ass just cried a little. (PS - my "feeling old" story from the week came from mgoblog.com, where they had a picture of a recruit for next year's class posing in a Michigan helmet when he was 10 - this was from 2002.) I spent my 20's wishing Gwen and Tony would get back together. Then she married the hotness that is Gavin Rossdale. FTW! I saw a picture of their older son on people.com this week, and he is just gorgeous- looks just like dad. The women of the world are in trouble. Anyway, I love Allison. Me too, even though she has the nose of a bulldog. That was awesome, despite how silly she looks tonight. Oh damn, Randy. You didn't have to say it out loud! See, Kara said it better- you're 16, you're trying too hard with the look, but you don't have to. OH SNAP! Maybe I was just the only people who wasn't bothered by the outfit. It really just seems like something she would wear. I am surprised that Randy and Simon were that bothered by it that they commented on it over her singing. They are out to get her - at least Simon didn't draw on Paula instead of offering any actual feedback. Paula just said "axe." Hee! My notes read: "Paula - axe? Who wrote that for her?" I'm voting for Allison. Shut up, Simon. She's precocious because she's 16.

Blindy McGee- I have to say, I totally want to hang out with Scott. He is hilarious. Last week with the whole pink jeans thing, and when he wanted Ryan to give him a high five...he just seems very self aware for someone who we assume isn't as self aware because of the whole blind thing. I would rather go play Snood that actually have to watch his performance, but I like this kid and suddenly want him to do well! Chip wants to know if we can just skip him. Billy Joel! Of course! Oh, he wants to show his heart and emotion. As opposed to other weeks, when he showed us what a hard-core rocker he was. What, do you want him to run around the stage? Sitting at a piano for a piano song is his ceiling! There is a reason why Jeff Healy, Ronnie Millsaps, Stevie Wonder, and Ray Charles all come on The River 104.5 FM. His hair is worse than Allison's, let's say that first. My notes - "did his own hair this week". Secondly, oh man this sucks. Cheesy, off-key, hold up- is that chest hair? Ooof- this is horrible to see and hear. Please, America, stop voting for him just because of you-know-what. Yeah - I like him personally, but it might be time to go. Let Megan Joy stick around for as long as possible so I can file away as many mental images as I can in our limited time together. Paula, "Scott, let me just say, of all the contestants who have graced the stage. . ." you are the blindest. "I am proudest of you." Then she says another music word that was fed to her by a writer who is laughing right now. Paula - domo, arigato, Mr. Legato. (Legato is the opposite of staccato.) Really, next week someone needs to write "San Diego - go fuck yourself" to see if she would say it. Does she have an earpiece where someone is feeding her lines? Legato? Really? Chip points out that there is nothing at all contemporary or relevant about Scott. No producer in the world could make him relevant to today's music scene. Period. President Chip does not like blind people. If Matty G wins, then Scott can take his old job.

Matty G- The Fray. Ugh. Did you know that you can't spell "The Fray sucks infected monkey balls" without T-h-e-F-r-a-y? Think about it. Someone from the iTunes era! Good choice for him, I think. Well, if he wants to sing a suck song by a suck band. Why did he start playing over Ryan? Show some respect, son! That started rough, but then settled down. Cool, playing the keyboard out in the crowd. Chip thinks he's impersonating the guy. I hope not - that band The Fray sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked. I've seen bands suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks who ever sucked. I gotta go - my damn wiener kids are listening. I don't know- they have a similar tone though. I'm voting for Matty. I also want Matt G to do well. Just stop with this bad poppy stuff. They say One Republic, but they are terrible in the same vein as these other guys. I just like that he sang song from the past five years. Come on, people! It wasn't jumpin' off for Chip. Paula is stuttering at this point. Paula knows the lead singer of the Fray's name - someone did that research for her. But she is making a valid point. He does better with runs and JT-ish stuff than he does with Chris Coldplay/Fray/Douchey stuff.

Lil- Oh, is she singing I Surrender? Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is my Idol audition song! Do it Lil, please do it! I love this song way too much. Don't think less of me. OK, because I love this song so much, I know that Lil has missed most of the words. Also, this isn't doing it for me. Maybe she'll pull it out on the big finish, though. Not really. Wow - she really did not do a good job. Carrie shared that same sentiment, but I almost think she was hesitant because we both want her to do well. Kelly Clarkson knocked this song out of the park when she sang it, with the flu, back in season one. Lil did not. Ugh. I'll vote for her just to spite Coach Cal (please don't get me started on that), but I won't feel good about it. Paula's right, again! She shouldn't be adult contemporary, she should be R&B. Why does she always pick the wrong song? Yeah, when the judges started in on song choice again, it was like, ugh. Always! Maybe next week. . .

Robbie Rotten- again! Oh lordy. So did they have iTunes back in 1976? I don't really understand the theme, I think. I was very wrong. I think it was available for download for wedding DJs who like to play shitty music. I was hoping it would lead them to pick out contemporary songs. OK, he is a natural performer. I'll give him that. I can see where this is going to go over big with the crowd and the judges. Seriously? Not me. He sings a shitty joke of a song, and the fact that the judges are standing up and applauding him proves to me that I just don't get it. He is so screechy, annoying with his vocals - at least last week I could maybe see why people wouldn't think it was terrible. This week was laughably bad. If he wasn't a frontrunner, I would think every week that he might be going home. I don't hate him, I just don't get it. It is like Wilco, or Twitter, or Southern Baptist as a religion - I mean, I get that some people can like it, but is that really something to get this excited over? Seriously, they are saving their judges reversal for the week he accidentally gets sent home because his fan base gets lazy. Oh yeah. And it will happen. Except that teenage girls never get lazy on the phones! I want it to be in the finale when they save him. That was good, he's a good singer. Or, it was not good, and he is just a niche singer. I'm not going to vote for him or anything, but I'm not offended like I was with, say, Megan or Scott. I think he has bothered me in other weeks, but the fact that he sang a song that your 48 year old single uncle dances to drunkenly at a wedding made the praise really piss me off this time. Yeah Megan and Scott are objectively worse, but that is a terrible song! Hardly relevant! People would leave the radio on that song if it came on?

Cutie Patootie Kris- He's doing Anal Sunshine? Oh, Ain't No Sunshine. Congrats Kris - the 100th performance of this song on this show! Again, I'm confused about what this song has to do with iTunes. I guess someone downloaded it at some point? Yeah, it is a weird promotional tie in this week for sure. The iTunes week on AI is like when they had to make stuff with Quaker Oats on Top Chef. (Chip is stilllll laughing about the Butthole Surfers joke he just made.) Dude, Kris is on fire! Carrie says that this is a performance she will remember - I agree that it was his best. I like him this week- he might get his first ever Chockley vote! Chip: "He's a sleeper! He's so slick, never misses a note. . ." Yes, and he looks like that. Maybe the teenage girls will vote for him instead of Robbie Rotten! Yep, that was great, I now am on board the Kris train. Chip: "I dunno- I just like him better than Lambert." Exactly. I agree - I want to get excited about someone in this terrible, terrible season of Idol.

To recap- I really liked Kris, Allison and Anoop. For me, I say Kris was good this week, and Allison was also not bad. Megan is an embarrassment. She and Scott are the bottom two. Anything else would be a travishamockery. Let Lambert get the lowest number of votes. Seriously, let him play his immunity idol so the next time counts. I also voted for Matt and Lil out of loyalty, not out of tonight. Gokey is what we thought he was. And Lambert is the wild card. We just don't like him, but his performance was good. I wouldn't say that. We will never vote for him, but we can reluctantly see how he's the front runner. Not even objectively. I just can't see the appeal at all. I try - like when I listen to a song by Jason Mraz, I can see why people would enjoy his non-offensive tripe and all, but with Lambert, I actually see nothing appealing. He is like NASCAR to me - I don't remotely see its appeal, but I don't hate it, I am just really indifferent if not underwhelmed. I am both subjectively and objectively unimpressed. But I got 2 more months until dude's coronation and all, so I guess I gotta get over it, or just ignore it.

And the night is saved by a commercial from this fine establishment. Thank you and good night. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v2MMAbtJcEo

Outfielders

2009-03-26T16:07:00.001-07:00

Outfield is the deepest position - tiers will be difficult, so I'll just break it down by who falls in what round on average.

5. Grady Sizemore - I don't know if I would take him at #5 overall. True, he is a 30/30 guy with 40/40 potential. He will get 100+ runs and RBI. But his EqAVG the last 3 years has not topped .280, and he is projected with an average of only .269 this year. He is a solid first round pick, don't get me wrong - it is just that it would be more of a slam dunk #5 with a higher average.
7. Ryan Braun - Another solid first round pick - 35-40 HR, 100 runs/RBI, 15 SB. The advantage he has over Sizemore is the average, which will be 25-30 points higher.
8. Josh Hamilton - Should come back down to earth this season, and that is not a drug joke. His average will be more in the .280-.200 range, don't expect another 130 RBI, and probably 25-30 HR. I wouldn't pick him over Kinsler/Rollins/Utley/Santana at this point. Then again, I could be proven wrong.

13. BJ Upton - Everyone has Upton in the teens in terms of overall rank, but I wouldn't do it. Could steal over 40 bases, but the 15 HR and .270 average don't make him a second rounder for me. Carl Crawford will be available in the third round if you want that production, but have a better average.
15. Alfonso Soriano - A much better second round pick. 30/20/.280, 100 runs/RBI. Falling to 19 overall in drafts because of his down year last year.
18. Carlos Beltran - Roughly the same as Soriano - His PECOTA projections: 27 HR, 18 SB, .293, 106 runs, 96 RBI. Really, if you want to take him over Soriano at this point, I say do it - Beltran will be on base more but will have a couple fewer HRs and SBs.
22. Carlos Quentin - Really exploded last year. I would be surprised if he could repeat his performance, and personally I would let someone else take that risk. Then again, that person might be rewarded with 35-40 HR late in the second round. PECOTA - 23HR, 77 RBI, 78 runs, .273 average - those are not second round projections. Let's just say - he was the highest ranked player not kept in my keeper league.

25. Carlos Lee - I am hoping he returns to form after his injury last year and posts another 30 HR 100 RBI .300 season. If he keeps the pace he had last year over the whole season, he is a second round pick next season. His age is somewhat of a concern though in terms of keeper leagues.
27. Carl Crawford - PECOTA is not keen on Crawford this year - 10 HR, 30 SB, .276 average. I think he will kill those projections though - a good third round pick, but I am not chomping at the bit to draft him there at the same time.
28. Manny Ramirez - Do it. Second round. He was the #3 overall guy last season. He is awesome - ignore the off the field stuff and draft him. He is being drafted ahead of the last 3 guys on average. 30+HR, 100+ RBI, .300 average. Boston thinks he was a "cancer" - let's compare: since 1918, with Manny, 2 World Series crowns; without Manny, 0 World Series crowns.
30. Jason Bay - Manny's "replacement" in Boston. He is just like Manny, minus about 25-30 points of average, 5-10 HR fewer, 10-20 fewer RBIs, and about 70 points off the OPS. So basically the same guy. I wouldn't spend a third rounder on him.
31. Vlad Guerrero - He is apparently a year older than we thought. Should be around .300, 20-25 HR, 80 runs, 100 RBI. No longer a threat on the basepaths. Third round is too high for Vlad too - I wouldn't.
33. Ichiro - Did you know he is 35 years old? I don't think he is a viable fantasy option anymore, mainly because of where he is ranked and where he is being drafted. Only hit .310 last year (I say "only" because we are used to like .350 with this guy), and he is only projected to steal 20 bases. Little to no power. Let the guy who is autodrafting get this guy in your draft.
34. Nick Markakis - Wow - the third round is really full of OFs that I wouldn't draft. 20 HR, 10 SB, .286 average, 96 runs 89 RBI - again, not a third rounder for me.
35. Matt Holliday - Will not play half his games in Colorado this year, but will be playing for a contract. If he can get his PECOTA projections, he is a steal, but they are based on him playing in Colorado. Should hit for a high average, 30 HR 100 runs/RBI. This is a third round outfielder for sure.
36. Matt Kemp - are we still in the third round range? Kemp has suggested he could go 40/40 at some point, and is a great keeper. Leagues just for this year though - 20 HR, 30 RBI, and a .290 average are more likely. A great third round OF again. Of the 9 OFs listed in the 25-36 range, I would rank: Manny, Lee, Holliday, Bay, Kemp, Crawford, Vlad, Markakis, Ichiro.

42. Curtis Granderson - You should like Curtis as a person - great guy, hard worker, etc. As a fantasy player, expect .275, 20/20. If he shows more patience at the plate, he could get to 100 runs. Solid, but I think 4th round might be iffy for me. If he slips to the 5th round, do it.
43. Alex Rios - .275, 20/20 guy. This is why he is ranked the same as Curtis.
47. Shane Victorino - .290, 15 HR, 30 SB. I would draft him before the last 2 guys.

51. Jacoby Ellsbury - .290, 40-50 SB. Will carry you in steals, help in average and runs. But 10 HR is a stretch, so the RBIs will be only around 50 or so. If you draft him, you need to grab a power guy to balance him out. If you do, you will be set.
53. Alexei Ramirez - Draft him as a middle infielder, not as an OF.
55. Nate McLouth - 20/20, .285. Good pickup here in the 5th round. My strategy is to grab 20/20 guys, and the Hardball Times just had an article saying McLouth is for real.
56. Corey Hart - More of a 25/25 guy, .290 average to boot. I like him over the last 6 guys, actually. If the 5th round sees you without an OF (which is a good strategy, btw), Hart is the guy I would want.

61. Hunter Pence - 25/10, .285 average. Solid for what you can get out of an OF at this point of the draft.
62. Magglio Ordonez - Stay away. I love the Tigers, but he is high risk, 35 years old, 20 HR .300 average.
66. Adam Dunn - I love Dunn in 5x5 leagues. He will carry you in HR. The guy to grab if you got Ellsbury in the last round. I would expect more of a .250 average instead of a .230 average, but 40 HR 100 RBI are par for the course with Dunn.

76. Jermaine Dye - 25 HR, .270 average, no speed, not a lot of runs. 7th round - look elsewhere.
78. Jay Bruce - .280, 30 HR, double digit SB - great 7th round pick. You can even target this guy and pick him up in the 6th if you want.
83. Ryan Ludwick - will not be available in the 7th round. His numbers last year were stupid. Even though he hit .299 last year, PECOTA has him at .264(!). He won't go 104/37/113 again this year.
84. Vernon Wells - Don't do it. Average is too low, won't get 20 HR or 10 SB this year.

94. Bobby Abreu - Don't do it. More like a 150 pick than the #94 guy, and is overrated because of his name. I don't see him putting up 100/20/100/20/.300 again. Another 35 year old - his numbers are on the decline.

102. Lastings Milledge - Slipping in drafts, but will give you what Abreu does, and has a higher ceiling. If you are a fan, wait until the 10th/11th round if you want.

113. Torii Hunter - A perrenial 20/20 guy, may not get there this year. I would stay away, but someone will draft him before you have time to even debate it.
115. Chris Young - 25/20 guy, and if he gets his average up, he is a better pick than the last 4 guys. Tons of potential, only 25 years old.
116. Johnny Damon - Don't do it. Can score 100 runs because of the lineup he is in, but when he has 6 HR and 9 SB at the all star break, you will be wondering why you didn't draft Xavier Nady, who will share the Yankee outfield with him.

122. Raul Ibanez - His guitar has 7 strings! OK, follow me here - he will be overrated because of his history as an underrated fantasy player. His correct ranking this year is more like where he used to be rated when he was underrated. 20 HR, .275 average. Nothing special.
124. Nelson Cruz - By definition, a AAAA player. Meaning, he is awesome in the minors, then kinda so-so in the majors. Projected for 25 HR, 14 SB, 73 runs, 83 RBI, but only a .260 average. I would stay away, but I don't fault you if you draft him.
128. Jayson Werth - Injury risk, not a ton of reward. Stay away.
129. Justin Upton - I would do it in the 13th round here. Actually slipping to the 14th/15th range. 20/10 guy, .280 average. The league where I drafted him, he is my 4th outfielder, but a solid sleeper pick. Better than the last 4 guys.
131. Andre Ethier - .290 average, 15-20 HR - Solid pick here, especially if you need some help in the OF. Not a sexy pick, but he is 27 so he is about to hit his prime, and he won't hurt your team in any categories really.
132. Brad Hawpe - My pick for sleeper of the year in the OF potentially. He is a 14/15 round pick, but could have 30 HR. PECOTA loves this guy, and projects 23 HR in only 500 PAs. If he stays healthy, 100/30/100 is possible.

137. Connor Jackson - Good average, average HR - again, not a high ceiling type of pick, but you know what you are gonna get.

145. Mark DeRosa - No.
160. Milton Bradley - DeRosa's teammate, and a much better pick here. 80/25/80. Can get 8-10 steals, hit close to .300. Better than the last 2 guys for sure.
165. Xavier Nady - Won't run, but will hit .275 with 20 HR. Runs/RBI will just happen when you play for the Yankees.
168. Pat Burrell - 25-30 HR with a .230 average. If you need power, he is a great pickup.

169. Denard Span - Tons of potential, but overrated at this point in his career. I wouldn't do it, but at this point of the draft, you can take risks if you want.
173. Rick Ankiel - .260, but 25 HR. Plus, it is frickin' Rick Ankiel. Do it.
180. Hideki Matsui - Do not draft.

181. Adam Jones - No, not that one. Actually a big sleeper candidate - 20/10/.280. I like him. Great 4th OF to draft.
185. Shin-Soo Choo - Actually a potential sleeper. I am not huge on this guy, but 15/10/.280 is probable.
187. Elijah Dukes - Seperate real life from fantasy baseball for this asshole - 20/20/.280 potential.
188. Willy Tavares - Will steal 60 bases this year and hit 1 HR. If you have loaded up on guys like Ryan Howard, Adam Dunn, Mark Reynolds, draft this guy for your steals.
189. Nick Swisher - .230 average, 25 HR. If you can make up for the average, do it.
192. Adam Lind - 14 HR, 3 SB, .272 PECOTA. Meh.

OK - at this point, I am going to other notables:
193. Delmon Young - 15-20 HR and SB, .280 average - sleeper pick here.
201. Cameron Maybin - The Marlins gave up on Cabrera for this guy - 15-20 HR, 20+ SB, .260s average - solid pick if you need a 4th OF or an injury replacement.
214. Jeremy Hermida - 15-20 HR, decent average.
248. Travis Snider - PECOTA likes him for 23 HR and a .250 average.
253. Carlos Gomez - Cheap source of steals, but not much else.
254. Jack Cust - Could have 30 HRs, but won't hit .240.
275. Michael Bourn - Amnesia, but another cheap source of steals.
280. Randy Winn - Close to a .300 average and some SB.

All in all, by the end of the draft, you will have at least 4 guys who can play OF. There are so many. Hope this helps, but I really just did it so I could get ready for my 2 drafts on Sunday!

Coming next - pitchers!

American Idol Top 10

2009-03-25T21:15:00.000-07:00

Confession time- these recaps just aren't important enough to me to warrant watching all this opening crap. Maybe if I weren't racing to watch both this and lost on the same night. . . No, just not. Yeah - Carrie didn't make it to AI tonight, so this is just me on this end. Also, since Carrie is worried about other teachers at her school reading the blog, as well as her family and all, I have promised no sex jokes this week. This is gonna be hard, but I will stick it out and hope everything comes naturally.

Matty G- Smokey says that "Marvin would love that," because any dead performer would love a karaoke version of one of his meaningful songs sung in the context of a giant popularity contest on an extreme right wing network. Oh hell yes! I can't imagine much more will be better than this tonight. Outstanding. (He has sung this song for so many drunk bachelorettes in his lifetime at Silky's! He should know this like the back of Ron's hand!) They show Paula and Kara and they are giddy- hee! Chip: Nice. Uh, yeah! Kara actually makes a sex joke. I can't, but she does. Paula has some sort of arm/chest fat hanging over the top of her outfit - ouch.

Arkansas- He's so cute! Ryan says, "last week we saw his sensitive side" - really, is there another side? Is there anything else to him? I mean, this is okay, but didn't rock me like Matt did. Anyway, he's fine but he bores me. So let's talk about me. Chloe loved Matty G. Also, I found myself singing "our" song to her tonight a lot, because of the theme- My Girl. I really hope someone sings it so I can save it an play it for her! She's only really heard the song once- maybe I can fool her into thinking I wrote it! What's the over/under on how old she is before she figures out the truth? Macaulay Culkin dies at the end of this song. Back to this guy. What is with the way he sings and talks out of the right side of his mouth. Is he subconsciously thinking about the last time he went fishing? Bell's palsy? A stroke? Chip thinks he's "polished"- I guess. He doesn't know shit from shinola? Thank you! He'd like to hear it with the guitar only and not the band. OK, I can see that. But then it wouldn't be Motown. But that's okay, right DAUGHTRY? I love the way Kris' shirt makes it look like he has arm tattoos. You're so cool dude! Paula: blah blah blah, high A, I think? Oh, Paula. I hope you asked someone you trust, because that answer didn't come from you at all. Is that Padma in the crowd behind Simon? All in all, his version of "How Sweet it is" in no way compares to Chris Klein's in American Pie.

Guy who is blind (Me, trying to come up with a clever name: Chip, who's a famous blind guy? Chip: Ronnie Millsaps! Both of us: Spit-take. Man that shit cracked us up!) - Apparently all songs tonight start off slow, then go up tempo. Really, this is the third in a row. Oh lordy that was horrible. Goodness. Just make this stop, America! FF to comments This was my second straight FF - why is Paula with the technically talk tonight? She is so scripted! Paula says that he "pleased both Simon and I" - which, that's what she...said with bad grammar. Simon and me, not Simon and I. Simon- word. Rough. Wait, does Paula not know that Randy is agreeing with Simon? She is a disaster! Answer the question, Paula- he's not as good as the others. Whoa- WTF? Oh no. That did NOT just happen with the coloring books! Oh shit, and then Ryan had to describe it to Scott! Oh goodness. This is just bad all around. Chip just decided he doesn't want to watch AI anymore. I think I understand where he's coming from. I think that was a sketch, from start to finish.

Tim Commorford (anyone? Arm tattoo guy from RATM? OK - here's "Megan Joy") - My no sex comments/jokes will be pushed to the extreme here. She's just not a good singer. Oh Good God she is terrible - hot, but terrible. Chip doesn't like how they glammed her up. She is dressed in a way that shows off her body. Not that I have anything to say about that. He wants her to look quirky if she's going to sound and act quirky. She makes me want to never wear flats again. Flat is not the word I...caught myself. And also makes me want cheek implants. I'd implant in her che...can't do it. I'll sum it up- if I'm a guy, I don't ever want her to go home (I want her to go home -with me, so we can...I mean, yes, she is attractive.) because she is clearly the hottest Idol contestant ever. But me? Buh bye. Paula says that she "didn't find the pocket". Oh come on! Leather pants! Does nobody else see that Ross is wearing leather pants! People like Ross don't generally wear these types of pants! (Randy was about to start talking, and Chip said, It wasn't jumping off for me, dawg. Then Randy said it! Awesome.)

Anoop!- Chip deems Smokey worthless. He loves everyone! I agree- bring back Randy Travis! Great song choice. This is great. But why does he have that jacket on? The outfit is fine without it. I actually blacked out, and when I came to, I was cleaning out the fridge. I am dead serious here - I think I was looking for a Sprite Zero. Anyway, his falsetto is nice. Kara - "There were moments in your chest where you hit it" - at the end of the day, I must say that was the first time in my life I have ever heard anyone say that sentence. Chip, however, hates this song, thinks it's "lifeless." Aw, Simon likes him! Me too. I can't agree that Anoop had a "strong week".

Roughneck- Is it weird that I'm surprised when I see people? I'm like, Oh yeah- the roughneck! (I did this with Kris too.) Church! Oh, and Smokey finally redeems himself by criticizing Roughneck. Thanks, Smokey! If it's all the same to you, I'm going to use Ashlee Simpson's plastic surgeon and not yours when my time comes, okay? Okay. Hey - Smokey is 91 years old and looks like that. Freaky, but he could look much worse. Back to this one. Jacob: This song really sums up the experience. I'm surprised Adam didn't wrestle the Bear for it! (I haven't read him yet, of course- that was really just for you, Shannon!) Hold on- you can't really gospel that up- it's about sex and stuff! Sarver coughs a little at the end, and it looks like a soccer player taking a dive. Simon- why do people boo when he says Sarver has no chance of winning? He doesn't! Simon - ouch. He does say it was below par, which in golf is a good thing. So he's got that going for him.

Lil Rounds- Smokey just sprouted wood (Smokey wood is great for mesquite), then did the whole "phone book" thing. It's the alphabet, Smokey! I have that EXACT joke written down in my notes. Samesies! Wait- Lil is black? I'm kidding- I appreciate this. (The Onion this week- In one of many historic firsts, Barack Obama becomes the first black president to TiVo MythBusters. LOL!) Chip mentioned that Smokey didn't need all that work in order to look young- he carries himself and dresses much younger than he is. OK, she is so cute, dressing the part and all. This is great- very effortless. Like, if she misses a note, it doesn't bother me because she doesn't seem to be trying too hard, ya know? Anyway- Lil: Hey skinny white boys, this is Motown. Snap, bitches. Yeah, she sang the shit out of that. She is awesome - the judges suck.

Adam- Barf. Chip says, If he undersings something, I might like it! He's the king, I mean, Queen Oversinger. Nice. Oh my lord. What is going on with him physically? Chip: He looks like a character on Lazytown! HHAaaaaaaaaaahahaha!!!!!! OK, I'm ruined now. I have no idea what is happening other than Lazytown. LOLZ! Chip just won this blog post. I had written down kd lang and Extreme jokes, but they don't compare. OK, I can't understand what the judges are saying, it's all muffled with Adam's dick all in their mouths. (talk about jealousy, infidelity...) Eh, I guess it was alright. But I think. . . OMG- look at him! Bwaahahaaa! Sportacus! OK, I'm back. I just hate that he's going to win. I mean, I'm sort of happy because we need an openly gay Idol (um...), but eh. Still don't get this guy's appeal. (PS - thanks to Chip, I have youtubed "You are a Pirate", and the double entendres really fit with Adam Lambert. PPS - I put "You are a Pirate" between Arcade Fire's "Intervention" and Sigur Ros' "Hoppipolla" on my favorite songs of all time. OK, not really.)

Liam Neeson - Smokey has actual advice! That is promptly ignored. PWN3D, Robinson! I do like his voice, and yes, I understand people see him as a Yamin type. But I LOVED Elliot Yamin. I do not love this guy. Chip says, Yeah, just like Adam is good but we just don't "like" him. Damn, Chip's right- we don't like these people! Ugh. Almost an immediate FF. Hopefully, a real, true fave will emerge for me soon. Right now, it's really Matty G, Lil, and Allison and a bunch of people who bug me. Lil is far and away my favorite. Then Megan, for obvious reasons. Like the MUTE button on my remote. (And Anoop- but he's just aaallmmooooost there for me.) Why are the judges rushing? There are 15 minutes left!

Speaking of- Allison! Dude, the band is so happy about this song! They have been a bit sub-par this season. I was hoping Motown night would bring them out of their funk. Fast Forward again. Yikes - Can't they have hair band week next week, or Irish drinking song week? (Skid Row's Wasted Time, and The Irish Rover are the songs I would choose for those 2 weeks, btw. For Motown - I Want You Back, the Jackson 5. Easy.) OK, Allison. Yes ma'am. Secretly, she's my favorite. I think she's emerging as the one I have an emotional investment in. I mean, g-damn! I can't believe she's 16. I agree - I hope she does well, but I REALLY hope this season gets more bearable.
(Emotional investment in years past: Kelly, Kim Locke, Latoya London/Huddy, Bo Bice, Chris Daughtry/Yamin, Blake/Doolittle, David Cook. For me - Kelly Clarkson, Bob Ice, Fantasia, McPhee's legs, Michael Johns.)

Anyway, watching the playback you watched the playback?- Lil and Allison are just so much more comfortable on stage than most of the others. I'm not holding my breath when they're out there. They are confident and fun, and don't sound like they're in a HS talent show. But I really like Matt too, and Gokey did well, and Anoop. I still think Alexis has a chance. And Adam? As much as I hate Adam, I don't fast forward him. His hair! Yar har fiddle dee dee, being a pirate is alright with me! Also - Wednesday night does NOT work for us. Lost takes so much precedence. Tonight's episode - no way that ending sticks. Dude!!!
Seacrest- OUT!

Middle Infielders

2009-03-25T16:08:00.000-07:00

The key to fantasy baseball is being solid up the middle - 2B and SS. These are strong defensive positions, so finding someone here to contribute fantasy-wise is crucial, especially with the depth at other positions. This is why I would take Kinsler or Rollins late in the first round over someone like Teixeira.

Second Base:
10. Ian Kinsler - I am partial to Kinsler because I have him as a keeper. If you are drafting anywhere from 8-12, I would target Kinsler despite his injury last year. 20/20/.300 potential.
21. Chase Utley - Really ranked low because of the hip injury. But a steal - you should grab him at any point in the second round if he is available. He is playing now and is expected to be ready for Opening Day. 30 HR, .300 guy. I have seen him go in the first round even.
23. Dustin Pedroia - Will score a ton of runs. His average should come down a couple of points from last year, but has 20/20 potential. Could be the next Kinsler, but also this season could finish more in the 10-15 HR/SB range, and you could do worse, but second round is a maybe for me. Third round, grab him for sure if he is available.
24. Brandon Phillips - He is Pedroia realized, if that makes sense. I mean, he actually has gone 20/20 and doesn't just have the potential for that. Average could be better - .261 last year, but a .282 PECOTA means that I would take him over Pedroia at this point. If you are in the 1-4 draft spots, the last 2 guys are definite late 2nd/early 3rd range for you.

37. Brian Roberts - 10-15 HR, 30+ SB, but his projected average is down a bit. Otherwise, he belongs in the same discussion as the last 2 guys. Don't let him slip past you in the 4th round.
53. Alexei Ramirez - Another solid pick. Listed as SS, 2B, and OF, but don't play him at OF unless you have Utley and Rollins up the middle or something and he slips to you. He will post just under .300, and is a 15-20 HR guy and should get double digit steals.

71. Dan Uggla - This dude is a 30 HR guy for some reason. He may even slug .500. You aren't going to get that from a lot of MIs, so if you have guys like Carl Crawford on your team and need HR, you can get them from Uggla in the sixth round from a position where you don't normally get that production.
82. Chone Figgins - His lack of power and average won't kill you at 2B like it would at 3B, so if you draft him, you are set on steals - now focus on finding some guys to bring up your other stats. Personally, I hate steals guys on my team - I would rather be loaded up with 20/20 guys than a guy who will hit 4 HR and steal 40 bases, and another guy who hits 35 HR and doesn't steal a base, but that is just my preference. Especially since steals guys (Taveras, Pierre) kill you on HR and RBI.
92. Howie Kendrick - Can carry you in average, in theory. That theory being that he can finally get more than 400 PAs in one season, which he hasn't yet. Doesn't provide much otherwise. Has potential at 25, but let him be someone else's headache.
93. Robinson Cano - Again, high average, 10-15 HR, no SB. Probably safer than Kendrick, but same production. At this point, if you don't have a 2B and you missed out on Uggla, don't worry about 2B for a couple of rounds.

130. Mike Aviles - 10-15 HR, .265-.275 average, few steals - I don't know. 60 runs, 60 RBI - Meh. Nothing too exciting for the eleventh round.
143. Kelly Johnson - Could hit 15-20 HR, hit .280 with double digit steals - Solid pick for the 13th round, where he is slipping too. Definitely the best 2B prospect since Uggla.
145. Mark DeRosa - Do Not Draft.

172. Jose Lopez - Not stellar, but better than the guys who will be available on the waiver wire after the draft. Don't draft him to play 1B.
174. Kazuo Matsui - Slipping to about 200 overall, but could steal 20 bases. Really unfortunate injury last year. If you need a cheap source of steals from someone who won't kill you in average, pull the trigger in that 15-17th round if you need a 2B.
191. Rickie Weeks - Yes. Here is your sleeper - if you want a good 2B backup, or if you missed out on Kelly Johnson, Weeks is your guy. 15-20 HR and SB, .270 average. Is being drafted behind a bunch of guys at 2B who are worse options. You can wait until the 18th round if you need.

209. Placido Polanco - Good average, but not much else. Don't do it, but root for him regardless. I love that guy.
213. Orlando Hudson - 10/10 .290. Emergency pick. Whoever drafts him will release him in a few weeks, so he is a solid injury replacement.
225. Ian Stewart - Great sleeper pick here. Listed at 3B too, so stash him on your bench. Heck - you can even start him at 2B if you want, especially for home games.
241. Mark Ellis - 10/10/.250. Don't, unless your guy gets injured.

That was just the top 20 - here are the other mentionables at 2B:
257. Felipe Lopez - Could be a cheap source of steals, and could have a rebound year.
259. Alexi Casilla - Could steal 20 bases, but weak average.

Shortstop:
1. Hanley Ramirez - No matter where you are drafting, draft him if he is available. Really, he could have 30 HR, 40 SB, 100 RBI, 130 Runs, and hit .330. That's not even his ceiling. Only 25. Best player in fantasy right now.
3. Jose Reyes - Again, draft him if Hanley and Pujols are gone. 15-20 HR, 65-70 SB, .300+ average, 125 runs, 75 RBI - really, you draft him and you are probably gonna win SB, and you really don't have to make up much else, because his HR are par for the position.
11. Jimmy Rollins - If you are late 1st round drafting, take him in the 8-12 range if Kinsler is gone. If you can grab Kinsler or Utley and Rollins with your first 2 picks, you are set up the middle and are looking good. He will rebound from last year and get back in the 20 HR range, with 40 SB and an average in the high .200s.

53. Alexei Ramirez - Yeah, that was some dropoff. SS is a very top-heavy position, and if you don't get yours in the first round, don't worry about it for a few rounds. I will probably not draft Alexei for SS, but that is just me. If you do, I would draft him in the 5th round.
57. Rafael Furcal - Don't do it. You know who he is, and he has a track record of success, but let him be someone else's headache. If someone drops him around the all star break, pick him up because he always has a good second half, but don't draft him.
60. Troy Tulowitzki - Do this instead. Injuries derailed last year, but he should do .280 plus, 15-20 HR, and he plays in Colorado.
67. Stephen Drew - Another good 6th/7th round SS. 25 HR potential, could be Utley without the steals. I say 6th round if you don't have a SS at this point.
80. Michael Young - If he wasn't a SS, he would be ranked in the 150s. .280 10/10 type of guy, may not reproduce this 2006 numbers again in his career. Let's put it this way - I wouldn't draft him, but I drafted him in one league. I don't know if that makes sense.
87. JJ Hardy - I would draft him over Young. 20+ HR and a .270 average. Solid, and you can get him a round later than Young.

89. Jeter - Do Not Draft. 10/10, .280 - not a top 100 guy.
109 - Jhonny Peralta - 20 HR, .260 - Meh. I phrobably whouldn't dhraft him here unless I was dhesperate for a SS.
118. Miguel Tejada - Do Not Draft. Could be in jail for lying to Congress or something.
130. Mike Aviles - Again, nothing to get worked up about.

184. Khalil Greene - 15-20 HR, .250 average - roughly what you could get from Peralta at 75 places later.
186. Ryan Theriot - 20 SB and a good average - not bad for this late. Good sleeper pick, can get some runs in a potent lineup. Will hurt in power though.
200. Orlando Cabrera - No. Stay away. Nothing to get excited about.
212. Yunel Escobar - Again, good average but not much else.

OK, that is only the top 17, but there really isn't much else. Here are some other notables:
257. Felipe Lopez - Getting tired of talking about this guy, but has a lot of positions listed, so a good bench guy.
288. Christian Guzman - Great average last year. Good injury fill in.
646. Jason Bartlett - The fantasy magazine I get really wants him to have a breakout season. Could be a cheap source of steals, but not much else.
687. Elvis Andrus - Again, draftable for the name alone. But if he gets to play in the bigs this year, could steal 30+ bases.

So, shortstop is a position where you need to grab someone good, because there aren't many sleepers. If you miss out on the big 3, target Tulowitzki or Stephen Drew, the JJ Hardy if you don't get them. Don't be ashamed with Ramirez, Young, Peralta, or Greene though. If worse comes to worse and you end up with Jeter or Tejada, good luck with that.

Corner Infielders

2009-03-24T21:35:00.000-07:00

I am going to list 1B and 3B in one post, because of the overlap in players and average production. I will try to separate with tiers when possible, just because it is easier to read.

First Base:
2. Albert Pujols - Draft him no later than #2 overall. If you land him at 2, make a joke involving "Poo Holes" and "Number 2" on the chat feature.
6. Miguel Cabrera - OK, I like Cabrera here. He had 26 HR in the last 3 months last season, and reached career highs in HR and RBI. His AVG was down somewhat, but should rebound. He is slipping to about 8 on average, but gets dual 1B/3B listing, meaning you can draft him in the first round and decide where you are going to play him later. Talented Mr. Roto is projecting a huge season for Miggy.
9. Ryan Howard - 50 HR is awesome, but .250 average last year was a roto killer. I would draft him as high as 9 in a head to head league, but early second round in a roto league. I would rather take Kinsler, Rollins, or Johan Santana at 9. But just know what you are getting here.
12. Mark Teixeira - Again - take Kinsler, Rollins, or Santana at 12/13 if that is where you are drafting. Tex will have 35 HR, 100 runs, 100+ RBI, .300+ AVG and all, so it isn't like he is a bad pick. It is just that 1B is so deep a position, and he isn't playing for that contract anymore.

17. Lance Berkman - Another 30, 100, 100, .300 guy - what separates him from Tex is the 18 SB last year. Solid second round pick.
19. Prince Fielder - OK, I would stay away here. He is falling to the late second round on average, but I would rather go elsewhere here. Not a bad pick or anything, but that is too high based on his production last season, and his projections for this year.
29. Justin Morneau - Has high RBI numbers because he comes up to bat with men on base more than anyone else in the league. 25 HR, .280, 100 RBI - not bad, but I don't know about the third round.

40. Kevin Youklis - His 29 HR last year should come down a little, as should his average, based on his high BABIP. I think 40 is too high for him.
49. Adrian Gonzalez - Solid. But, who will he drive in this year? SD has no one else really, and half his runs scored may come from his own HRs. Good keeper, and if it is the 5th round and you need a power guy, go for it. I would take him at 1B over Youklis, and he is on par with Morneau, but ranked 20 spots lower.

63. Victor Martinez - Should not play 1B for you this year. Maybe not even Catcher.
64. Garrett Atkins - I like his chances for a rebound year. Plays in Colorado and makes the most of it. Will put up Morneau numbers, ranked 35 spots lower. I would grab him in the 5th, definitely the 6th, and put him at either 1B or 3B depending on the rest of your team. Slipping to 72 overall on average - a 6th round steal. You can even push your luck and try for early 7th round if that is where you are drafting.
66. Adam Dunn - Controversial guy because his AVG is low but his OPS is insane because of his walks and his power. A stats geek type of guy. Should hit .250 or above, but hit 40 HR and have 100 RBI. Again. Late 6th round for sure - plus, he plays OF if you need him to.
68. Chris Davis - You will draft him in the late 6th/early 7th round, and some dork in your league will write "good pick" to try to sound like he knows what he is doing. Davis is a solid pick and projects to 29 HR , but a .259 AVG. Listed at 3B also. If you can grab him in the 7th round, do it, but he probably won't be there because someone will reach for him in the 5th round.
77. Aubrey Huff - Really, he had 32 HR last year. 108 RBI. .304 average. Probably won't approach any of those this year. Overrated because of his huge year last year, best to just stay away and let someone else pray that he repeats.

95. Derrek Lee - I drafted him in my keeper league in the hopes that he would be my keeper, but he wasn't. Should hit .290, 20 HR, .800+ OPS. But I don't know about the 8th round for Lee. As a Cubs fan, I hope he hits .400 with 40 HR though.
101. Carlos Pena - 30 HR, 90 RBI projections, but a .240 average is killer. If you still need some power in the 9th or 10th rounds and don't have a strong 1B, you can grab this guy.
103. Joey Votto - Draft Votto as your 1B over Pena, Lee, or Huff. Should have 25+ HR, 85+ RBI, hit .290, slug .500 - especially in a keeper league, this guy is gold. If you reach the 7th round and everyone Davis and earlier is gone, just wait until the 9th or 10th round and grab Joey.
119. Carlos Delgado - Ranked really low for a guy who had such a good year last year (38.2 VORP!). If someone steals Votto from you, Delgado is your backup plan. 25 HR, 95 RBI, .275, .500+ SLG - almost the same as Joey. Going 11th round on average.

137. Connor Jackson - Married to a Chloe Harper, if I'm not mistaken. Don't overrate this guy based on his awesome name, and don't pick him out of desperation of Votto and Delgado are gone and you don't have a 1B. Should hit close to .300, but 16 projected HR from a 1B is killer. 141. 141. James Loney - See Connor Jackson - really, exact same numbers, don't do it.
142. Jorge Cantu - Quite a comeback year last year. Should have more HR than the last 2 guys, hit about .270 however, and is probably a better panic 3B pick than a panic 1B pick.
155. Carlos Guillen - Ah, Carlos. 15/10/.270 guy. Just, stay away, and root for him every time he comes to the plate.
172. Jose Lopez - Better 2B pick than a 1B pick. Actually, a better pick for someone else in your league, but whatever.
189. Nick Swisher - Again, if you need power and are set at average, take a flyer on Swish at this point of the draft. Will hit under .250, but could have 30 HR.
194. Billy Butler - Could have a breakout year. 15-20 HR, .290+ AVG - not a bad pickup at this point. Upside galore, 23 years old. Probably a better pick than Guillen or Lopez.

That is the top 25 1B according to yahoo. Others of note:
195. Paul Konerko - Worth a flyer maybe. 20+ HR, .250-.260 average.
220. Adam LaRoche - I like LaRoche - 25 HR with a .270 average, after Delgado, has the most HR potential other than Swisher, and with a better average.
226. Jason Giambi - 20 HR, .230 AVG. At your own risk.
265. Casey Kotchman - Good average, but bad power.
293. Mike Jacobs - Won't have 30 HR again. OBP is terrible for a 1B. Stay away.
900. Todd Helton - What year is it?

Third Base:
4. David Wright - Yeah, #4 sounds about right here. With ARod out, really he owns the top tier of 3B with Cabrera.
6. Cabrera - If you draft him in the first round, he will probably be your starting 3B. Focus on 1B if you do so.
14. Evan Longoria - Could be a 100/30/100 guy, but his average will keep him in the second round. I would only draft him late in the second round - that average will be tough to overcome, and he hasn't hit 30 yet. 80/25/90 is probably closer to what you'll get. Draft him 2nd round if it is a keeper league though.

38. Aramis Ramirez - If you have a late 3rd round pick, go for him. .290, 26 HR, 101 RBI projetions. You can wait to try to grab Atkins or Chipper if you don't want to pull the trigger on Aramis here.
39. A Rod - Really belongs in the top 3, but the injury and the fallout and everything. The best baseball player any of us will see in our lifetimes, PEDs or no. I would draft him in the second round. I actually have.
40. Youklis - Again, grab him as your 3B over 1B.
41. Russel Martin - If you draft him, never play him at 3B.

64. Garrett Atkins - Seriously, grab this guy if you can.
65. Chipper Jones - Chipper is injured a lot, but really will hit for average and for power. Solid pick for the 6th round, but maybe grab him in the 5th if you want.
68. Chris Davis - See above.
69. Ryan Zimmerman - Still young, having Dunn in the lineup will help. You will get .290, 20 HRs and some solid run/RBI production here. Good keeper too.
77. Aubrey Huff - Again, I say NO, but if you are desperate for 3B. Actually no, just stay away.
82. Chone Figgins - Tons of steals, will carry you in that category. Don't reach for Figgins - he will drag you down in AVG and HR, especially at 3B. If you draft him, start him at 2B.

108. Edwin Encarnacion - If you want a 3B sleeper, go here. 25 HR, .280 average, around .500 slugging. Getting drafted around 140 on average, which is the 12th round, meaning you can even wait a round if you want and grab him 10th/11th. I like this guy's ranking versus his production.

139. Adrian Beltre - If you missed out on the last guy, wait a couple of rounds and take a flyer on Beltre. PECOTA .270, 20+HR, 88 RBI. You could do worse.
142. Jorge Cantu - Even as a 3B, kind of a risk.
145. Mark DeRosa - Go ahead and put him on your Do Not Draft list.
146. Alex Gordon - Some good power, but a poor average. Still - 23HR is worth a .258 average at this point of the draft.
155. Carlos Guillen - Still, don't.

198. Mark Reynolds - Sleeper. 198 is way too low for a guy who will have 30+ HR. Yeah, he will hit .240 if he is lucky, and he struck out 204 times last year, but still. Do it.
202. Troy Glaus - Hit as many HR as Longoria last year (in about 100 more PAs). Still - 22 HR and a .257 average projection - compare that to Alex Gordon 56 spots higher. Another sleeper.
204. Hank Blalock - Should get 15 HR andhit .265. Don't.
225. Ian Stewart - Could hit 20 HR, .270, half his home games in Colorado - not a bad sleeper.
233. Pablo Sandoval - If you are lucky to grab this guy, start him at catcher. He will go in the 15th round though, and probably be drafted ahead of the last 9 guys on this list. And should be.
238. Melvin Mora - Conventional wisdom predicts another solid year from this guy, but PECOTA doesn't, and PECOTA is better than conventional wisdom. I would stay away.

Other 3B of note (are there any?):
257. Felipe Lopez - Could return to fantasy glory this year, and is listed at about every position. Decent source of SB.
271. Kevin Kouzmanoff - Wow - I just looked at his PECOTA - 24 HR, 92 RBI, .275 AVG - Do it. A new sleeper for my 3B sleeper list.

If somehow, all these guys are gone and you need a 3B, look at...oh hell, just hope you don't. Kouzy should be available at this point, grab that guy if you need. Seriously - I would take him over Felipe Lopez, Mora, Stewart, Blalock, Guillen, and DeRosa.

Catchers

2009-03-24T20:34:00.000-07:00

So I have decided to post about my upcoming fantasy baseball draft as a way of thinking out loud and doing research at the same time. I think maybe literally no one will care about what I am about to write, but whatever.

With Yahoo drafts, the drafting is different than if you get 12 guys in a room to randomly pick their teams. You have to follow yahoo's rankings, see where people are getting drafted, draft the guy you want in the round before he is normally going, and let others draft the overrated guys. It is simple, and I am just going to share my strategy which leads me to win a lot of the time, because I love fantasy baseball like a huge stats geek should.

All the rankings will be Yahoo's; PECOTA is a way of forecasting a player's stats for the upcoming season using a bunch of factors; VORP is Value Over Replacement Player; PA = plate appearances; OPS = OBP + SLG. Hopefully that covers it.

Catchers:
Top 12 - this allows 1 per team, which is important because not many teams will carry an extra catcher. (Catcher is not a position where there is a lot of depth, but there is a danger of drafting too high.)
41. Russel Martin - My fantasy magazine also has him ranked as the highest catcher. Of course, they have him 93 overall. He will be the only catcher to contribute in terms of stolen bases - 21 and 18 the past 2 years. Could hit .300. He is listed as 3B too, but you shouldn't play him there ever.
44. Brian McCann - I would have him ranked as the #1 catcher. Martin is cool because of the stolen bases, but a catcher can't keep that pace up over a career. And 10-15 more stolen bases are fun, but McCann will also give you .300, then 25 HR and 100 RBI as opposed to Martin's 12-15 HR and 70 RBI. The thing is, I would never take Martin #41 overall, but I can see McCann here at 44 - that is late 4th round. If he is available in the 5th round, I would pull the trigger (same with Martin).
52. Joe Mauer - Yikes. The injuries scare me. He helps out a ton in average, even though PECOTA has him at .307 with only a 43% chance of improving. His projected 88 runs and 68 RBI will be fewer if he misses some time here at the beginning of the year. He will hit fewer than 10 HR too. I mean, not a bad catcher to have on your team, but 52 is way too high. Let someone else draft him.
54. Geovany Soto - Rookie of the Year and a Cub! I would consider him top 3 with Martin and McCann. Projects to 25 HRs, 85 RBI, and a .288 average, but has a high Breakout rate and should at the minimum improve. I would also go 5th round on Soto.
63. Victor Martinez - Nope. Not at 63. He had 2 HR in 294 plate appearances last season. I now there were injury issues and all, but I just can't justify drafting him this high. Sure, he may have 25 HR and 114 RBIs like in 2007, but his PECOTA is just too low. Especially with pick #63 in the early 6th round - there are plenty of better and safer picks available here.
90. Ryan Doumit - Eh. 15 HR last year, high average though. Not an 8th round pick.
107. Matt Wieters - The guy I covet most in my keeper league draft. 23 years old, he hit .365 in AA last year. That is an EqAVG of .349 - PECOTA has him at 31(!!) HR, 102 RBI, and a .311 average. Plus, he is starting the year in AAA because of something about salary arbitration, so people may not want him and he could slip. Ranked 107 but average draft position is 114 - 10th round. I would draft him immediately in the 10th round if not in the 9th.
138. Chris Iannetta - Solid. At 138, he is being drafted in the 12th round. Should have 15-20 HR next season, hit .285 or more, and he plays half his games in Colorado. May not get the same number of plate appearances as other catchers, but is a great keeper.
147. Bengie Molina - Iffy. Had a career high in PAs last year, but is 35 this season. People will draft him on the 15-20 HRs he has been hitting the last few seasons, but he should decline now as a mid-30s catcher. PECOTA has him with 10 HR and a .276 average. I say stay away - pick him up if your starter gets injured.
150. Jorge Posada - Hmm...37 this year and coming off an injury, but will get playing time and it is a good Yankees lineup. I say stay away based on his low projections and his low Breakout/Improve rates.
164. Mike Napoli - 20 HR in 274 PAs last season, 27 years old - I like this guy as a sleeper catcher. Especially with a 14th round average draft pick. Red flag is his relatively low BAs coming into last season, combined with his apparent bad throwing arm which will cut into his PT. If you have filled out your lineup pretty well but still need a catcher in rounds 13/14, pull the trigger.
205. Dioner Navarro - God knows why he is ranked as the 12th catcher. He is the 14th catcher taken on average, and is probably drafted by people who autodraft and don't prerank. PECOTA: 381 PA, 7 HR, 43 RBI, 38 runs, .259 avg.

Those are the top 12 - probably all are on teams if you are in a league. Here are the other notables:
207. AJ Pierzynski - Don't.
233. Pablo Sandoval - Yes. 22 years old, you will get him at catcher this year only because of the 11 games he played at that position last year. SF's starting 3B, projects to 15 HR, 74 RBI, .289 avg, 565 PAs. If you miss one out on Napoli, he is the next best available. A yahoo anomaly because of the catcher listing, so not a great keeper though. But whatever. But, the rest of the world has this secret too - he is drafted on average in the 15th round at 184.
239. Ramon Hernandez - Um, if you want. Maybe if your starter gets injured, but probably not even then.
240. Kelly Shoppach - Yes yes yes. I would rather have him over Victor Martinez. 21 HR last year in 403 PA. If you miss out on Sandoval, come here next.
246. Jeff Clement - Solid PECOTA projections of 16 HR in 426 PAs. If all else fails.
258. Jarrod Saltalamacchia - I drafted this guy to be my keeper catcher last season, but he didn't have the breakout season I wanted. I say stay away until he proves himself.
264. Yadier Molina - Just don't.
850. Pudge - Looked good in the WBC, but I just wouldn't. Remember, he was a Tiger last season - I saw firsthand. Trust me.
985. Jason Varitek - he is the 12th catcher drafted on average! WTF? Should hit .230 with 5 HR this season. There are better options.

So, in summation, McCann 4th-5th round, Martin 5th round if available, Soto 5th round, Wieters 9th-10th round, Iannetta 11th-12th round, Napoli 13th-14th round, Sandoval 14th-15th round,
Shoppach if all else has failed, in the 18th-19th round. If you miss them all...grab Jeff Clement Chris Snyder, Brandon Inge, or heaven forbid Pudge.

American Idol Top 11

2009-03-17T20:48:00.001-07:00

First off, Happy St. Patrick's Day, and Welcome Jackson!

*Again, me in black, Steph in Blue*

Tonight is important because the top 10 make the tour, but it is unimportant because it is country music night, which is terrible. I see a lot of fast forwarding in our future.

The skeleton of Randy Travis will be advising the contestants tonight. Randy Travis is a doll. His teeth! I could just eat him up with a spoon. Carrie wants him to be her grandfather.

Roughrider: Randy Travis' advice - "Don't lose the words in the lick" - that's what she said. I hate that song on Idol. It's just an exercise in saying a bunch of words. It's like The End of the World As We Know It, etc. I didn't care for that. Yeah, this song combined the worst elements of country and rap. It is called, "Ain't goin' down 'til the sun comes up," which I believe is the country remake of Elton John's "Oh let your son go down on me." (Still my joke.) Simon says, "Can't understand a word. Am I right Steve and Eydie?"

Allison: Sings a song by Linda Lovelace? Will it sound all gargly? She's so awesome. I like how the corners of her smile make her look a little like the Joker. Oh Kara- the cliche is "sing the phone book," not "alphabet." Singing the alphabet isn't a crazy notion- I do it daily! Carrie: "sings the alphabet - I hate that! Oh wait, that's the phone book." Simon: "Precocious". Randy: "Dope"

Cutie McYoungLife: Is this show over yet? I haven't recognized a song yet, and this bored me to tears. More Garth. Oh, this song is a cover, right? It was on the Hope Floats soundtrack. So embarrassing that I know that, but not any more embarrassing than the fact that I'm watching AI. OK, time to fast forward- I'm tired! Yes, this is the third straight we have fast forwarded. I'll just agree with whatever Simon says. . . Oh, he liked it? OK then. I guess it was good. Not only did the judges like it, but Randy said "tender moment from my dog Kris," which made me wish that Kris' name was Rover or something. Oh, and Paula has that weird cleavage separation thing working tonight. Paula looks good tonight. You just never know what she's going to bring to the table fashion-wise.

Lil: Sings that song about Bill Pullman. Randy Travis again says something to her about having more room for the licks you do - they are reaching Golf Channel amount of double entendres tonight. Looks like she's going to prom again. She's black and doesn't know country? What are the odds? Independence Day is awesome- she might be able to sell this. I don't want her to sing straight country, though. That seems counter-productive. She should have done I Will Always Love You! This started okay, then ended great. You just nailed that shit, Lil Rounds. Man, she can sing. But I can't look at this objectively in the least. I've got the Tigers winning my bracket and Lil winning AI. There is no limit to the Memphis pride right now. OK, I think Lil is short for Lillian and not Little. Whatever, Simon! Although I secretly agree with his assessment. (Shhhh! Don't tell Coach Cal.) Carrie and I had the same talk about objectivity with the Memphis girls, but it happened on the skinny chick, not Lil. (Which I think is short for Lilly. Although I am intrigued by naming our daughter Little and calling her Lil for short - would you need an apostrophe?)

Trainwreck: Takes a song about Johnny Cash's succumbing to his own desires, and subtly makes it about butt sex. OK, I can't believe this guy is a front-runner. Randy Travis, I agree with you- I don't need this. He does have a nice blouse/necklace thing going on. I am worried that the judges are going to fall all over themselves to praise this, since he is doing what they just told Lil she should have done. Kara said it was strange, but she liked it, which is not only what she said, but also jives with what I think Adam is making the song about. Simon- "WTH was that?" Ha! Love you, Simon! Chip loves when Simon uses the word indulgent. Score! But really- that was just horrible. Horrible! Indulgent is an understatement. Chip and Simon and me and Carrie and everyone else is right about that. (BTW - we paused and had a 20 minute discussion about why he is the front runner, and the following words were used: Twilight, androgyny, Pete Wentz, gay, bisexual, 14 year-old girls, Boy George, burning man, ecstasy, Hot Topic, the Jonas Brothers, and the phrase, "yeah I just don't get it either.")

Blindy McWonderCharlesHealy: Seriously, our 4th fast forward of the night. I love that Randy Travis is such an old-school guy- he's like, You can't sing a girl song! Hee! Hey Randy- what doesn't sound quite right is that Scott isn't a good singer. OK, I just don't like his singing, so I'm going to fast forward here. Ugh- Simon and Paula are arguing. I don't have time for this. Scott says that he keeps "losing hat picks" and doesn't get to sing his original song choices - maybe he should have someone supervise those in the future...

Memphis 2: We most certainly do NOT all like country down here in the south! No kidding - we both were like, speak for yourself, woman! I do love this song, though- it's my pick each year for country week! That is exactly what I told Carrie - I was like, I get Cold Cold Heart, Steph gets Jolene. I guess I do like some country. Just not the Toby Keith kind. Here's my other Tiger in the Final Four. Make it happen girl! OK, I feel like she is emotionally connected to the song, the first person I can say that about tonight. She strangely looks a little like Dolly to me tonight. THANK YOU - I mentioned it to Carrie, then more and more as the song went on, it became uncanny. Am I projecting, or has that always been the case? Never noticed before, but it was very odd and I am so happy you agree with us. I liked her, of course. What can I say. When they showed her family, it was strangely a cross section of every white person I see when I come into Memphis.

Gokey: Oh no- not this song. Make it stop. I like Carrie Underwear okay, as a person, but she's the kind of country I don't like to listen to. I mean really, there are okay country songs. Why sing this one? I think it is because it is about a woman who almost dies. I hate to say that, but the association was there for me, so I can imagine it stirs up sympathy again among voters, even if it is subliminally. Oh, I see- so that he can belt out the chorus and blow the roof off this mother. That too. If I didn't hate this song so much, I'd be impressed. But I'm not. Yeah, it is like, the woman in the song loses control of the car with her kids in it, and stops trying to save their lives and leaves it all in Jesus' hands? If your house is on fire, do you try to get the kids out, or do you toss your hands in the air and just leave it up to Jesus? It is so irresponsible. (You see where there are just one set of skid marks? It was then that I was driving for you.) I hate country music. I agree with Kara, and I'm not just saying that because she's hot- dude - the first half of that song sucked. Paula wants to be the next Mrs. Gokey. Simon and Kara really hate each other, don't they? Oh yeah, Carrie thought he was nasal-y.

Anoop: Randy Travis - "hard to get Willie out of your mind." I believe that was a direct quote from She. They are killing me for TWSSs this week, seriously. Anoop - please don't suck again this week. I need you to stick around to balance out the douchiness of the other male contestants. He is actually really good this time! I like this. I like Anoop. It is like, he stopped coasting and actually tried! As an aside, I'm really glad they're getting country night out of the way early this year. But then again, we have to hear 11 country songs instead of like, fewer than 11 country songs. Make next week "Disco" and we can get the uncomfortable crap out of the way. You are thinking of SYTYCD here - I don't mind disco if they choose the right songs. I mean, except for what Lambert is gonna do. I hate when country or disco knock out a real contender towards the end of the season- it's just not fair. Simon loves him too! Yay!

Teh Hawtnass - I love hearing Randy T. try to be diplomatic. Whatever - he said that Megan "has been done every way possible," agreeing with my assessment from last week. Oh, wait, he was talking about the song. Wow- she is freaking gorgeous. Really, it is starting to get ridiculous. Good job putting the girls front and center- it almost distracts me from the debacle of what's coming out of her mouth. My thoughts exactly - oh, did you say coming "out of" her mouth? But still - remember in The 40 Year Old Virgin when he says that breasts feel like a big bag of sand? That is what they look like this week! Chip is speechless. And wow- she's got a nipple ring! Oh yeah - I don't know about Chip, but my peenie just went "huh?" I agree with Simon- she looks flawlessly gorgeous and not quirky anymore. Chip said something to that effect earlier, actually. Like we expect her to sound better because she looks so good. It's weird. I will give the vocals a pass because of two reasons - one, she sounded good when working with Randy Travis, and two, the flu thing, for which I am guessing about half the coughs were caused by (the other half was for sympathy).

WMU G - This is fine. Carrie really likes him - again, I feel some sort of kinship based on regionalism, even if I have only been to Kalamazoo once, and that was just the interstate. I just hate modern country music that's not by the Dixie Chicks, especially the ballads, so I can't really comment on this. I like Matt. Kara says, "there's nothing small about you", which is again exactly what she said. Paula says that she likes his authentict...authenct...she thinks he is authentic. Simon seems to like him, but then compares him to Michael Bubbly, which is about as low of an insult as you can give, unless you compare him to a certain popera-star-who-shall-not-be-named. (Not even in a comment on this post!!!)

My top five are Allison, Memphis 1&2, Anoop and Matt. I don't care about the rest of them. Really I'm just glad country night is over.
I am starting to get disappointed in this season. Then again, I think that every year after country week. I like the Memphians and Chateau Giraud, and especially Teh Hawtness, but I just know that I have like 6 to 10 more weeks of Adam's douche-terity, VisionQuest sticking around longer than he should, Gokily Dokily following an Elliot Yamin tragectory, and Kris Allen's Mormonstrosity. I say the Roughrider goes home this week, but whatever.

Happy Birthday Chloe!

2009-03-15T16:14:00.001-07:00

American Idol Top 13

2009-03-10T21:13:00.000-07:00

So AI is back - here are my thoughts and Steph's thoughts - hers are in blue.

Seacrest walks on stage and says, "Last week the judges upped the ante - now up yours!" Kara, looks really hot. Italian chick top 5 for sure. 2 are going home this week, which is nice because I was worried that a top 13 would push SYTYCD back a week. Loved the judges intros! I'm such a dork. I just can't believe Simon actually dresses like that. I really do love him.

I've spent the day trying to figure out which MJ song I'd sing. Probably Working Day and Night! Just kidding. Say Say Say, obviously. (Or that duet with Janet from a few years ago, with the cool video? Or maybe Don't Let Your Son Go Down On Me? That's my joke! This is tough.) Man- I've already had a whole glass of wine and no one has sung yet! I would totally sing I Want You Back by the Jackson 5, if anyone cares.

Lil Rounds: Let's head down to Memphis! Hell yes! And drive across that bridge into Arkansas that no one actually ever drives over except maybe once every few years to a wedding in Hot Springs. Growing up in Memphis IS great! It is second only to growing up anywhere else in the world. Her house was destroyed in this tornado. That hotel is right by the Hickory Ridge Mall. Lil- your body is KICKIN! She's got an itty bitty waist and round thing in my face- Chip is sprung. Sweet Jesus her ass. Rounds, yes. Lil, no. Plus, yikes on the outfit! Glad to see she didn't need to use anything from wardrobe, unless wardrobe exists at a PTA conference in 1987. The way you make me feel is like voting, Lil Rounds! She said "baaayby" like she's from Memphis. She just sounds like home to me. Nice job, Lil. Must be so hard to open this show on the big stage, but she looks and sounds like she's done this forever. Chip just did the Vince Carter "it's over." Wooohooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah, seriously - this competition is hers to lose. I might have just booed Simon for the first time. Yeah, Simon - how is that a lazy song choice? What, did you want Thriller or something? She sang the hell out of that. But he did say, "give me 5 minutes, I'd sort her out." Which is much creepier when Clive Davis says it.

Blindy McGarfunkel: I would be more impressed if he was deaf, right? If this were a painting contest, I'd vote for him. They show his parents, who are like, "sucks that he is blind". His sister is blind too. At least Erin Brokovich got them that settlement money. OMG- the dancing with the also-blind sister almost melted my cold, cold Memphis heart! But not quite. Hey - that gets them triple the money begging in India! Slumdog FTW! OK, I've heard worse singing (me, earlier, singing Livin on a Prayer on Rock Band) but still- this can not be my next American Idol. Ooof. And the crowd goes wild! Whatever. Kara: "I'm so glad we get to see you. . . at the piano." Nice. Kara also compliments his "vision" - make that, his "message", sorry. Whatever, Paula- if I had a nickel for every time I've seen a man's instrument at his finger tips. . . Paula - tonight for her is what Hugh Laurie would call a "3 Vicodin scene" when shooting House. Seriously, her face is swollen. Elvis is embarassed by her tonight. Simon: "It's fine being artistic, just not on this show." FTW! Simon actually called a spade a spade and is right, that was kinda suck. We hit the fast forward for the first time on that performance.

Robert Downey Widower: While they are showing his family - Me: "He has like 400 people in his family. Used to be 401." Carrie: "Thanks, now I am going to die. Haven't I taught you about karma?" He was great as the Comedian in Watchmen. Widower != Jeffrey Dean Morgan. PYT! Oh, this is so fun. Dude, he BUSTED OUT with PYT! That was awesome. I hope the sympathy voters hitch their ride to this star and not the previous one. Go Paula- get down! Hard not to- really, this song rocks. The other guys are totally jealous right now. Chip: "He's been in front of a few worship services." Just like Kevin Paige! Also, ahem, this performance was better than just Gokey! Like Okay!? Anyone? Blog five!!!

You should know, I am just not going to be listening to all four judges every time. I'll listen to Simon, possibly Paula just to laugh, but I can't do it. I mean, that's 52 judges comments TONIGHT. Not gonna happen. Whatever - Simon just said that he is like Michael McDonald - a white man with soul. That led to a bunch of Michael McDonald impressions all over the country.

Roughneck: He was an oil rigger? A roughneck? You don't say! Eh. He's pleasant. Simon, again, with the money quote! "I just wish we knew what you did for a living." Yeah, Simon stole my joke. At this point, I think Paula's outfit is a knockoff of something Bjork wore at the Ice Capades. Brenda Warner is on line 2, calling to see where she bought that.

Jasmine: Cute black girl with Memphis connections. She is cute, but she has 270 degrees of vision - her eyes are so far apart. She has no blind spots while driving. When she gets pink eye, it doesn't spread to the other eye. "Let's go down South now." Tunica! Seriously- her family is GORGEOUS. That is the thing we remember the most about her, even from her very first audition. Chip would consider leaving me for that one sister, I think. Jasmine sings I'll Be There, a song that came out 70 years before she was born. Chip thinks this song is too big for her, before she even starts. Predicts that she'll go the Mariah route. Chip, with the shocking knowledge of pop music! Carrie had to tell me that Mariah did a version of this. This is a little pitchy for me. But really, she's such a doll! Oooh, Randy with the Mariah name drop. Well played, sir. Carrie doesn't like her shoes. Meow!

Kris Allen: Didn't someone by that name date Clooney? OK, he's cute, the guitar is cute, he sounds fine. He will get the J-Rich vote. Jason Richardson? Are Suns fans big AI watchers? Maybe shouldn't have shown us his wife, though. Yeah - he seems to be married to a chick in a scarf. They totally are active in Young Life. Chip: "Dude- he's kind of relevant! Could be douching it up like Jason Mraz!" Ouch - I am not a fan, but a comparison to Jason Mraz is kind of harsh. Yep. He sings a song that can apparently only be sung out of the right side of his mouth. Kara: "A whole other side of you." Yes! Not a whole nother! We sadly made this exact same comment, 700 miles away from you two. Simon- agrees with me about the wife! Randy- agrees with Chip about Mraz, heir to the Massingill fortune! Dude- we should be judges on this show! We're a great team. Kara notes that he helped the other contestants - odds are, it was by "saving" them.

Alone- It's just like, it's just like, a (Mexican) mini-mall! I said that it was the Mega Lo Mart. What's this song now? Um, is it Give It To Me, or Given To Me? I want to say the first, because it is funnier. I like her, I really do. Carrie likes her "rockin' attitude". Don't know this song at all, though. She should be doing Dirty Diana instead. But really, I like her. Carrie says that she should stop talking - then Paula totally motions for her to zip her lip. Nice.

Anoop! Anoop - totally tried out for this show as a joke, and now he can't get out of it. Chip: "Anoop shall COME again." That turns me on a little. Plus, if I met him, I would be like, Freida Pinto - I would wreck that chick. OK, I love Anoop. I'm letting the whole "Tarheel" thing slide. He's working the crowd, rocking the Members Only jacket- I love him. I wish I had been in the fraternity with him - oh, wait, UNC - maybe not so much. OK, I wish he was my drinking buddy when I was in my early 20s. Simon rocked Paula's world by making her go first. Oooh, negative from Paula! Wow. Simon is right about how it wasn't aggressive enough, but I still love Anoop. The judges totally don't get the joke. Ryan with his mom and nana is about the cutest thing I've ever seen.

Jorge- if I'm Hillary, I'm going with this and not Jackson. Just to be clear. It is a first name. JK - we get to meet Jackson sometime between now and the 23rd! Oh, I love when English is subtitled. Yes - it is a way of "othering", like when they subtitled on the Children of Appalachia 20/20. We can understand them! It is English! This is nice, the accent adds a little something to the song. Carrie - "so many eyebrows in tonight's episode". His voice is fine, but I am just not a fan. We actually fast forwarded. Simon is on fire! Jorge: "I'm not gonna sing Bad by Michael Jackson." Simon: "You kind of did." You know, my least favorite part of AI is when you can actually see someone's heart break, like Jorge's did when Simon said that. Jorge already seems on the verge of tears at all times.

Tattoo Sleeve- Okay, she is soooooo cute. And Shannon's right- I'm sure anything goes with her, with that tattoo and all. She is ridiculously hot. Seriously - she is already divorced, has a kid, and has tattoo sleeve. A note of advice for the next guy who dates her - when you have been together with her for a while, and you two are drinking, and you start talking about sexual fantasies, and she coyly asks you what your sexual fantasy is - dude, you probably can shoot for the moon here. This is the moment you have waited for your whole life. Nothing, I mean nothing, is off the table. You can probably go a little less Princess Leia in the gold bikini and a little more 2 Girls 1 Cup.

Her brother is her best friend! Me too! Aw! But her brother is apparently a 21 year old Phillip Seymour Hoffman. Utah, huh. I can't believe Utah hasn't kicked her out yet. BTW - I googled her, and there is apparently a porn star named Megan Joy. Another +1 in the WIN column. Dude- Mom. MILF. Her mom is a total MILF. Carrie said that before I could say it. What a hot family- too bad brother got fat. I think she's crying about her son because she feels guilty about how much fun it is to be away from him. Oh, just kidding Connor! Chip and I do her little dance all the time, BTW. I think it freaked out the people in the gas station the other night. OK, I like this. It's fun, she's cute, she sounds good, different, interesting. She's relevant for sure. But yeah, she is awesomely hot. Did she just caw at the end of that? WTF? There is a part of the song when she sings "every little swallow", and it totally worked in an NLP kind of way for me. Anyway, Chip can't get over how hot she is, and I can appreciate that. He thinks she should not worry about singing and just model- and he even liked her singing okay! We actually thought it was pretty cheesy! But yeah, I can't get over teh hawtnass. If something does happen to Carrie now since I made that unfortunate Gokey joke earlier, I have my backup ready to go.

*PS - really, if you are an older reader of this blog and are someone that I know or am related to, if you didn't get a joke from those last 2 paragraphs, just let it go. Seriously.

Gay- Hey - he climbed Mt. Everest! Wait, that was the second guy. OK, take those gross earring things out now before your ears are stretched beyond all recognition. Hate that shit. Unless it is in Incubus! OK, he's okay, but I don't love him as much as everyone else seems to. I think he forgot the words on one part. But wow, this is terrible. Over the top and terrible - Carrie is covering her face. What a horrible song choice too. I think he'll rock on 80's metal night, though. (Seriously though- when are they going to have one? That would rule! And be so challenging for the singers!) I have to say, I appreciate Paula's whole thing about letting each performer "take it all in." This really is his moment, and each of their moment- first time on the big stage, first time being cheered like this by a big crowd, etc. Wait, the judges think he's that good? I don't know about all that. The judges really liked that? Really? That was one of the 10 worst performance ever possibly. I don't get it.

Matt G: Kalamazoo in the house! They have a ping pong table in the garage - odds are, they have a pool table in the basement also, along with a bar they built with a keg fridge (with Bell's in it) and a dart board nearby. At least one person in his family owns a Red Wings starter jacket, and most of the people he went to high school with ended up at Western because either their applications were rejected by State, or they just wanted to save money by living at home. Matt has a much older brother who has a mullet and plays defenseman in an over-40 hockey league. Wait, is his mom black? I didn't know. Justin Timberlake is so jealous right now. I think she is just Michigan. But I think maybe that counts against him- it worked better when he was the funky white guy. (But come on, we've seen Lynn's hair- JT has a brotha somewhere on his mom's side.) Anyway, I like him- I hope he doesn't suck. He doesn't! He sings Human Nature - swish! Maybe that is the MJ song I would have chosen. I loved it, because that song makes me happy anyway. Good- I liked that. Chip did too. Chip thinks he lost a little control at the end, but overall was awesome. He likes him too. If he goes home early, then Carrie and I will lobby Frank and Hillary to stop by his piano bar on the way out to South Haven the next time we all go. Ah, Western Michigan. The home of Dutch settlers and a lot of Republicans.

Memphis 2: Memphis opens and closes the show! Hell yes again! I could tell by the external shot that her house is in Cordova. Dirty Diana! Suck it, Alone! Oh yes, she is rocking this. Damn she is skinny! And a little hot too. Seriously- the Memphis girls rule. I don't even think I'm biased. (BTW- man there are a lot of words in this song!) She totally went for it and nailed it. We liked her performance. Chloe has the same shirt her daughter is wearing- Old Navy in the house! Oh, shut up Simon. Oh crap- why did they screw her like that on the numbers? It isn't fair that she gets cut off since they are short on time. Also, when she is over the top, it is a bad thing, but when Lambert does it it is a good thing? Even though she sang well and Lambert was the gawd awful?

Chip: I have to say, I thought this season was going to be weak, be Lil and everyone else, but this show was jumpin off tonight. Was much better than I thought. It is still Lil and everyone else, but the gap wasn't as large we all thought. That's what she said.

OK, at this point in the season, it's hard to separate who was best from who I'm pulling for. Yeah, at this point, I don't care really. I just don't want Lil or hotness to go home yet. So I think the best two girls were Lil and Alone, but I voted for Alexis too. Plus I like Tattoo Sleeve. Guys, I think Robert Downey Wdr. was actually great. Silky Sullivan's was good too. Anoop is my man, so I like him even though he wasn't one of the best. I just didn't like Gay as much as everyone else- sorry about that. I think at this point, it's more about who I'd like to see go. Blind, Roughneck, Jorge, borderline Miss'ippi and Mormon. Any of those 5 would be fine by me.

Wooohooooo! I love American Idol! And I love recapping!

...and men

2009-02-05T13:51:00.000-08:00

I came across an interesting job posting in my search today:

http://www.ozonehouse.org/involved-jobs.shtml

Here is the part which made me do a double take:
"We strongly encourage the following groups to apply: people of color, individuals who possess an in-depth understanding of poverty or economic hardship, people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender, and men."

In summation, the "groups" of people who are strongly encouraged to apply:
- people of color
- people who are or who have been poor
- homosexuals, bisexuals, transgenders
- men

To which I was thinking, no...maybe...no...YES!!!!!!

A Conversation With A Student

2009-02-01T07:26:00.000-08:00

Teacher: Hey guys settle down. Sit on the couch and wait for your parents to get here, so you can go home for the day.

Student: Hey, teacher check this out.

Boys go to Mars to get more smart.

Girls go to Jupiter to get more
(Teacher interrupts)

Teacher: I wouldn't finish that if I were you. Both of your teachers are girls-ya know.

Student: Oh it's not what you think.

Teacher: Uh huh.

The kid starts talking to another kid for a couple of minutes. Then looks back up at the teacher.

Student: Hey, what planet rhymes with candy bar?

Teacher: (looking puzzled and trying not to giggle) Uhhhhh, well there really isn't one. Mars is a type of candy bar though.

Student: (thinking really hard) No, there's definitely one that rhymes with candy bar.

Teacher: (trying to hold back a smile and a laugh) If you say so.

The student starts talking to another student about Pokemon or something for a minute or so.

Student: Oh, my sister taught me this one. (He has two older sisters. One is a tween-and one is a teenager.)

Boys go to Mars to get more smart.

Girls go to Venus to get more ....

(The teacher's eyes get really big. She is freaking out.)

What was it again? Oh yeah..

Boys go to Mars to get more smart.
Girls go to Venus to get more candy bars.

Teacher: (looking puzzled and relieved) Umm, that's a good one.

Student: I know.

Icicles

2009-01-15T12:50:00.001-08:00

Best of 2008: Music

2009-01-08T22:09:00.000-08:00

Every year, I always figure out what my favorite song of the year was. This year for some reason was particularly difficult. I think this is because much of the "new" music I listened to this year was technically from 2007 or 2006, so those really don't count. On the way back from Memphis, Carrie and I had a discussion about what was my favorite song of 2008 that was either from an album released in 2008, or a single from a 2007 album that was released in 2008 - every time I came up with one, she would tell me, "no, that wasn't your favorite song this year." We decided that I would check the iPod when I got home, and scour over some other people's lists online (yes, even Pitchfork, the website I love to hate to love).

I don't know why, but it took me a solid week to figure it out, and then when I decided on #1, it feels like I was cheating a little, but you will see my rationale below. But because I thought of so many songs, I figured I would rank them and give some links to youtube where applicable. Also, I decided to not do that thing that so many lists do, with only 1 song per artist, like a VH1 list of best hair band songs - seriously, how can you pick just one Skid Row song? So here goes:

Honorable Mentions: We Are Scientists, Ghouls, Let's See It, and Lethal Enforcer; Hot Chip, One Pure Thought; Mogwai, Batcat; and CSS, Rat is Dead.

20) Vampire Weekend, Cape Cod Kwassa Kwassa - OK, in all seriousness, I don't like to admit that I like this song. These guys seem like they are the whitest group of guys in history. Like, they vacation in the Hamptons or something. But the song is catchy, and I enjoy it for some reason. Never really a contender for song of the year, and Let's See It and One Pure Thought are actually better songs, but I just wanted to seperately mention how truly white Vampire Weekend. Really, it is epic.

19) M83, Kim and Jessie - This song is a guilty pleasure for me and would never have made the list, but a bunch of "best of" lists have this song on it, so that was all I needed to include it here. It sounds like those French guys Air from a few years back, but better and less obnoxious. Also, the video has fun roller skating.

18) She & Him, Why Do You Let Me Stay Here? - Zooey's song here, and it is okay, even if her singing style is a bit nasaly. Wait - I take that back - I have this on the list to impress her, because after I saw Elf she was top 5 worthy. Everything about you is awesome! Ben Gibbard doesn't know what he lucked into!!!!

17) Faunts, M4 (Part II) - Totally a song that I alone seem to enjoy. I don't know - probably the whole suspenseful build up feel to the song.

16) Bishop Allen, Click Click Click Click - This song came out around the wedding, and it is about a guy crashing a wedding and ending up in a wedding picture, so it has a special place in my heart. I even put it on the iPod playlist at the wedding. Then, a few months later this song is on and Carrie lets me know that she isn't a fan, and I explained that it was special to me because of the wedding and all. After that, she says that she felt bad about saying that and can't hate it anymore! But I think it is neat and cute, and anything that reminds me of the wedding will always be a keeper. Plus, I think the video is spiffy.

15) Portishead, Machine Gun - A song that I am just really getting into, but it was on most of the critics list for the year. I got some of their old stuff, and am digging it. This song is pretty kick ass if you ask me.

14) Cold War Kids, Something is Not Right with Me - Most of you will and probably should find this song pretty annoying, but I think it rocks. The lyrics are fun and the song makes me want to run through a brick wall.

13) Fleet Foxes, He Doesn't Know Why - Another group here that I am just getting into. I always liked another song by them (foreshadowing), and this song is really chill and all. The CD is really good too, and was on a bunch of critics' lists. Maybe this time in a few months, this song will rate higher. They aren't quite like Band of Horses in that they are more about singing and harmonies and such, but still there seems to be an obvious comparison. You might hear more on these guys in the next little bit.

12) Rihanna, Don't Stop the Music - I didn't actually check, but I think this single was released in 2008. At least, that is my story and I am sticking to it. Would normally rate higher, but I am always hesitant on dance songs.

11) Kings of Leon, Use Somebody - This was a pleasant surprise this year. KoL was always a band that I felt old for not "getting", but they put out a couple of songs this year that changed my opinion. I mean, I liked Four Kicks a few years back, but not enough to get the CD or anything. But they did this song on SNL, and I was impressed.

10) Ra Ra Riot, Ghost Under Rocks - I rank this here at #10, but at one point I decided this was my favorite song of the year. The weak final act of this song and the whiny voice of the guy put it at number 10 though. Still an awesome awesome song. Plus, strings. And a hot chick playing strings. There were a couple of months this summer that this was my favorite song. Probably should be rated higher, but I don't feel like changing it.

9) The White Stripes, Conquest - Really, I love to just belt out "Conquest"!!! Really a fun song, and was definitive for the summer months for us. If this song makes Rock Band, I call dibs on vocals.

8) Fleet Foxes, White Winter Hymnal - I was following the I was following the I was following the I was following the... No, but seriously, this song is incredible. I loved it initially, then forgot about it, then the other song came out, and I got the CD, and then even Pitchfork had this as their album of the year. This song is incredible - I am still getting used to it again, and it was at one point the frontrunner for song of the year. I really just need to listen to it more.

7) We Are Scientists, After Hours - OK, let's just get it out of the way - I am unabashedly a huge We Are Scientists fan. I love just about everything they put out. All of it is high quality pop stuff. Goofy, harmless, fun stuff. I have no idea how these guys aren't huge. They even put out fun videos, like this one - you all should watch it all the way through. The hot chick from 30 Rock is in it. But still - go get these guys' CDs, they are really fun escapist quality stuff. It feels weird having them in front of Fleet Foxes on this list, but it is the same way that I enjoy Wayne's World over Citizen Kane - I can recognize that Fleet Foxes is better technically and all, but I just love this crap! These guys rule!

6) Metallica, The Day That Never Comes - So how does this work, do I get sued for even linking to the youtube video of this song? Look, I know that liking Metallica anymore is like going to see a Tom Cruise movie - you don't want to support them, but they do put out good stuff and all. Still - this song is like old school Metallica - it kicks ass. The first 5 minutes or so are build up, but really - on this youtube video, at the 5:21 mark, it goes from a pretty good song to an absolute mess of kickassitude. The last 3 minutes rock.

5) Coldplay, Viva La Vida - I have written about this before, this song rules because it seems like a bunch of French Revolution imagery and I am a French Revolution guy. Plus, I think I read that they used a producer who worked with the Arcade Fire or something, which makes it okay to like a little bit more. I am not even going to look that up, and just assume it is true. I know they say Coldplay is music for people who don't like music, and Chris Coldplay is all spazzy and douche-y but I just get into this song when it comes on.

4) Hot Chip, Ready for the Floor - How can I not like a group called Hot Chip? This is really a great song and really fun too. It is a little techno and all, but it is also really high quality too. It makes me happy for the future of music that these guys are out there putting out stuff like this. I can't listen to this song without bouncing.

3) Kings of Leon, Sex on Fire - Yeah, I put this song at number 3. Speaking of Rock Band, I would absolutely belt this shit out. Even his squeaky thing he does. This song brought me around on these guys. Carrie would add that he is practically hot now, after he was really mousy on the other stuff we saw by them. Fun song - I like it. My favorite part is about at 2:35.

2) Santogold, L.E.S. Artistes - This was a tough one for me. Really was the favorite to be number 1, but I honestly don't know if I will still dig this song or this chick in a few years. She is very new to me - I heard this song on Subterranean a couple of times earlier this year, and liked it. Then it made all the critics' lists, so I gave it another listen. It really is incredible. I mean, the video is strange, and I think that it may have turned me off initially. But it is actually a really moving song. Listen to the lyrics - it is about all the lower east side folks who say they like her so they will sound cool, even though they never really appreciate the music. Or something. Plus, "I can say I hope it will be worth what I give up" - I don't know, I just really like this song.

1) Band of Horses, I Go To The Barn Because I Like The - You like the what??? Yeah, it is cheating - this was never released as a single and the album is from 2007. But still - my first dance at my wedding was to this song. I am getting teary eyed with it on now in the background. When I think of 2008, I will always think of this song. Thanks to all the others for playing, but this was a slam dunk.

Maybe in 2009 or 2010 I will get into an album from 2008 that I wasn't aware of this past year. Even Sigur Ros, Muse, and Jenny Lewis put out albums that I haven't even heard yet. But this is the list as of the end of 2008. I hope you enjoyed and maybe heard some stuff you haven't heard before, or heard something you think I am stupid for liking. Please comment!

Earle Girls' Xmas Dinner

2008-12-22T05:49:00.000-08:00

Every year for the past 6 or 7 years I have celebrated the holidays with my lovely lady friends that I befriended at my last restaurant job, The Earle. We usually go to the cozy restaurant, The Lord Fox. This year due to financial reasons, we decided to have the festive dinner at one of our homes. We were happy to have everyone over at our place. In past dinners, there have been 5 of us ladies. However, due to losing touch with one friend and the other living too far away in Arizona,there were three of us girls. (tear--We missed you so much Kindra!)

This was, however, the first girls' dinner where we had our men there too. My guy was making the yummy food, while the others were there to help if needed. Shannon had it under control though. It was so nice to have everyone over!

We started with martinis and good conversation. It soon followed with Chandon Blanc de Noir with hibiscus flowers and a lovely cheese plate. It consisted of Camembert, Boucheron, Gruyere, and a 3 year old Gouda. The plate was accompanied with apples, rosemary crackers, and a baguette.

A couple of hours later we moved on to drinking the 2006 Stadt Krems Qualitatswein Trocken Kremstal Sandgrube Gruner Veltliner and the 2005 Hubertushof Classic Riesling with a salad of arugula, roasted pears, gorgonzola, and toasted pecans that had been tossed in a white wine vinaigrette.

About an hour later we had the 2007 Seghesio Zinfandel and the 2005 Condado de Haza Ribera del Duero with dinner. Dinner consisted of so many yummy parts. We had pistachio and creole mustard encrusted lamb chops that had been roasted, braised ancho chili short ribs, scalloped potatoes with leeks and cream, as well as leeks and fennel sauteed with lemon zest. Yummy!

We did push on through about an hour later to eat dessert. Even though we were so full. We had a plate of chocolates, vanilla ice cream garnished with a raspberry lemon thumbprint cookie, and a slice of a yummy apple crostata. We had this with much needed coffee. Some of us may have decided to throw in a little Baileys, Amaretto, or Frangelico.

This was a very fun evening of yummy food and drinks with wonderful friends. What a wonderful way to start off the holiday celebration before we travel to see our families in Memphis tomorrow!

2 Weeks in Review

2008-12-05T14:20:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving - Everything was fun as always - the spinach casserole was hotter because I used habanero cheese. Carrie's new pumpkin mascarpone pie was awesome. But yeah, we ended up freezing half of the food, although I did finish the mac and cheese! We would love any of you to come visit next year though!!!

Wine of the week - Juan Gil 2005 Jumilla. It was only $13, and it gets an 89 from WS - it was fantastic. Seriously, it was like blackberry syrup, but also had tannins and earth and depth. The grape is monastrell, which is really the Spanish word for mourvedre. We will get it again, especially since the price is right. Here is what the bottle looks like, in case you want to look for it.

Music - I am horribly disappointed that Beyonce is playing Etta James in a new movie. That would be like Avril Levigne playing Wendy O. Williams.

Also, my new favorite song this week - Mogwai. Awesome video, plus it is apparently part of a genre called "post-rock", which always makes me feel cool when participating in something that uses the prefix "post-".

PS - there is this new video game or something Prince of Persia, and the commercial uses this, one of my favorite songs ever. I had a song by this band on at the wedding - seriously, the lead singer is a gay Icelandic guy who sings in falsetto using a made up language. I wish I were kidding. But the falsetto is very off-putting if you aren't a fan, but I am and I love these guys. (And I looked them Sigur Ros on wikipedia and apparently they are also post-rock. I just learned this term, but I will try to drop it in casual conversation as much as possible in order to appear more annoying than I already am.)

Books - I am in that moment where I can't find a book I want to finish. I have started reading 3 books recently, all from the library, but I am just not interested in finishing them. I am rereading The Blind Side, which you should read especially if you are from Memphis or are a football fan. I think I just want the new Malcolm Gladwell book.

TV - I am very happy that Steph and Chip are watching Top Chef. Also, I seem to be the only one left with any hope that Heroes will get better.

Favorite Link of the week - 82games. I love stats, and now I can better argue that the Grizz need to start Lowry or Crittendon over Conley. And that Rip Hamilton is having a horrible season.

Health - Carrie has been sick for 4 solid weeks now (coughing and sinus and whatnot), so we finally went to the doctor and got some antibiotics. I thought I was in the clear since I hadn't caught anything. Then Sunday, I felt like I might be getting sick and tried to ignore it and drink OJ and take vitamins and all. But Monday, I was just out of it, and I figured that would be it because by the end of the day I was feeling fine. Yesterday, I wake up and take a shower and look in the mirror and my right eye is just bloodshot red. I figured I was just getting pink eye, but as the day went on, it just kept getting worse and all this mucus stuff was coming out, and it hurt and itched. So we went back to the doctor finally and it turns out that it is an infection, and the mucus is really pus, and it is worse than pink eye. I wake up Wednesday morning, and my right eye is crusted shut and my left eye is so mucus-y that I can't see, so I just jumped in the shower and turned my face into the water. It all got better and I look normal again, because I looked like a boxer after a fight that morning. I'm still phlegmy though.

In other words, I haven't had as productive of a week as I would have liked.

Movies - we had a rare 3 movie weekend. Tropic Thunder - good but not as good as I would have liked, but still gets tons of points for being actually original in concept. Iron Man - yes, Robert Downey Jr. did a great job and the movie was really awesome. Then, we watched Raiders again - good times. I dread seeing the new Indiana Jones movie.

Overheard in the classroom - OK, this one is already a classic, but it bears repeating: at lunch, one of the boys in Carrie's class asked if she could open his yogurt for him, so she did, but of course the yogurt went flying and got on her shirt. She looked for some napkins to clean it off. Then, the boy says to her, "I can clean that off...with my tongue!"

The most Ann Arbor thing I saw this week - A woman, standing outside in a couple of inches of snow at Meijer, most likely waiting for the person she was with to get the car and pick her up, wearing sandals and socks.

Week in Review

2008-11-20T20:16:00.000-08:00

Because I can never think of a good blog topic, I will try to post more by telling a little bit of what has happened in our lives over the last week. So here goes - the week in:

TV - Friday Night Lights made me cry because it is the best show ever.
I have been watching Lost reruns - still no good reason as to why they killed off Libby. I get that she had a DUI in real life, but come on.
South Park - really, it was the Goth kids versus the kids who are dressing like vampires now that this Twilight movie is out. Everyone should still be watching this show.
And BOO to ABC for canceling Eli Stone. Although it clears up an hour a week for us.

Movies - We saw Role Models on Friday, and it made us laugh. It had the funny kid from the Tracy Morgan Show. Also, a new Watchmen trailer came out - seriously, when that movie finally comes out, I want to see it in a theater chock full of nerds. Like, the nerdiest Leroy Jenkins nerds ever.

Books - Recently I read 2 books - The Road by Cormac McCarthy, and Haunted by Chuck Palahniuk. The Road - easily one of the best 5 to 10 books I have ever read. Some things in that book absolutely broke my heart. Fantastic read, highly recommended.

Haunted - I remember when a book came out in the 90s called The Hot Zone. The first chapter of this book was a must read - it was gripping and scary and suspenseful to the point where I still read the chapter from time to time. With Haunted, the Saint Gut-Free chapter is its equal. When Chuck Palahniuk went on a book tour to promote Haunted, he read that chapter aloud, and people started fainting! He even added an epilogue for the paperback - apparently 73 people nationwide have fainted at his readings. Some even in Ann Arbor! I wish I could have been there. Point is, none of the women in my life should read that chapter, but all the guys, seriously, google it - it is online. I am not going to link to it because I know my mom reads this, and I don't want her to read it. Steph - remember, you can't tell Chip what it is about until he reads it.

As for my books now, I am reading 3 but can't figure out it I want to read any of them. Thank goodness for libraries.

Health - Carrie got sick, and I have a stye on my right eyelid.

Music - I read something on Pitchfork about how Nirvana wasn't really grunge, but was only associated with the movement since they came from Seattle in the early 90s and wore the right clothes. Carrie and I discussed - we disagree. But feel free to discuss.

Also, we have 2 stations that have moved exclusively to Christmas music. Let me just say - I enjoy Christmas music and all, but really it has become like Rock 103 in Memphis - get some new material already! And not so much of the Groban already!

This is my favorite song right now, but I don't know why.

Weather - it is already stupid cold here. Not as stupid as it will be in late January, but I already have dry skin and have turned on the heat in the apartment. It shouldn't be this cold in November. I am sad because the electric bill has been ridiculously low since we turned the air off, but now it will be high again.

Style - I decided to bring the Doc Martens back. My dress shoes have no traction, and it is already slippery here. Also a big thanks to Cullen and Gina for the Friends and Family coupon that helped Carrie get some new pants for school. Now she has a second pair!!

Sports - Michigan versus ohno state this weekend. I have been watching old games on ESPN classic and reliving the glory days. Of course, the glory days refer to ANY SEASON other than this one.

Also, Coach Rod has been under fire again this week. He said that the losers who post crap on message boards about individual Michigan players should "get a life". The media reported this as Rich Rod saying that all Michigan fans should get a life. Why do they hate him so bad? Wait - don't answer that. He left the poorest state in the nation to get one of the 5 most coveted jobs in coaching - how dare he!??! Then, some students started to leave the program - a third string DT, a WR who has played in one game, and then the great white hope, McGuffie. Well, McGuffie is just a rumor, but apparently the rumor is that he is clinically depressed, and really I just hope the best for him, whatever he decides. (Apparently he is playing on Saturday.) But if he wants to come over and hang out and play Madden, I am more than willing - Carrie goes to bed early, I get bored. Just please don't leave!

Memphis basketball signed a top 5 prospect for next year, and is in the running for a couple more, so that is good.

In other news, 10-0.

Overheard in the classroom
This wasn't this week, but it is one of my favorite Mrs. Miller stories yet. One kid said this to her (for fun, he pronounces his "r"s like "w"s):
"Mrs. Miller, you're a heartbreaker. Hey Mrs. Miller, what's a 'heartbreaker'?"

Food and wine: The current state of the Millfill economy has put a break on a lot of our eating and drinking habits. However, it has made me remember how much I love peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

As for the WS Top 100 list - anyone else getting tired of the same wines every year? Yes, the Clos Apalta is good, apparently it is number 1 this time. The Don Melchor is always top 10, but it was 12 this year. We have a vertical of this one since 1999, only missing the 2000. We don't have the 2005 yet though. Our favorite winery, Chateau Pontet-Canet hit #7 this year though! Very exciting - we don't have this one either. Then again, the 2005 Bordeaux from anywhere is overpriced now. Seghesio Zin hit the top 10, and as a result it is gone from every store in Ann Arbor, except for the Liquor Lotto Deli by our place.

#34 is another favorite of ours in a vintage we haven't tried - we love the Condado de Haza.
#40 - Kim Crawford 2008 - we actually thought this was a little off this time, a little more earthy with some notes of jalapeño. Good, but we found it for $12 - at $18, it isn't worth it.
#44, the Leasingham - we have had this wine, maybe not this vintage, and it is worth the $12 for sure.
#52 - the LAN - we have this on the rack, and I think we got the 2003 for Steph and Chip last year.
Then, the St. Urbans-Hof Riesling 2007 made the list, and this is another quality Riesling, but for fun you guys should branch off from German Rieslings and try some Alsace Rieslings.
#72 - Speaking of - an Alscace! Our favorite! Buy this one if you see it. We will! You know, when things are better.
#77 Duval Leroy - you can never go wrong with this Champagne.

I think those are the ones I am familiar with off the top of my head. If you can afford any of these, I say go for it. If you have any questions, let me know - I don't post about wine enough.

The most "Ann Arbor" thing I saw this week:
At Meijer, I parked next to a Prius with the license plate "MYBRID". Better yet, the M was from having University of Michigan plates.

Bon Hiver!

2008-11-10T12:23:00.000-08:00

Oh the snow, the beautiful snow, filling the sky and earth below. Over the house tops and over the streets, over the heads of people you meet. Dancing flirting skimming along... Oh the snow, the beautiful snow, how the flakes gather and laugh as they go. Whirling about in their maddening fun, it plays in its glee with everyone. Chasing, laughing, hurrying by, it lights on the face and sparkles the eye. And even the dogs with a bark and a bound snap at the crystals that eddy around. The town is alive and its heart in a glow to welcome the coming of beautiful snow. -John Whitaker Watson

OK, so it was just a flurry, but any chance I can take to quote Chris in the Morning!

Historic

2008-11-04T22:59:00.000-08:00

Tonight, Carrie and I were celebrating the historic election, calling everyone we know to express our excitement, whether they wanted to hear it or not. I was speaking to my sister, who recommended that we go downtown Ann Arbor to see if anything was going on. After I hung up, I asked Carrie if she wanted to go, and she said "OK".

We knew that there was an election party at Cafe Felix, so we figured we would check out Main Street first, before going closer to campus. But as we got to the main strip, there was nothing going on. The streets were dead, but there were some people out at the bars of course.

We turned down Washington and headed towards State Street. Still pretty quiet. We had our windows down, and finally we got a scream from a couple walking down the street, so we hollered back - someone was finally happy! Then, we hit State Street, right in front of BWs, then turned right. Suddenly, you could just hear this huge roar. So help me, we looked and saw just hundreds of people walking north on State from campus, turning west onto Liberty. There it was! The celebration! Carrie says, "we should get out!" Of course, right next to us was the available parking spot we needed!! We parked, got out, and joined in the march down Liberty Street, all the while calling everyone we know so that they could hear the cheers.

If I have to name 10 of the most memorable moments of my life when I am on my deathbed, I don't know if there will be enough to knock this one off the list. We all marched down Liberty all the way to Main Street. And I mean the streets and sidewalks were packed full the whole way - there had to be a thousand people, mostly students, just marching, and hooting and hollering - "O-bam-a", "U-S-A", or even "Go Blue"! Random bouts of cheering and applauding, as we walked in the middle of traffic regardless of the color of the traffic lights. Cars driving by and honking and high fiving out of the windows of their cars. Me, trying to take pictures with my camera phone. The cops driving by and telling us all to get out of the middle of the street.

So many things I will remember - people coming out on their balconies to cheer and watch and take pictures, people coming out of bars to cheer, people taking videos, some kids playing a drum and an accordion in a doorway on the parade route, random cowbells. We made the right turn onto Main Street - there was the party at Cafe Felix! People in the lofts on Main Street had their windows open and were waving giant American flags. People just smiling and applauding and cheering and loving the absolute spontaneity of the moment.

We turned onto Washington from Main Street (the second time that night for us, only this time on foot). However, I had to stop - we were somewhere in the middle of the pack, and I wanted to stand off to the side just to see how long the parade really was. I pulled Carrie over at the corner, and we looked. We were standing next to an older couple, maybe 50-ish. I looked over at her - the woman was crying at the wonder and the happiness of the situation. I love the Ann Arborites! She was basically expressing what we were all feeling.

The walk down Washington was more of the same - cheering, people in the bars coming out to high five us, cars honking and cheering. People banging pots and pans along the sidelines. One woman walking in the opposite direction, stopping one of the girls in front of us and asking what was going on, only to be told "I don't know - this just kind of happened!" Then, maybe my favorite moment of the night - 2 African American students meeting in the middle of the street and giving each other an extended bear hug, one that expressed the emotions inherent in the moment, emotions that I will never be fully capable of understanding. That hug - that moment - this is why we were celebrating. That was why we were marching. It was just too exciting of a moment, too historical of a moment, that we had to share it with others. We live in the perfect town for that moment, and just gave me a level of civic pride - hell, national pride - that might never be topped.

Luckily, the parade route brought us full circle to our car. We had to come home, because Carrie had to wake up in less than 5 hours. As we drove south down State, we rolled down the windows and played Obama's acceptance speech at full blast. Then we watched it when we got home. Carrie knew she was going to be tired, but I don't think she cared at all. Still - I will always remember walking down Liberty with Carrie, and just looking at her and having her look at me, and wordlessly expressing to each other the awesomeness of the moment.

Goodwill

2008-09-09T21:19:00.000-07:00

On Saturday, Carrie and I went to the Salvation Army to find some costumes for the party we had to go to that night. See, we had to dress up as something that started with the letter 'B'. (I went as a bowler, Carrie went as Bob's Grandson. I'll explain.) I really wanted to find a bowling shirt to go with my bowler outfit, since I already had the shoes and the bowling ball case. Carrie was still trying to figure it all out.

In case you have never been to Goodwill or the Salvation Army or whatever, let me try to explain the experience. First of all, if you want to meet gay high school boys, this is your place. I guess the whole goodwill look is in still (Carrie said she used to go clothes shopping there in high school too). Also, if you want to find any equipment for any out of date electronic equipment, look no further. The music area had a Barry Manilow album which oddly overlooked the whole store. There were tapes and CDs (including Billy Gilman's One Voice), VCR tapes and even some DVDs, a whole bunch of iPod covers (for some reason), about a dozen VCRs, a dozen TVs (maxing out at 17 inches, tops). Every game or toy you played with as a child was there in the kids section. Well, most of them had some parts missing. There was some terrible artwork, a bed even, some furniture, a whole bunch of books that you might have bought in the 80s or 90s but now have no use for (go there if you are looking for a copy of The South Beach Diet). The kitchen equipment was suspect at best, but still surprising - not just snow cone makers, but a toaster oven and a blender among others. The sports section had some wooden tennis rackets and various random parts for every sport you could think of. There was even a poker chip case, without any poker chips of course. You could decorate a kitchen with the knick knacks and cups and plates that were there. Carrie even found a table lamp she had when she was a child and even wanted to buy, even though I told her it probably wasn't the same one.

As for the clothes, well, we had one rule - we couldn't buy anything we had donated. Finding a bowling shirt was daunting, but we found something that passed. But the shirts - really, everything you could ever expect. I found some Structure, Gap, Old Navy - you name it. Some of those country shirts that Garth Brooks used to wear. Flannel robes. Mom jeans. Silk, sateen, denim. I sadly found a shirt that I wear to work twice a week. (Even more sad - I wear the same shirt to work twice a week.) They had a big and tall section. There was even a section with bridesmaid dresses and prom dresses, and some shirts that might have been seen at a table you waited on at 3:30 on a Sunday afternoon at Grady's. Despite all my prodding, Carrie refused to go as a bridesmaid (starts with a B, only $12!!).

The T-shirt aisle was where we spent most of the time, looking for something for Carrie. (I wanted a "Bikini Inspector" T-shirt, which would have been the awesomest costume ever.) There were many options - a Blue Cross Blue Shield employee, someone on the Belleville Denistry softball team. We even found one that said "Jerry's gang", but it didn't start with a B. Then Carrie found it - a T-shirt that said "Bob's Grandson". First of all, Bob's grandson sucks, because if my grandpa made me that shirt, I would wear it all the time. Also, who makes a shirt that reads "Bob's grandson"? But, it was Carrie's size, and really kinda funny for the party, so it was decided. Really though, looking at the shirts, they all seemed funny in a "I just got this at goodwill" type of way. But when you think about it, if you hadn't bought one of those shirts from goodwill and just had it, then were seen out wearing it, it wouldn't be that funny. And really, you can't tell that if you see someone just wearing a tacky shirt like that. Maybe they are being ironic, maybe not. I guess if they are a gay high school kid, they are being ironic.

Really, as weird as the experience was, and the feeling that we buying clothes better suited towards keeping Washtenaw County's homeless population warm this winter, I also felt that if my house burnt down and I had to refurnish at a minimal cost, I could fill up my place with crap from goodwill. But still - first thing we did when we got home was to wash those shirts before we wore them.

NFL Predictions

2008-09-04T19:23:00.000-07:00

Out of sheer boredom from the fact that I just finished the book I was reading, Carrie was asleep by a quarter to 9, and I am postponing writing a cover letter for a job at Google, I am going to do an NFL preview. I know less than half of you will care, but I figured why not?

NFC East:
Philadelphia 12-4
Dallas 10-6
NY Giants 8-8
Washington 6-10

Philly - McNabb will have another year where everyone wonders why they didn't take him higher in the fantasy drafts. Until he gets hurt. Weak receivers though, but Westbrook is awesome. Defense will be great this year.

Dallas - Romo won't be as good this year. Barber/F Jones will be productive at RB, TO will have a big year, and Pacman will have a return to glory. Tough division though, and tough schedule to end the year. O-line is overrated. I should be watching them on that HBO show! I keep forgetting.

Giants - (Yes, I know they have already won tonight.) Super Bowl hangover - may not make the playoffs this year. Really overachieved last year, and lack of depth on the defensive line will hurt them. Eli is the backup on my keeper team, so I hope he starts off by tearing it up so I can trade him.

Redskins - Campbell is just not good enough. He will lose his starting job to Colt Brennan, who will lead them in a late season charge. Made an emotional playoff run last year, but I don't see them repeating.

NFC West:
Seattle 11-5
Arizona 8-8
St. Louis 5-11
San Francisco 5-11

Seattle is always good and gets no credit. They have Hasselbeck and a bunch of talented wideouts, then some solid RBs. Their O-line needs to play better than last year - losing Hutchinson hurt them, but Walter Jones is still one of the best in the game. Their defense is solid up front. But they have made the playoffs for something like 5 years in a row, but don't get any televised games this year. I don't get it.

Arizona - maybe this is the year they finally deliver and make the playoffs. I don't see it with Warner, and Leinart is in danger of becoming a fluke. He still gets laid more than I do, and I am a newlywed. Their receivers are awesome, Pope could have a big year at TE, Edge needs to put up 1000 yards and 7 TDs for me to be competitive in my keeper league, and their defense will be a surprise this year if they can stay healthy.

St. Louis - where the gun play ring all day. They will score a ton this year and give up even more. Start your offensive guys against St. Louis but not your defense. Especially if their O-line can stay healthy for once. Their points for and against will look like the Texas Rangers this season.

San Francisco - They are starting JT O'Sullivan, Bryant Johnson, and Isaac Bruce this year. Patrick Willis is a beast on defense though. I really got nothing to add here.

NFC North
Green Bay 12-4
Minnesota 10-6
Chicago 6-10
Detroit 4-12

Green Bay - I think Aaron Rogers will be fine, but not stellar. He won't lose a ton of games, especially with the weapons he has around him. Their defense is kickass, and they might get 6 wins against the division. They only allowed 19 sacks all of last season!

Minnesota - Awesome defense, offensive line, and running back. Really, a Super Bowl contender if they had a solid QB. Or even a good backup QB. I just don't see their QBs winning any games for them this year, but the rest of the team is so talented. I wouldn't start my offensive guys against this defense if I could help it.

Chicago - No depth at all. QB situation is whatever, and they have no discernible wide receivers. Sure, they have good players here and there, but still. They would finish at the bottom of the division, if not for...

Detroit - What can I say? I only follow the Titans more than these guys, but yikes. They do have some quality guys here - Kevin Smith will be solid, and their WR duo is among the best in the league. But their O-line allows too many sacks, their defense is more porous than it should be, and they are just not well coached. I am glad the Mike Martz era is over, but our passing is our strength now! Kitna might be the first QB ever with 30TDs and 30 INTs.

NFC South
New Orleans 9-7
Tampa Bay 9-7
Carolina 9-7
Atlanta 3-13

New Orleans has tons of offense. I like them to return to form this year. That is, only if the secondary can stop the pass at all. They might be one of those teams that scores a lot and gives up a lot, but still wins 34-31 each week. This will be the prediction that you laugh at me for at the end of the year.

Tampa Bay - Probably will win the division, but Jeff Garthia is underwhelming. They are young at o-line and d-line, but their secondary will carry them.

Carolina - Will actually win this division, but whatever. Delhomme is solid, WR and RB are good, and their defense will return to form. Should have picked them.

Atlanta - Matt Ryan will struggle, Michael Turner will suck to the point that he will cost me 3 different fantasy leagues, Roddy White will be okay at WR, but the rest of the team is whatever. Their O-line used to be dominant, I don't follow them enough to figure out where that went wrong.

AFC East
New England 13-3
NY Jets 8-8
Buffalo 7-9
Miami 5-11

New England - No way they go undefeated again. I don't know who will beat them, but whatever. Bound to have some injury issues. But they will probably win it all.

NY Jets - On the verge of the playoffs without Favre. Now, on the verge of the playoffs with Favre, but their WR will have better fantasy numbers. Especially Cotchery. Have rebuilt beautifully over the last 2 drafts.

Buffalo - No solid QB, and no defense. Other than that, they will be fine. O-line is solid and consistent. Defense will have Posluszny back, but that's about it. Honestly, I don't even know who their starting QB is.

Miami - Rebuilding well. Jake Long and Chad Henne will lead the resurgence. Henne throwing to Ginn next year makes me feel weird. But still, 5 wins is a kind prediction by me.

AFC West
San Diego 12-4
Denver 9-7
Kansas City 6-10
Oakland 5-11

San Diego - Still awesome, year after year. Will lose again in the playoffs, like they do year after year. The whole Merriman thing blows my mind - playing football on 2 torn knee ligaments? Yikes. Rivers is overrated.

Denver - Should have put 8-8, but they have KC and Oakland to play twice. Weak O-line, weak defense. I mean, comparatively weak. Anyone of them could kick my ass. Plus, their O-line intentionally tried to cause knee injuries, so now they can't stop Merriman who has nothing left in his knee to lose.

KC - LJ will get hurt, I don't know their QB, and they traded away a dominant young defensive player in order to rebuild, which makes no sense.

Oakland - I hope JaMarcus does well at QB, but the rest of the team leaves a lot to be desired. And their fans freak me out.

AFC North
Pittsburgh 9-7
Baltimore 8-8
Cleveland 6-10
Cincinnati 6-10

Pittsburgh - I hope they do well. Big year for Big Ben. Talented young receivers. I worry that the division will play them tough, and that their offensive line will not be good this year. Their defense is solid, but weak on depth. I still predict that Big Ben will have close to 40 TDs this year.

Baltimore - I really just hate this team. I don't know why - I like a lot of the players. Probably that playoff defeat of the Titans a few years ago. But their offense will not be that good this year. Their defense will be insane, but will wear down as they play 40 minutes a game.

Cleveland - Nice steal of Shaun Rogers from the Lions, but no way they repeat last year's success. They should have traded Derek Anderson while they had the chance. They gave up too many draft picks for a backup QB, and then Bodden will shine in Detroit this year. Their offensive line can't repeat last season's awesomeness.

Cincinnati - Just a train wreck. Palmer will still post big numbers, but as much as I love Chris Perry, he is no better than a couple of free agents available right now. No way to predict what will happen with their new defense this season. I do hate the state of Ohio though.

AFC South
Indianapolis 10-6
Jacksonville 10-6
Houston 8-8
Tennessee 7-9

Indy - Really will have a down year this year. Too many injuries - they need to hire a new medical and conditioning staff. Manning will be solid, as will Wayne, Gonzalez, and Addai. They get good karma for drafting Mike Hart. But too many injuries.

Jacksonville - The team everyone is picking this year. Just don't think that Garrard is all that. WR are pretty good I guess, but RB situation is awesome. Good O-line, but overrated defensive seven. Secondary will be helped with that draft pick, but I just don't see them running away with the AFC this year.

Houston - I wonder if Mario Williams watches coverage of the 2006 draft and laughs when people doubt him being chosen over Bush, VY, and Leinart. DeMeco Ryans is a beast, but there is not a lot of depth at defense. If Schaub and Andre Johnson play the whole year, they could legitimately contend for a playoff spot. They need to draft more defense next year. But they might finally have an offensive line this year!

Tennessee - I saved the best for last! Honestly, I will say they can contend for the Super Bowl. There, I said it. This is, of course, if VY gets injured or improves at a level unprecedented in football annals. Their Offensive Line is awesome, and is the only one in the league where I can name all 5 starters (plus some backups). If the rookies at DE can step up, then we can prove the doubters wrong! The secondary looks great, we have Kearse back at DE, Haynesworth needs to sign a big deal to stay in town. We just need a QB and some WR! Chris Johnson will be incredible this year going forward. Seriously - give me some wide outs! We could be a 13-3 team if we had someone like Garrard or if we had signed Culpepper! But I am more intrigued by these guys more than any other team in the year, because of their high ceiling and low floor. Really they could go 4-12 and I wouldn't be surprised, or they could go 11-5 and say that I knew it would happen.

Thanks if you read it, see you later if you didn't. PS - I even made sure that the records evened out to zero. Also, I did this more for myself than for anyone else. I want to go back at the end of the year to see how I did.

Labor Day Weekend

2008-09-03T20:21:00.001-07:00

Things have been pretty hectic around here lately. Carrie started school this week, and is struggling to catch up on all the sleep she lost in anticipation. You know how the first day of school can cause you to lose sleep. That's not good when you wake up at 5. Last week was the last week of my month at work, so I was nervous about hitting my numbers (which I did).

But the weekend was awesome. It was our first Saturday since August 2nd that we got to stay at home. Of course, I went and ruined it by getting a ticket to go see the first game of the Rich Rod era at the University of Michigan. The game was weird - the offense was like nothing I have seen here. No huddle, no rushing game, a bunch of freshmen starting, low expectations. Very strange. As you know, we lost, but it wasn't as soul crushing as last year's first game. All in all, it was fun to actually be there from the start, but we really kind of sucked. It will get better.

I walked home after the game, which is about 3 miles. I felt pretty cool about it, but it cut into our night. We were still able to enjoy a cheese course with heirloom tomatoes and some spicy shrimp with our whites. Carrie did not get the first one right (she guessed that it was a California SB, when it was an Oregon PG - Willamette Valley Pinot Gris 2007 $15, check it out) but nailed the second one. I tried to fool her by getting the 2006 Conundrum, but she got it (I didn't let her guess the vintage). I believe she said, "This is a California Chardonnay. Or wait, it is a blend. Hey, did you get me the Conundrum?" Then we had steaks with cheddar polenta and then Carrie made this ridiculous leeks and bacon dish. Seriously - it was made with cream, and the cream tasted like bacon. Then leeks are awesome - who knew? Another green for the rotation (green beans, broccoli, asparagus). We are to a point now where we take 2 canvas bags to the farmers' market. We are WHITE.

Oh, and with the main course we had this bottle of 2005 Chinon red something that WS gave a 92, but that was off the rack so no game playing. Only $18 at Whole Foods. Good times. (OK - I looked it up - it was the Couly-Dutheil Chinon La Baronnie Madeleine 2005. See why I couldn't just remember it?)

On Sunday we went to something called Arts Beats and Eats, which was basically the Taste of Ann Arbor on steroids. It was in Pontiac, which is an hour away. The whole downtown was closed off, and it was this huge street festival. You had to buy tickets which were in turn used to buy food from restaurants that had booths. Good stuff. The Arts part had a couple of booths that had some nude photography, making it far superior to the Ann Arbor Art Fair, and no matter where you went there was always a band playing somewhere. We even went into a dueling piano bar to get out of the sun, and that was...fun? The high was 85 and there was not a cloud in the sky. Being outside was pretty unbearable, until I thought about what it is like in Memphis, and then it didn't seem so bad.

Labor Day itself was relaxing, as we went to the pool, then made burgers and watched BSG. (PS - Happy Birthday Hillary!) All in all, a fun weekend, except for the football loss, the heat, the hangover (only 3 bottles - we have become lightweights), being sore from the 45 minute walk home from the game, and Carrie losing sleep from being nervous. But it was fun other than that!

Of Things Past

2008-08-28T21:22:00.001-07:00

While I was in Memphis, I went into the attic to find the box of my old Dean Koontz and Agatha Christie books. When I was a teenager, I used to go to Bookstar up on Winchester to buy one of those books once a week. I think I read everything Dean Koontz put out before 1992, and I tried to read every single Hercule Poirot book that Agatha Christie wrote (Miss Marple sucked). But, recently I borrowed a Koontz book from Chip and read it. It kind of sucked, but it sparked the urge to go back and read some of the old stuff again, just to see.

The first time I read Dean Koontz's Watchers, I considered it to be the best book I had ever read. Granted, it was the late 80s, I was not quite full on puberty yet and didn't have many other books under my belt to compare it to. Even after I read some good quality books in high school, the memory of how awesome Watchers was the first time I read it still put it at the top of my list. Recently I have been thinking, if I had to name my favorite books of all time, would Watchers still make the cut? Then, seeing a special 20th anniversary edition at Target really piqued my interest enough to seek it out when we were in Memphis this last time.

Well, I am about 3 quarters of the way done, and let's just say it no longer tops the list. It hasn't been for a while (that spot belongs to Frankenstein - really, the book works on so many levels, I could discuss it all day) and now it just kind of seems like all of Koontz's other books. You know, every person (or dog) in all his books have the same sense of humor, have some degree of smug conservatism, the characters are clear cut good or bad, etc. He is really good at the suspense part, but the reveal is never as spectacular as the buildup. So reading the book has been a good bit of nostalgia for me, but the nostalgia itself far outweighs the substance so far. I think just remembering how excited I was at this part of the book is more exciting than reading this part of the book now, if that makes sense. Koontz is now just escapism for me, something to read on a plane or on vacation, where not much is required of the reader.

Then, in the car the other day, I heard Just Like Paradise by David Lee Roth. Also for a time in the late 80s, this was my favorite song of all time. Really, Vai, Sheehan - good times. Then I hear it in the car, and there is this line that goes, "Suzie Suzie, girl, for cryin' out loud, you got all the right moves you make me eat my heart out nightly. And that's all right with me, yeah!" I mean, I always knew the lyric was there, but yikes! What disturbed me was that I associated that song with some level of transcendence, like with Dreams by Van Halen - same time frame, emotional song, good music, still holds up after all these years. But Just Like Paradise is just goofy - this song used to move me! I guess when you are 12, that is how the world works.

These are just extreme examples, but seriously in 1989, that was my favorite book ever and my favorite song ever, right there. Coming back to them now, well, it is comparable to finding out that the actress that helped you get through puberty is dating Tom Green now. I figured out long ago that Mr. Roboto was just goofy, but I was like 6 when I thought that song was awesome. At least Star Wars still kicks ass. Well, the original versions at least.

South Haven, MI

2008-08-25T20:57:00.001-07:00

Some notes from the weekend in South Haven at the beach:

- We went with Frank and Hillary, and Hillary's college friend Meg, and the guy that Meg has been dating, a guy named Hunter Kim. He has a last name for a first name and a first name for a last name.
- This is the third time this summer that we have been to the western part of the state, after not going once in the first 8 years here.
- When I was in high school, I had the live VCR tape of the Van Halen concert after 5150 came out, where they were in New Haven. Of course, Sammy Hagar said that he would call the town "New Halen" from now on. This is important only because for the last few months, I have been saying that we were going to South Halen, to the point that Carrie thought that was actually the name of the town. Private jokes aren't really funny when you are the only one in on the joke. Sorry about that.
- The beach on Lake Michigan is better than the ocean for several reasons: fresh water rather than salt water, no sharks, no jelly fish, very little fish at all really, no real seashells on the beach to step on, and it is all really close to where we live.
- I can handle sunburn most places on me except for the top of my head. I avoided any sunburn really this time. At least, I thought I had avoided it until I went to brush my hair.
- Really there are few things as mindlessly enjoyable than a game of catch. There have been many times in my life where this involved a baseball and some gloves, but this time it was a football. I need to work on my spiral for sure. But for some reason, Saturday night I was thinking the best part of the day was throwing the football on the beach.
- I played Rock Band for the first time ever. I wasn't as keen on the guitar as I was the drums. They need Drum Hero by itself so I can get that and slowly work my way up to Rush and Metallica's One on Expert level.
- I had a fantasy football draft that I did from the back porch of a coffee place called Cafe Julia, that took most of Saturday afternoon. The next time I go to the beach, I really don't want my day to revolve around that. Also, Andre Johnson and Kevin Smith need to have HUGE years.
- This year, I watched the Olympics in Memphis, Olive Branch, Ann Arbor, Grand Rapids, and South Haven. (Seriously, someone once ran the 5K in 12:37. That is asinine.)
- South Haven was a super cute town and we plan to spend more time there. It is much closer than Traverse City is, so the next time Mom comes to visit, we may have to take her out there.
- Oh, and if you get a mocha from a place called the South Bend Chocolate Company, chances are that it will be really chocolaty.

Back at work today, I was told that there was a place that was an old boat located behind all the stores on the waterfront in the bay or whatever (really, those were about the exact words used) that served a drink called South Haven Iced Tea, which is well known only because of the abbreviation. We totally must go next time. And we need to open a franchise down in Mississippi.

Veggies

2008-08-21T18:22:00.001-07:00

For Mom's birthday, I got her a book called In Defense of Food by Michael Pollan. With her permission, I read the book before I gave her the present, and it changed my life. Not in the dorky grad student "it changed my life" kind of way, but it just made me more aware of what I am eating and what I need to be eating. The basic thesis of the books is "Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants." It says to not eat anything that your grandmother wouldn't have eaten. Basically, only get stuff from the edges of the grocery store, not the stuff in the middle that is all processed and has a bunch of ingredients that you don't recognize, etc.

It makes the case that there are certain "western diseases" such as heart disease, diabetes, etc., that have come about from all the processed foods that we eat. Places in the world without all of our processed foods don't have the same rates of these diseases, and there is a reason. In order to prevent these diseases, we need to eat "whole foods". Not foods from Whole Foods per se, but actual fruits, vegetables, meats, dairy, etc., that exist the way that they did in nature. They have some balance of antioxidants and nutrients and vitamins that you can't get in foods that you buy frozen and precooked in the frozen food section.

Long story short (really, just read the book), we have decided to eat better. Make meals with real ingredients, not just eat frozen foods. This is important because we have been on Weight Watchers for so long, and have been eating a lot of frozen foods that are Smart Ones, or Boca. Now, I am not saying that those are the worst thing in the world (we did lose some weight), but now on I want to know what the things I put in my body are (that's what she said). So, per the rules in the book, we are reading labels: no foods with ingredients I can't pronounce, I have never heard of, or ones with high fructose corn syrup.

We are buying most of our groceries now at the farmer's market and at specialty stores, and it is really nice. We are cooking together, and having really awesome meals. Included in the awesome meals was this at Zingerman's the other night. Heirloom tomatoes all day! Fancy Zingerman's food! The most Ann Arbor crowd I have been around in a while! There was even a Chip-guy there who was photographing all the food, but wasn't like the official guy or anything. It was fancy and awesome. So many strappy sandals with jeans and such little makeup!

Last night we cut some corn off the cob and roasted it with onions and peppers and whatnot, and it was really fantastic. A very worthy meal for us to eat while we watched BSG. I don't know if the new diet will make us lose as much weight as the WW diet did, but I feel a little bit more piece of mind about what is going in my body (twss). Plus, we get to drink red wine every night!

Memphis Trip (in bullet points!)

2008-08-14T22:21:00.000-07:00

(Sorry I haven't been posting this month, but things have been hectic. Here goes!)

- From all the horror stories I have heard about mothers-in-law (especially from Chip and Carrie), I feel that I am fortunate that I only have to use 4 words in order to make mine laugh: "That's what she said."
- The post-wedding party went off without a hitch. It was great to see all of my extended family-in-law in one place, as well as my own immediate family. The food was great, the cake was great, and although the kids were everywhere, I actually had a good time with them all. We got to spend some quality time with Nathan, Chloe, and Christopher - all the youngests!
- I also got to see plenty of Gerald and Jerry, which was really nice. I have had almost exclusively women in my family, so I welcome some dudes into the mix.
- I find it amusing that for the entire relationship, Carrie and I have slept in the same bed at the Stanfills, but the first time we show up as a married couple, we get the twin beds.
- Balmoral. Well, I have too much to say here that I may have to give it its own blog post, but let's just say that the next time Carrie and I are in town, we may just go even if no one else can make it, including Mom. It was just heartwarming to see so many well-wishers and friends in one place. Then, Carrie wanted to talk to me about the sermon on the way home!
- Connor. That boy can run me ragged. There is nothing better than walking into the Chockleys and having him come running up to give me a big hug! Even if it happened at Mom's this time.
- Di. I feel I reconnected with him for the first time in a while, and now I really want to make it out to DC. We picked up right where we left off. Good times! It was good to hang out, if only for a little bit.
- The Olympics. 4 years ago, they were on when we were in Florida with the Stanfills, so it was funny to be watching the games with them again. Also, on that Sunday night, just sitting around watching the games with Mom and Steph and Chip and Carrie really got me talking for some reason - I think we need to watch TV sometimes with the phone on speaker so I have more of an audience than just Carrie. She has heard all my good material. What little there is.
- Strangely enough, Carrie and I were both nervous to tell Steph and Chip that we aren't really big fans of the Flight of the Conchords. I want to like them, and I am sure I will try again, and I can see why people would like them and all, but I am just not a big fan of musical comedy. I am not faulting you if you are though!!! It is just subjective. They aren't objectively awesome, like, say, the Arcade Fire.
- Speaking of the Arcade Fire, big thanks to Mark and Tiff for the DVD of wedding pictures. That was really sweet. (Please save any and all of the photos for us though! Even if they are times when your cameras accidentally went off, we want those too!!!)
- I found my box of all my Dean Koontz and Agatha Christie books in the attic. I didn't bring them up when I moved up here, because what if someone from the History program came over and saw them? I would lose all credibility!
- I didn't wake up with any explosive diarrhea and projectile vomiting like the last time I was in town, so we were able to make it home on time. TMI, I am sure, but I am just keeping it real. I was actually somewhat apprehensive about eating anything this trip for fear of it coming back. Plus, we made good time on the way home, so that was nice. Whatever.

Overall, it was a nice trip. No unnecessary drama, because maybe there just wasn't enough time. Again, the drive sucks, but what can you do. Maybe if we keep these trips to just a few days, we will start liking you all again. (Just kidding!)

#31 - July was Fun

2008-07-31T22:25:00.000-07:00

Well, the blog experiment went well. I will work to post 2-3 times a week at least. It will be easier to do it that way, so I can be more selective about the subjects. I hope you guys had fun reading my inane thoughts and looking at wedding pictures!

#30 - More Wedding Pics

2008-07-31T22:19:00.000-07:00

I got about 250 more wedding photos from a guy I work with, so I figured I would post a couple here that I liked.

#29 - Be Careful Washing These Clothes...

2008-07-31T22:16:00.000-07:00

#28 - Detroit Music

2008-07-31T20:44:00.000-07:00

While there are many aspects about living in Michigan that I love, one of the things that bothers me is the amount of musicians that I hate who come from around here. I mean, Detroit is Motown, so we've got that going for us. However, most of the radio stations I listen to don't play Motown. The Detroit acts I hear are ones that I hated when I first heard them. But because they are from around these parts, the radio stations play them all the damn time! For instance:

Kid Rock - seriously, this Sweet Home Alabama/Werewolves of London mash-up - really, do you like it that much, people? I mean, the Bawitdaba, or whatever it was called, had its moments, but you just knew he was peaking with that. Then he gives us "I know it stinks in here, 'cause I'm the s***" debacle, the thing with Sheryl Crowe where they do that weird computer thing with his voice, and heaven forbid the "Cowboy Baybay" POS. Now, I hear this Sweet Home Alabama All Summer Long song at least twice a day, and I spend maybe 20 minutes listening to the radio every day. I get it - he is a hometown boy, and people seem to like his stuff. Carrie even has friends who find him attractive. (Seriously?) But it just isn't my cup of tea. Yet I have to hear it all the damn time!

Eminem - well, I really liked Lose Yourself. And that's about it. I haven't really listened to his albums, but Stan was a debacle, the cleaning out my closet song was actually really bad, and all his catchy stuff for the radio plays like pop to me. I don't get the appeal, but really I do like the one song by him. I just don't care to listen to him bitch about his mom and his wife and his kid and his uncle or something or whatever - I get it, things sucked. But when someone writes a book about a tragedy in their life, they don't keep harping on the same shit on every subsequent book! Do more stuff like Lose Yourself! No more of this "nowadays everybody wants to talk" stuff. But, needless to say every channel loves him up here. Even the one that proudly boasts that they don't play rap.

Ted Nugent - really, no respect on a personal level for this guy. I mean, have your political beliefs and all, but don't say stupid shit. Have some sort of class and intelligence when voicing yourself politically, don't just be closed minded and freaky. As for his music, well, if the radio stations played the Damn Yankees, then we would be good. Seriously - he is great on Come Again. But the one Ted Nugent song that they play on the radio that I hear at least once a week is this gawd awful "Fred Bear". Apparently this is a real guy, not just some bear, and he is a personal friend of Nugent, so I can respect that. But I am just not a fan of the song. I wonder if I would like it if I didn't hear it all the time, but whatever. I just can't stand the guy.

Bob Seger - OK - this is the toughest. Seriously, dude went to Pioneer High School here in Ann Arbor. Down on Main Street is a song about Main Street Ann Arbor. He is my hometown. Yet, when I was growing up, I always joked that I tried to live in a Seger-free zone, because I hated his stuff. So I am torn here, because I have such a degree of civic pride here in A2 that I have never had anywhere else, so when someone sings about my town - I don't know. I am just saying, why couldn't Radiohead be from Ann Arbor?

Hey - at least we have Detroit Rock City and Motown and Jack White to fall back on. I am probably forgetting someone significant, but whatever - it just seems like every musician that I hate ends up being from around here. Whatever - the sample size is too small. Yeah, that's it.

#27 - Who are these people?

2008-07-30T21:20:00.001-07:00

#26 - Upward Angles

2008-07-30T21:16:00.001-07:00

#25 - Michigan Football

2008-07-30T20:41:00.000-07:00

This season, I am more excited about Michigan football than I have for any other season so far. I think it is the fact that we are about to begin a new era in Michigan football history - the Rich Rod era. We totally stole him from WVU, and I couldn't be any more excited. He has this guy as his strength and conditioning coach named Mike Barwis, who is insane. He is a former UFC type of guy who has a masters degree in something to do with being in shape. While Michigan may not have the talent this year, we will have the most athletic team in the Big Ten, and will be competitive every week.

The thing is, it has been a really rough year for Michigan football. Coming off of our loss to osu and our bowl loss in 2006, expectations were high for last season. Then, the Appalachian State debacle happened, which I have talked about before. Then Oregon destroyed us the weekend after that. Then we had a decent run up until we lost to osu again. But hey - we beat Florida in the bowl game, which we all knew would be Lloyd Carr's last game.

Then we tried to replace Lloyd. So many candidates - the Les Miles debacle, our play for Iowa's head coach, then we land Rich Rodriguez from West Virginia. And then it begins - you would think that he went on a killing spree before he left - all the West Virginia hate. He gets shit for trying to grab Pryor, who eventually signs with osu. Then we lose Mallett to Arkansas, and we have no QB. Then we lose some offensive lineman to osu (WTF?) - this guy is a douche though. He is a legacy and he quit the minute he had to run wind sprints. Riddance, I say. But now, we have neither a QB nor an offensive line.

Then we steal a recruit from Purdue and their head coach rips on Rich Rod. Calls him "a guy in a wizard hat selling snake oil." Then Rich Rod gives the number 1 jersey to a non-wide receiver, which is apparently a big no-no since there is a scholarship for wide receivers who wear that jersey. Then there was the lawsuit from West Virginia to get the money Coach Rod owes them.

Wait - is that all? That was the last 12 months of the history of the proudest college football tradition in the nation. It has been a disaster, but still - with the new conditioning program and the enthusiasm, it just all sounds like what it was when Bo took over. He came in and everyone was wary of the outsider, and he had a strict regimen of conditioning that made a bunch of players quit. There are parallels, and I am excited about the new era. So August 30th can't come soon enough! Bring on Utah!!!

#24 - No Idea What's Going On Here

2008-07-29T22:21:00.001-07:00

...but it looks like fun!

#23 - Wasn't the Food at the Wedding Awesome?

2008-07-29T22:13:00.000-07:00

#22 - Arcade Fire on SNL

2008-07-29T21:52:00.000-07:00

So, the Arcade Fire is one of my favorite bands, and "Intervention" is not only my favorite song by them, but also maybe my favorite song ever. This weekend, the replay of SNL was the one where they perform the song, and I have to go on record - it might be my favorite performance of all time. (I would link to it, but it isn't on hulu or youtube.) Really, a couple of bars in and my eyes welled up a little. Arcade Fire is the only band that can produce this emotion out of me consistently.

Once, when we went to a Cowboy Junkies concert, someone in the crowd yelled out "Sweet Jane". Margo explained that they don't perform the song anymore because they have played it so much so often that it lost that initial meaning that it had for the band. I always wondered that about musicians - can you play one of your hits so many times that it loses that fire and emotion that it had the first time it was written? Does Eric Clapton still cry every time he plays "Tears in Heaven"? Was Rage Against the Machine still pissed the 8000 time they played "Freedom"?

But the SNL performance is great to me because it was before the album even came out. Win Butler hadn't had that chance to play "Intervention" so many times that he didn't still get pissed off so bad when he plays it. *Quick side note here - the song gets me all riled up too. And I don't know why - I don't fully understand the lyrics. I like to think they are anti-war, anti-Bush, against the hypocrisy of going to war for religion, etc. But, you can see the anger on his face as he starts the song, and the song is really beautiful, and you can just feel the emotion involved while they play the song.

The end of the performance on SNL though - Butler fully breaks a string on his guitar, and he is so agitated that he just rips the other strings off his guitar before slamming it into the ground. I remember when it first came out, that people called it a poser move and all, but really, when I watch it, I just think he is so angry by the song and the music that it is all he can do. So I can't really say anything bad about it.

Now, I know that they aren't the favorite band of everyone who reads this blog, but I just had to go on record - the performance moved me so much the other night that I just had to reaffirm my love for those guys. To see a band I love so much, playing such an emotional song so early on in the life of the song - good stuff.

#21 - Bachelor Party

2008-07-27T09:58:00.001-07:00

So, I went to a bachelor party on Friday night. The next day, Carrie wants to know all the good stories and all that. Here's the thing - I just think most of the people I know are too old to be too wild anymore. No real stories to tell, but I did have a really great time. My favorite story involves being at a strip club and going to the bar and ordering 2 Coronas and a Beam and coke, and the bartender saying, "That'll be $25." Dude!

I think that it was funny that there was such a standard bunch of guys there. We had the bachelor, the wild guy (he told stories of 2 guys with machine guns at a club in Mexico), the really good looking guy, the newlywed (me!), the guy who openly hates everyone but somehow in a likable way, the guy who sees the whole thing as ironic, and the guy who kept telling stories about his kid. I only knew half the guys, but it was still a fun time. We stayed at the Renaissance Center Marriott, went to some pizza place in Greektown, then a bar called Jacoby's where there were Jagermeister reps handing out schwag, then the strip club where a round of drinks and a couple of more beers for me almost cleaned out my bank account (dude!), then Greektown casino, where I put $10 on 11 and $10 on 21, only to have 2 come up. Note to self - only go to the casinos with Cullen.

Really though, it just reminded me of my own bachelor party weekend. The homeless guy who stepped out into traffic to stop cars for us so that we could cross the street, the hockey game with free food and drinks in the box seats, my singing the entirety of "Don't Stop Believin'" on Carrie's voicemail, Cullen's losing both his wedding ring and some chucks, the Memphis/MSU game and people throwing stuff at our table, Frank standing on a table (completely sober too), American Psycho, and other stuff I don't want to mention. Really - I think that going forward, Carrie and I should not only celebrate our wedding anniversary, but also we should celebrate the anniversary of our bachelor/bachelorette parties. Cullen and Chip - next year, the last weekend in March - get plane tickets now. Bring Jay and Di.

#20 - The Library

2008-07-25T12:29:00.000-07:00

Anyone who knows me well or has even just been over to my apartment knows that I am a collector. I have way too many books, DVDs, CDs, bottles of wine, baseball cards, kitchen gadgets, etc. This explains most of the balances that I might have on any credit cards. It is a habit that I have been able to beat most of the time, due to the fact that we don't have as much money to spend on stuff like that. That, and I made myself aware of the whole psychology of buying things to make you feel better, and I came to terms with that.

Now, if I want a CD, I usually try to obtain it in an mp3 format rather than buying the whole CD, unless it is a band that I really like and want to support. I don't but as many DVDs anymore, only because I realized that I rarely watch the ones I do own, and many of my favorite TV shows are available in syndication or online. Baseball cards - well, I just don't have the patience or the disposable income that I used to have. Kitchen gadgets - people bought us enough of those for the wedding (except for the 10 inch chef's knife, which really would just be superfluous anyway). As for the wines, well, our collection is dwindling a little bit because we are starting to drink some of the ones that we have been cellaring.

That just leaves books as my biggest vice in terms of unnecessary money spent for something to sit around the apartment and collect dust. It doesn't help that I have a ridiculous amount of books from grad school already, but any time I want a book I usually just went to Borders. And why not? We live in the town that invented Borders, and then they put one about 200 yards from my front door. We get coupons weekly via email. Buying too many books isn't a new thing either - when I was younger, I had a quest to get all the Hardy Boys books. When I was in elementary school, I even started to catalog the books I owned in a card catalog type system, because I was a sad lonely nerd.

In the same way that the internet has halted my CD and DVD buying ways, the library card we got a couple of months back has done the same for my book purchasing. It is awesome - especially for some crappy Dean Koontz books that I can read in a week, I can just check them out and return them. They even have DVDs at the library, but I haven't made it that far yet. But it is all free, it is something that has been there forever, and I took advantage when I was at the university, but I just didn't anymore. It is so simple that it is stupid that it took me this long to get the library card.

Here is my one problem with the library, and I don't mean the creepy-ass people who go to the library - I sort of, in a really strange way, fetishize the books. For instance, I never crack the spine, and try not to bend the corners of the cover in any way. If it is a hard cover book with a jacket, I tend to take off the jacket of the book as to not scuff or bend it. I spilled a little wine on our Wine Bible recently, and considered just buying a new one even though the copy was still completely usable. I am usually hesitant to lend out my books - it is all strange and OCD, you get the point. Well, the library books are usually pretty grungy. Like, who has sneezed on the cover of this thing? What nasty floor did it rest on? What is the fleck on dirt between these pages - is it a booger? I don't know - I try not to think about these things, but I am happy when the book I check out is newer looking.

Also, renting a book is like renting a movie, but the movie takes so much less time to watch. I have one book that I have renewed 5 times but not yet returned because I am not reading it cover to cover. It is more of a reference style book on wines with a bunch of essays. Normally, having a set amount of time to read a book would bother me, but now you can renew your books online without ever having to go up to the library. The whole system is perfect. I mean, except for the germy covers.

Quick note on this - we were in Meijer about a month before we got the library card, and I put a copy of Michael Crichton's Next in the basket. Carrie made the point that it was the type of book I should just get a library card and check out, so I put the book back. Well, when we got the card, the first book I checked out was Next, and after I read about a third of it, I realized that the book was terrible. Like, something happened involving some parrot talking to a woman followed up by some guy rescuing a money-man hybrid made from his own DNA that they started to dress up like a kid. No seriously, it was that bad. And I usually like the Crichton, but this was terrible. I am glad I kept the $8 that day at Meijer.

#19 - Nice Rack

2008-07-23T17:53:00.000-07:00

Seriously - MINUTES after we are wed, you can already tell what I am thinking. In my defense, at least I was checking out my own wife and no one else. Also, I mean, we never had sex before marriage - please. (Hi Jerry and Jan!)

Notice that Gerald sees what I am doing here, but he can't say anything. I finally married her!

#18 - Coldplay is Not Gay

2008-07-22T21:03:00.000-07:00

So, I am here to reclaim Coldplay. When The 40 Year Old Virgin came out, there was a scene where Seth Rogan says to Paul Rudd, "You know how I know you're gay? You like Coldplay." At the time, there was an audible groan in the theater - all the guys liked Coldplay, but suddenly it was something "gay", less manly. Coldplay is still popular and sells tons of albums and all, but it is different now.

I think this is probably what happened to men and quiche back in the 80s. Suddenly, something was stigmatized as having a quality that was somehow emasculating, so it was to be shunned by men. Coldplay, well, it was the same way after that movie came out. We all kinda liked "Yellow", then we liked "In My Place", loved "Clocks" and then were moved by the video for "The Scientist". But we couldn't really mention it because of the stigma. We listened to Clocks when it was everywhere, but claimed that we liked it somehow ironically, like it was Barry Manilow, or Journey or something. It is hard to explain - Journey rocks and all, but there is something undeniably cheesy about it. I think that has happened to Coldplay, instead of just saying that their music is really good. (OK - I actually would love to make the same argument about Journey! They are awesome, and not in some camp, cheesy, ironic way! Shut up.)

The last album started off great - Speed of Sound is maybe my favorite song by them. It is quality stuff, even if they have started this genre of music where bands use things like cymbals, really high notes on the synthesizer, or strings in order to sound "big". But the rest of the album was lacking somewhat, except for Fix You. But the new album - I have only heard this new song about the revolutions and the kinds and Jerusalem bells ringing, but I love it, and I don't want to be ashamed anymore. (Seriously - the album cover is Delacroix's Liberty Leading the People. I knew that without having to look it up - I have 2 degrees on stuff like that. It is like they are actively trying to get me to like them at this point.) I was really feeling that I could come forward and not call them a guilty pleasure or anything, and just say that I like them with no repercussions.

Then I see this preview for Bones (love that show, btw), and they bring up the whole Coldplay is gay joke again! Seriously - I have gay friends, and Coldplay is not a large part of their culture. I would guess that similar percentages of gay and straight males are fans of the band. I know dude named his daughter Apple or something, but still. Coldplay is not gay. Guys - it is cool. You can listen to Coldplay, and people shouldn't question your sexuality. If you want to call us gay, do it because I call my sister after Friday Night Lights to discuss Tim Riggins, or because my best man has a guy crush on Justin Timberlake, or because one of my other groomsmen liked Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, not because we like Coldplay!

#17 - Sports Pain

2008-07-22T15:52:00.000-07:00

So this week the ESPYs were on ESPN, hosted by Justin Timberlake. He actually did a pretty good job, but really, all the show did was to open up some old wounds for me. It is crazy to think, but the last 12 months have seen 2 of the worst defeats I have ever had as a sports fan. This doesn't even include the Super Bowl! Really - the Super Bowl this year - I mean, I know that apparently we all see the Patriots now as the big bad guys, even though I never got the memo, and we are supposed to root against them. But to me, they were led by a Michigan QB and a Marshall WR. How can I hate that? Plus, it would have been the only time ever that a team has gone undefeated - we didn't get that either. Very disappointing. But not as bad as the other 2 losses.

Having TLake host the show was nice because I was able to live vicariously through his pain about the Memphis loss to Kansas. Seriously - when that game happened, Frank was over here watching it, after when we lost and Frank left, I closed the front door, went into the computer room and closed that door, locked it, and just sat there. It was too much - our team came as close to winning it all as possible, and fell just short. It reminded me of the Titans in the Super Bowl - so close! But really, it just all sucked, and who knows when we will get back. But still - it felt nice to see TLake ripping on Kansas and voicing our disappointment in the opening monologue.

But then, the first award of the evening - seriously, it was for the biggest upset. Suddenly, there is the Big House, Michigan, Appy State, yadda yadda, all on screen. I mean, it still pisses me off. It was the opposite of the Memphis game - imagine waiting all year long, after your team came so close to going undefeated last season, to see them try again for a national championship, and then to lose it ON THE FIRST DAY OF THE SEASON!! When it was over, I went into the bedroom and just laid back on the bed and stared at the ceiling. Carrie came in and rubbed my arm because she knew it was bad, but I just couldn't explain it. It was all over, just like that. Luckily, Tiffany was in town visiting, so it wasn't the worst day of my life or anything, but still. I have waited since that day for the new season to start - this time I don't have the same expectations, but still.

So, the ESPYs kind of sucked because I had to relive those crappy games. At least I will always have the Red Wings!!!

#16 - My Boys and My Girls

2008-07-21T21:33:00.000-07:00

#15 - 5 Foot Radius

2008-07-18T15:17:00.001-07:00

OK, this photo still makes me nervous, even though nothing was spilled. I am happy that we got a photo of Carrie with Tiffany and all, but that red wine is just too close to the dress - I still cringe when I look at it! Like, someone is going to come and accidentally bump into Tiffany's arm!

There was supposed to be a 5 foot radius around Carrie at all times where no one had any red wine. Then again, it isn't like she is going to wear that dress again, I hope...

#14 - Dirty Sanchez?

2008-07-17T16:34:00.001-07:00

#13 - Should I look at the camera on the way out?

2008-07-17T16:30:00.000-07:00

#12 - Weekend Wine Game

2008-07-17T15:42:00.000-07:00

OK, I have been slacking this week. I want to tell you guys about this weekend's wine game, but really it is just an excuse to post this picture of Carrie. (The wine game - where I pour the wine and Carrie has to guess what wine it is.)

The first wine we had was an Alsatian Pinot Gris, because it is our favorite style of wine at this point. Surprisingly, it only got an 82 from WS, because it wasn't that bad. Carrie thought about it, and nailed it. Very impressive.

Wine #2 was a bottle of Italian Pinot Grigio that we already had, that Carrie bought because she swears that we had it and loved it when we had it before. We actually opened both wines at the same time - we drank the Alsatian first because we actually liked it. This one - not so much. Probably a different vintage or she just had the name of the wine wrong. But, the very first thing she said when she had it was, "well this isn't the Italian". So she was 1 for 2 at this point.

Third bottle - red, Bordeaux. The 2005 Chateau du Moulin Rouge. It was just so so, but it was a 2005, and it rang up about $5 less than the price, so I felt good about it. Carrie - totally guessed that it was a Bordeaux. 2 for 3!

Last bottle - please keep in mind that this was from about 6:00 in the evening until 3:00 in the morning. We are bad, but not that bad. Well, I grabbed the newest Seghesio Zinfandel, 2006 maybe? Carrie thought it was the Thorn Clarke. So kind of close.

But still - 2 for 4! She is back in the game! Also - that is maybe my favorite picture of Carrie ever.

#11 - Giant Cullen

2008-07-14T16:04:00.000-07:00

#10 - The Millfill Immediate Family

2008-07-14T15:53:00.000-07:00

#9 DragonForce

2008-07-12T13:42:00.000-07:00

Ok, so in case you haven't ever heard this song or seen the video, HERE. Apparently this song is the expert level of Guitar Hero 2 or something. But still, please take 5 minutes to enjoy, and let me talk about it.

OK - had this song come out in 1991, it would TO THIS DAY be the greatest song that has ever happened. I think now that if my mom were to hear this song right now, she would insist that I used to play this every time she drove carpool and that Jim and I used to try to play this on guitar. All of my high school friends would meet every year and have a party to commemorate the first time we heard this song. It would have been the #1 song on Dial MTV for more weeks than Metallica's One and Bon Jovi's Living on a Prayer combined. George Bush Sr. would have been elected to a second term based solely on the fact that it came out during his presidency. Peace in the Middle East - you get the point.

Instead, it comes out some 15 years after when it would have worked. But still, so much to love about this song and video. First of all, the lyrics. It seems like a poem that someone wrote during smoke breaks at a Dungeons and Dragons tournament taking place at a Renaissance Fair. Really - the guys from Iron Maiden heard this song and were like, how come we never wrote this?

Also, the guys in the band - the lead singer totally looks like Weird Al. Then, the Asian guitar player - his lack of emotion and soul makes Paul Gilbert blush. But his hair! Holy crap, his hair! It goes to his waist and it looks like it is so soft that it would make silk feel like sandpaper by comparison. It makes Crystal Gayle want to move somewhere more humid just so she can keep up. Then, the other guitarist, who obviously isn't as fast as the hair guitar - he could easily be the lead guitarist for any other band, but has to play second fiddle to Speedy McGee. It has driven him to drink!

That leads us into the guitar solo. What can I say? Please, if you started to watch it and stopped, go back to 3:22 of the video and just enjoy. Every metal band should be forced to go to a 2 guitar system like this - bring in the one guy to spell the other. I am convinced that this video led to most NFL teams going to a 2 running back system in their offense. Genius. I mean, the hair guitar guy - he is totally coming at the fretboard from the top down at times when he doesn't have to, just to show off. He isn't even hitting every note, but at that speed, who cares? When he needs a break, cool beer drinking second guy comes in. I hope first round pick Rashard Mendenhall is able to work this well with Willie Parker in Pittsburgh next season. Plus, the way they just single out the guitarists during the solo with closeups of their hands - brilliant. I really feel like I am watching something special here.

A couple of "cool" moments to watch for during the video - close up of Weird Al's eyes at the beginning, which is just goofy; when hair guitar picks up his guitar with the whammy bar, a la Steve Vai; do a shot every time someone wipes the hair out of their face - just try it; then all the random slow-motion clips, the lighting, the "directing" including random camera shakes when the song is kicking ass. Seriously - are they joking? Is this parody or some sort of satire even?

So yeah, this is totally a guilty pleasure for me. Really, the whole thing is surreal - is this really happening? Did this video really come out in 2006? It isn't even like The Darkness - there is no sign that this band is in on the joke. Which makes it more awesome.

Sometimes I think that corporations control music, and that sometimes we go away from trends in music prematurely just to fit some sort of agenda or something. For instance, was anyone really ready for grunge to end? Did the grunge era even last 5 full years? But then think - how many of the top 50 songs of your lifetime come from the grunge era? Was music really only that good for 5 years, or did economic prosperity of the 90s lead us away from the angst which defined grunge? Come back, grunge!!!!

Then there is this song - were we really ready for hair bands to go away completely? I mean, I see Sebastian Bach on Gilmore Girls, Brett Michaels has his own TV show, CC Deville is on the Surreal Life - it didn't need to go away. Sometimes, we need a band to come along to show us that we still love this crap - that is what this video is for me. Hair bands rule!!!

#8 - Raccoon Showdown

2008-07-11T23:41:00.000-07:00

So, tonight I am taking out the garbage in order to get the apartment all clean for when Carrie gets home tomorrow. Sadly, we are still throwing out boxes from the big wedding extravaganza. Plus, I have 3 full bags of trash to throw out. See, this goes back to apartment living - the trashcan is a little bit of a walk, so we usually make sure we have a full load before we take out the trash. Kind of the same way that we get the mail every other day, because that is a long walk to make, and if you go get the mail and it is just some junk mail flyer from that State Farm guy again, well it just pisses you off. That, and we are just lazy, lazy people.

Back to the story - I grab a couple of boxes and go to the dumpsters. Normally, I go to the second one because the first one fills up quickly. However, tonight it was like whatever, I just opened the top and threw the boxes in the closest one and went back for part 2. Once I get back into the apartment, I just decide to take the other boxes and all 3 trash bags, because I don't want to make 2 more trips (the lazy thing again). So, I am walking out to the trash with 3 bags in my left hand, and 3 or 4 boxes stacked up in both hands. The long walk start to irritate me, because it is all getting heavier, so I just have my head down, trying to ignore the strain.

Well, I look up at the dumpster, and suddenly the hood pops up and a pair of eyes is staring at me. It comes out about halfway, and I was like, oh crap - it's a raccoon. I was only about 10 feet away, so I immediately retreated to get some sort of distance. But I'll be damned if I am going to take all this trash back up to the apartment. I decided to wait until he left - I mean, animals will run away, right? Squirrels do it, why not raccoons? But he just stares at me, halfway in and out of the dumpster. It occurs to me - this sucker was more than likely in there just a second ago when I threw away those other boxes. Great - I will never ever be able to throw stuff away in that dumpster without thinking that I will be viciously attacked the moment I open the hood.

Then another thought occurs to me - I have absolutely no idea if raccoons will attack humans. Am I really in danger right now of that thing charging me? Is this one of those things where I shouldn't be making eye contact? We really are having a staring contest right now, should I be running instead? I am sure raccoons will protect themselves if provoked, so I don't want to provoke. Luckily, I have some distance to react just in case he does decide to charge me or anything. (I did set the trash down, btw.) Then, he crawls out of the dumpster (hopefully no one is offended by my assumption that it was a male raccoon - it could have been female, whatever) and turns and climbs up the top of the dumpster. That is when I realize that this frickin' thing has to weigh 30 pounds at least. Dude was huge. Then, he just sits down on the top of the dumpster, and turns and just stares at me again. I guess he was just protecting himself, but the act of sitting on top and staring at me was like, "your move, punk." So I grabbed a couple of rocks, thinking that maybe I can throw them in his general direction and scare him off. Seriously - I really just want to throw away the trash, I'm not looking for a trip to the emergency room for a rabies shot or anything.

Then he gets up and walks to the back of the dumpster, jumps to the fence, and jumps down behind the two dumpsters. Well played - I have no idea where he is, and I'll be damned if I am gonna walk up if I can't see him. I walk around to see if he is coming out the other side, then I walk back to where I had been standing - and he is standing there in front of the dumpster, a little bit closer than before, just staring at me! I was like, I'm gonna back up some more now. Then - he left. Finally. But dude - that thing in motion - that was a ginormous raccoon. He slowly made his way across the far sidewalk, and I am thinking, what if someone walks out of their apartment right now and sees this thing? That would make me jump 10 feet off of Beale if I opened the door to walk to my car and saw that thing crossing my path.

But, he is gone now - I can finally complete the simple task of throwing out the trash...when I heard some rattling coming from inside the dumpster! WTF? It was daylight! Why all the raccoons? I throw one of the rocks and hit the dumpster - will the rattle make the new raccoon run off? Apparently not. So I say to hell with it, and walk all the way over to the other dumpsters at our apartment complex, the ones that are a ways away. You know, over by all the birds that hate me and are swarming in mass numbers tonight...

Post script - after I made it back, I decided to go see if the other raccoon ever made an appearance. I picked up a rock , just in case - again, trying to avoid the rabies at this point. But she was there in the parking lot, just as plain as day (this one can be a she). She was not nearly as big as the first dude, but still.

From now on, the simple task of taking out the trash will come with some form of trepidation on my part. Great. Hopefully no nightmares of opening up the trash can and getting my face attacked like the movie Alien or whatever.

Wow - that was a lot of typing for such an insignificant moment in my life!

#7 - My Season Pass List

2008-07-09T21:24:00.001-07:00

Just for fun, here are some of the shows on my season pass list on TiVo that you might be surprised that I watch, or ones that you should be watching too. (Yes, I know that I need to rent The Wire, BSG, and Mad Men).

Supernatural - Yes, I love Sam and Dean. Not necessarily a show that everyone would enjoy, but I have it in my top 10 on TiVo. And now you know.
Reaper - Just getting Carrie into this show. I mean, it's not Lost or anything, but it is fun, and the cast is great. Also, the chick on the show is way too hot to be working at Lowe's.
Bones - Seriously, I won't be happy until Booth and Brennan end up together. The cast is great here as well. I say to give it a chance, although they got rid of one of the best cast members last season for no real reason.
Subterranean - MTV2 show that makes me feel like I am somewhat caught up on the indie music scene. Hey - this is where I found Band of Horses, Silversun Pickups, Peter Bjorn and John, and the Yeah Yeah Yeahs.
Terminator: Sarah Connor Chronicles - Yeah, everyone should put this on their season pass list for the fall. Really awesome show, adds a lot to the Terminator fiction. The chicks are hot too.
The Daily Show/Colbert Report - There is no reason why everyone doesn't watch these shows. TDS is still better, but Colbert is crazier.
Gossip Girl - Really one of the best shows that you're not watching. Cullen's got my back here - it isn't a chick show. I think TWOP graded most of the episodes as an A+.
Family Guy/American Dad - Yeah, I still love this stuff. It isn't for everybody.
Top Chef - Seriously, if you enjoy fancy food in the least, you should watch this show. Period. It is the best show out there for foodies like myself.
Saturday Night Live - OK, we still tape this show and watch it drunk. It has about 15 good minutes a month, but it is still fun. If it is funny, it will be on collegehumor.com the next day. If it is a really bad sketch, you can just fast forward. Too many repeats during the season though.
Nova/Frontline - PBS bitches. Frontline is the last bastion of great journalism, and Nova is just fun for the science geek in me. You can cherry pick which ones you want to watch - really, Nova had like a 3 week thing on the history of ice this year. I mean, it was great, but really - ice. One week it can be a so-so history of fireworks, but then the next it can be an enthralling story of people trapped on Mt. Everest, or an incredible telling of the battle to teach evolution in public schools. (Whoops - I guess you Memphis folk couldn't have watched that one if you wanted to.)
30 Days - Still a good show, and we pause it to discuss many times when we watch it. Good stuff if you want more than just mindless entertainment.
Psych - I love this show, but probably not for everyone. Tiffany and Mark are literally the only other people I know who watch this show.
South Park - It disgusts me that you guys don't still watch this show. The quality never dipped.
Survivor - Still awesome, though not always as good as season 1. But sometimes it is even better.
Eli Stone - Again, we love the cast and would recommend the show. Although, the chick he will end up with is super annoying.
Chuck - Please watch this show. Adam Baldwin, bitches.

The sad part about this list is that it isn't even half of our season pass list. Then again, we do have our own shows that we don't watch together - notice I left The Real World, Beauty and the Geek, and Lipstick Jungle off this list - the shows on here are ones that I watch. I am always open to suggestions though.

#6 - Life on Mars

2008-07-09T20:25:00.000-07:00

This fall, one of the new TV shows will be Life on Mars, which is a remake of a British TV series. It is about a guy who is a cop and gets hit by a car and wakes up in 1973, and you don't know if it is a dream that he is having while in a coma, if he has really gone back in time, or if he is crazy and has been in 1973 the whole time. British shows have been remade into US shows before, with The Office for instance. This one is unique for me because I actually watched the British version before it was remade. Really, Life on Mars and MI-5 are about the only two British shows that I have ever watched around the time they originally aired. But it makes me feel cool, especially because I absolutely loved the show. However, that is what worries me too.

See, when The Office had its American version, I hadn't seen an episode of the British version (and still haven't!), so I was able to judge the US version on its own merits. I read a lot about how it wasn't as good as the original - Steve Carell was no Ricky Gervais, and the British version had a finite number of episodes to tell their story. I was ready to defend the US version though - I thought it was great, and I loved the cast.

This time, I am worried that I will be one of those people who don't judge the show on its own merits, because I am married to the British version. Really, I can't imagine falling in love with the cast and the story the way I did with the British show - the guy who played the lead character Sam Tyler was awesome, as was the guy who played Gene Hunt. The chemistry was just good stuff, everyone got along. The female lead was cute but not drop dead gorgeous or anything. Plus, for some reason on the BBC, they can just say "shit" whenever they want and not get bleeped. There was even nudity!

With the American version, I am already wary of the guy playing the lead. The guy who plays Hunt seems like a good casting decision, but the female lead looks to be really hot, which for the first time ever seems like a negative to me. Like, that was part of her appeal was that she looked normal, not "Hollywood". Then, Christopher Moltisanti was just added to the cast. Now, that almost seems to work for the character he is playing, but it is someone I will be familiar with, which just makes me seem apprehensive.

Also, the British version had 16 episodes. Total. It was enough time for the characters to develop their awesome chemistry, but also just enough time to tell the story. The last 2 episodes wrapped up the series perfectly. It was all a neat package, and I worry that the US version will lack that neatness. I am trying to go into it without any preconceived notions. But it will be difficult - like hearing a remake of a song, you always compare it to the original.

Then again, the advantage of being on American TV will be that there will be potentially SO many episodes. When Life on Mars ended, I really wanted more. I wanted to see more of DCI Tyler and the "Guv" and Annie and the whole crew. I liked the locations - 1973 just seemed so real in Manchester. I hope the US version will pull it off - we'll see. It is going on the TiVo season pass list for sure. Just don't be surprised if I am that annoying guy who says that the original was much better.

PS - I know I should watch the British Office, as well as Torchwood and Dr. Who and all. Maybe down the line.

#5 - Waitmares

2008-07-08T21:56:00.000-07:00

So, the holiday weekend, along with Carrie leaving for Memphis, has caused me to fall behind on my blog post goal for July. But fear not - I am home alone for the next few days, so I will get right on track after a short post tonight.

The other night, I had a waitmare. For those of you who have never waited tables, a waitmare is when you have a nightmare about your job as a server. In this one for instance, I kept getting sat, and the ice machine was out of ice. This dream took place at some dreamland-modified version of Brooklyn Bridge, which is weird since I haven't worked there since the 90s. However, at one point, I turned around and my section was entirely sat, which was somewhere between 15-20 tables. This was the breaking point in the dream where I stopped caring and woke myself up. It is weird - now that I don't wait tables anymore, I have trained myself to get out of those dreams when I have them. I just thought it was weird that I had a waitmare after 5 years off from waiting tables.

The only other recurring nightmare I have involves college, and finding out that I have a final exam in a class that I have been skipping all semester because I thought I dropped it. Almost inevitably, the class is a math class, which is weird since I majored in and went to grad school for a completely different subject. I haven't trained myself to wake up from these yet, although I am working on it. Apparently, when you are reading in a dream, you only see words as you read them or something weird - I was able to wake myself from a dream recently where I realized that the book/page I was reading was really blank, and I could just make up what I would read next.

It is nice to not have a stressful job that causes me nightmares right now. However, I am sure that there will be a whole new realm of nightmares that comes with having kids that I have to look forward to in a few years. Bad dreams are few and far between for me right now, so I need to enjoy my sleep right now, while I can. Especially the awesome dreams that are so complex that it makes me think that one day I could write an awesome book.

Speaking of dreams, I am off to have some right now! Talk to you soon!

#4 - Last Night's Wines

2008-07-05T10:19:00.001-07:00

So, last night we didn't really pair food and wine, but we kinda did. We had burgers and hot dogs, with some mac and cheese and some baked beans. (Quick note - Carrie made the beans in our dutch oven, which would coincidentally lead to more dutch ovens later.) The book called for zins, cabs, and chardonnay overall for the dishes we chose. We also had tomatoes and cheese, since heirlooms are starting to arrive on store shelves finally. One of the cheeses we had was a cheese you can grill that is not haloumi - I don't know exactly how to spell what we had, because it has 3 "u"s, and 2 of them are back to back. But, a rundown of the wines we had since they weren't fancy, just wines you can probably find at the store now:

2005 Chateau Ste. Michelle Chardonnay Indian Wells - this was $15 and got a 90 from Spectator. We really enjoyed it - very bright, balanced. I believe the tasting note involved "sweet vanilla oak", my old nickname. Chances are that the 2005 is harder to find, but it has a pretty good track record if you can only find the 2006 or even the 2007. Especially at the price.

2007 Chateau St. Jean Chardonnay Sonoma - Well, we did not go to St. Jean when we went to Sonoma last year, but it has always been a favorite because we love their Fume Blancs. I have always wanted to try the Chardonnay, just because. I found it for $14, but then saw it Meijer for $11. I wouldn't have liked it even if we only spent $2 on it. Yikes - it didn't even taste like a Chardonnay, and we stopped after one glass. Not one glass each, one glass combined. I can't speak for the other vintages or the reserves, which seem to score better. If you see one of those, you can try them out - the Belle Terre Vineyard Chardonnays are in the $20s, and the Reserve Chards are in the $40s. I still recommend their Fume Blancs for sure.

2006 Kumeu River Village Chardonnay - This is actually a New Zealand Chardonnay, and you should buy it if you see it. We found it at Costco for $17 or so - well worth it, especially for the fact that you will probably be drinking your first NZ Chardonnay. Our tasting notes included mineral, lime, orange, maybe some lemon. It isn't overly oaky like some California Chardonnays can be. Scored a 90 from Spectator. Check it out if you can find it.

2005 Simi Alexander Valley Cabernet - We picked this up at Costco for around $20 or so, only because we went there when we were out in Sonoma last year. It was actually pretty solid. You always wonder about wines after you visit a place - you always are more complimentary when you are at the actual vineyard and someone employed by the vineyard is standing there looking at you, waiting on your response. You may convince yourself you like it when you are there, but the real test is to buy it later and give it a whirl. This is what we tried with the Simi, and it was pretty solid for sure - it doesn't have a good track record on Spectator or anything, and you can probably do better for the cost. I probably wouldn't recommend it, but if you have a chance to have a glass, why not?

#3 - Tesla, Signs

2008-07-03T22:19:00.001-07:00

OK - this is a fascinating song for several reasons to me, and a completely inane topic. But here goes.

First of all, this is a remake. Initially it was performed in the 70s by a Canadian band called the Five Man Electric Band. They were obviously the worst kind of hippies, based on the lyrics of the song. Here is my thing - I know the 60s and 70s were all about protest and all, but someone in the band was bothered enough by the presence of like, roadsigns and billboards enough to write a song about it. Seriously - during the height of Vietnam and the civil rights movements. I have to think that the conversation went like this in the Five Man Electric Band:
1 - Hey - I wrote a new song!
2 - What is it about?
3 - Is it another Vietnam protest song?
1- Nope.
4 - Is it about the unfortunate treatment of blacks in not only Canada but the US?
5 - Oh, I know - we are Canadian, so it must be about French people seceding - good God I hate those frog bastards.
1 - Nope. This song is about how much I hate Signs!
2 - The terrible movie that won't come out for another 30 years?
1 - NO! Like, street signs and shit.
3 - Really? Like, 400 soldiers died in a pointless war yesterday.
1 - Yeah, but there are enough songs about that. I just hate signs!
5 - Let's hear it!
1 - (plays song)
2 - That could work
5 - Maybe 20 years from now, some other band will make this song famous.
4 - I mean yeah, we are Canadian, what do we know?

Also, the lyrics are somewhat suspect because, well, let's take a look.

(First of all, it is a song about how some dude is pissed off at signs enough to write a song about it.)
First verse - dude totally wears a hat to a job interview and gets hired. Then, the fact that Tesla is associating their long hair with that of hippies of the 60s/70s. I mean, the long hair of that era was counterculture in response to buzz cuts and the 50s and such. Hippies did drugs and had sex like bands in the hair band era, but that is about all they have in common. Hair bands were somehow hyper-masculine by dressing up like women. That is why Tesla has long hair - to get chicks, do drugs, and have sex. Hippies were seen as less masculine because of their long hair. The association of hair bands with hippies always bothered me.

But I get the point here, don't judge a book by its cover. Yadda yadda.

Second verse - okay, I agree here that it is silly that someone thinks they can just shoot you if you happen to walk along and get pushed off the sidewalk into their yard. It doesn't make murder legal just because you have it on a sign.

Bridge - Heaven forbid that any exclusive club exists that requires a membership. Stupid hippies.

Last verse - Here is what bothers me. They are attacking signs in this song, then mention that a church has a sign that says "everybody welcome, come in, kneel down and pray." Assholes. Then he makes a sign for God at the end - isn't the whole point of the song to rail against signs? I get it - God doesn't care about money. The church is just trying to make some money for some new drywall or something! Get over yourself, hippie!

Ha - I told you I would do some inane posts!

#2 - The Birds

2008-07-02T20:27:00.000-07:00

At our apartment complex, our mailbox is about 50 feet away from our actual apartment, so when I get home from work I just walk over and get the mail. Otherwise, if I come in the house and make myself comfortable, chances are that I won't go back to get the mail. Plus, right now checking the mail is critical for us because we are anxiously awaiting our wedding photos so that we can relive the day finally. Seriously - we appreciate all the photos that everyone has sent us, but we didn't pay any of y'alls. We want what we spent the big bucks on!!!

Well, our apartment complex has covered parking, and within the covering, there are many many birds' nests. This is normally fun, because we have some birds who normally nest near our car that we see every year. It is cool because we just basically stare at each other when I get out of the car, like we have some understanding that I won't hurt it if it won't like poop on our hood or anything.

However, the covering for the parking between our spot and the mailbox is populated by some very aggressive birds. When I go check the mail everyday, they, well, dive bomb at me. I swear, one of them got within two feet of my head this week. It has gotten to the point where I was intimidated enough to swing my mail at them today. I mean, seriously - I know that they are acting on instinct and all since I pose a threat in theory, but it really pisses me off. Like, I wish I had a BB gun. I am thinking of taking a tennis racket to the mailbox with me so that I can connect. I have worked all my life to look and act in a respectable manner, and appear non-threatening at all times. I feel personally offended that the birds think that I am after their babies.

Well, tonight I had enough. I actually went and knocked one of the nests down and most of the eggs broke. OK, not really, I'm just kidding - but I did go after the birds who were dive bombing me by swinging the bag I had (which had all of our thank-you notes, btw), and then I stood there in a way that I wanted them to come after me. Seriously, it actually raises my blood pressure, and I don't know why. I think it is an affront to my character that they would assume that I would actually try to kill their kids. It is totally irrational, and it really didn't piss me off at first, but now I try to think of new ways to walk to the mailbox so that they won't attack me. To anyone who saw me today, I probably looked like the biggest idiot, swinging a bag at birds. And justifiably so.

And it isn't like they are going to ever just fly directly into my face and make contact or anything - it is just an aggressive maneuver designed to scare me off. Sometimes I think, maybe I really should go after their eggs or something, just so they would feel justified in their aggressive behavior going forward. However, Mom pointed out that doing so would basically be the same as saying, "Stop crying, or I will really give you something to cry about!"

I need to figure out what species I am dealing with here. Because if these are mockingbirds, then Harper Lee was WAYYYYY off.

#1 - Cube Raiding

2008-07-01T19:55:00.000-07:00

Sadly, on Monday, the guy in the cube next to me was fired. I won't say who I work for or who the guy was, because there is probably some legal ramifications if I do. But, he had worked there for 3 years, and was probably the hardest worker in the office. He makes at least twice as many calls as I do on a daily basis, and 3 times as many calls as our top reps. (I'm in sales.)

Well, needless to say, we were all a little shook up and took a day to talk about it, about how delicately our jobs hang if we aren't hitting our numbers, about how much it sucks since this guy has 2 kids and the job situation in Michigan is less than stellar. Then today, one of the people in charge went into his vacated cube and threw away everything on the walls and in his desk drawers. Then, over the course of the rest of the day, it happened - if you have ever had an office job, you know what I am talking about here. It was a cube raid - people going in to see if his computer speakers were bigger and better than theirs so that they can upgrade, get his stapler and/or tape dispenser if they need one. One coworker was taking the plastic paper/file holder things off his desk. It was crazy. I think someone even took his business cards.

I have a confession to make - I used to be the guy who would lead this charge. I am an office supply whore. I used to have 4 staplers at my desk until I brought 2 of them home. I mean, until I put 2 of them back in the supply closet. But yes, I have endless supplies of push pins, staples, printer paper (don't ask), an extra 4 notepads just in case I run out, one of every color dry erase marker and an eraser, so many of those plastic things you are supposed to keep papers in that 2 of them don't even have anything in them, ball point pens, pens that click, magnets on my file cabinet - I could probably go on. I even have about 2 copies of every book we sell for some reason.

So I found myself surprised today that I didn't partake in the raid. Maybe it is a fear for my job, maybe I have stopped caring, maybe it is because he was in the cube next to me. But I couldn't do it today. I think it is because I just have too much stuff in my cube. Especially since all I do all day is look at the internet.

Spoilers

2008-06-30T15:52:00.000-07:00

A couple of weeks back,the Top Chef finale came on. It recorded on a Wednesday night, but we saved it for Saturday so that we could make wine and food and watch the show. This is something of a tradition for us, but then again we make food every weekend whether or not the show is on, so maybe not. But if you are a foodie like we are, you need to be watching this show - no excuses. That week, I had avoided TWOP and TV Guide so that I wouldn't accidentally see who won - it was a close competition this season between Richard, the best chef they have ever had on the show, and Stephanie, who probably could have won seasons 2 or 3, and could probably only win this year if Richard somehow blew it.

Well, that Saturday night was also the night that Tiger Woods was kicking ass in the US Open, holing out on 17, draining the putt on 18, etc. The phone was ringing - Steph, Cullen, Frank. So, after it is all over, I call Stephanie to recap what Tiger had just done, and was going to mention that she needed to watch Top Chef because we were about to watch the big finale. Here is how that part of the conversation went (warning, spoilers ahead!):

Me: "Steph, there is no reason that you don't watch Top Chef!"
Steph: "I know - I am so happy that Stephanie won!"

Now, she doesn't even watch the show, but somehow was just able to completely spoil what I had waited all week for!!! Well, it wasn't as bad as it seems - it is pretty obvious halfway through who was going to win. (And it still doesn't change the fact that Richard was the best chef ever on this show, with all due respect to Harold.) But still - nothing sucks like when those moments are ruined for you. I have been thinking since then to try to determine the times in my life where I found out the surprise ending to something too early. Books, movies, TV shows, sporting events. I was able to come up with 3 that were the worst for me:

3. HP5 - Entertainment Weekly. I was always slow on reading Harry Potter, and even at book 5 I was still a couple of months behind the rest of the world. HP3 was coming out at the movies, and EW had a large section of an issue about it. Now, it is my fault because I still read the issue, but there was a sidebar in the magazine marked with a "Spoilers ahead" section. Of course, it was not really well marked and I just opened the magazine to one particular paragraph in the spoilers section, and there I read that ****** ***** dies in HP5. I was just livid - I actually ripped up the magazine and threw it across the room. The big ending didn't even remotely have the same impact for me that it should have. Then again, I just should have read it. I mean, I love Harry Potter, but it isn't Proust or anything. I knew that when book 6 came out, I was just going to read it asap, before I even had the chance to have it ruined for me dammit!!

2. HP6 - Seriously, it comes out at midnight on Friday night/Saturday morning, so I go buy it at Meijer. I bring it home and start reading it that night. However, I wasn't going to hole myself up or anything, come on. When I went back to work on Monday, I consciously avoided anything remotely connected to Harry Potter. That morning, I am on the Fark message boards, because the Supreme Court made some sort of decision about something, and seriously, honest to God, on the message boards, someone just posts: ***** kills **********. Just as plain as day, completely off topic. I think I threw up in my mouth a little. It actually made my stomach hurt. It occurred to me that if someone had said that to me in person, I really might have punched them, because I think that it wouldn't be a crime to do so (can I get a ruling on this?). It significantly diminished my enthusiasm for reading the book, to the point that I had already seen an alternate interpretation of the big secret ending that really added a lot to how I read it.

(PS - I finished Book 7 in 3 days. I didn't even go online that Monday.)

1. The 1996 World Cup of Hockey. I was working at Grady's at the time, and was really into hockey at this moment of my life. Up until 1996, this tournament was called the Canada Cup, but this was the first such tournament since I started watching. Well, the finals were the US and Canada, and the final game was on a Saturday night in September. I couldn't get off work, so I set it to tape (actual VCR tape, not TiVo). Well, when I got to work, I basically told anyone who would even remotely care to not tell me who wins the game. This wasn't difficult, being that not that many people watch hockey in Memphis, TN. But everyone knew I watched it, so hopefully they wouldn't tell me if they found out. You know, out of respect. I lucked out because it wasn't even on the TV at the bar, so I couldn't just accidentally see it or anything. Well, the shift was a busy Saturday night, but finally things started to slow down, and I was basically done. I was going to go to the bar to say hi to Jack Speed and order some food to take it home to watch the game. Somehow I had done it - I knew it wouldn't be too difficult to avoid the score, but I was bouncing off the walls in anticipation of going home to watch the game in its entirety. I think I may have even given someone a couple of bucks to roll my silverware so I could go home. Then, I walk up to the bar, and Sean Wiseman is sitting at the end of the bar and turns to me and says, "Hey - did you see that the US beat Canada in the World Cup?" Really, just devastating, only because why is this guy even aware of something that wasn't on the bar TV? Why would he tell me - did I not ask him already to not tell me?

Well, I went home and watched it anyway, and I knew the final score was 5-2, but really until the last half of the third period, it was 2-1 Canada, so yeah, there was the slightest chance that maybe he was wrong. But then the US just reeled off 4 goals to pull away, and it was horribly anti-climactic.

.............................................................................................................................................

Post script - I can think of 2 times that I have been the culprit. Once was when Mom was making Ron watch Steel Magnolias, and I walked into the room and just flat out said, "Is this the one where Julia Roberts dies at the end?" Really, totally out of spite, because let's just say that I knew that Mom had seen it, so I wasn't spoiling it for her. But the other time was pure luck - Stephanie and I went to go see the Sixth Sense, and we knew there was supposed to be this "big twist" at the end, so I turn to her right before the movie starts and flat out say the following - "I'll bet the big twist is that Bruce Willis is dead the whole time!' Really though, it was entirely a guess - I had no idea. Midway through, Steph is like, "I really think that you are right!" It saved us the $7 that we would have had to spend to see it again to see how we missed it at least.

What about you? Anything along these lines where you were told the ending when you didn't want to hear it? People who know me well - am I missing anything?

Carrie's birthday adventure

2008-06-23T16:28:00.000-07:00

For Carrie's birthday on Saturday, I kept what we were doing a surprise until that day. When I woke her up, I gave her an envelope with instructions inside as to where she was supposed to go, then everywhere we went I gave her another envelope with more instructions. It made the day a little bit more mysterious, and we had a good time. I figured I would post with the notes and include some footnotes of my own to tell you how the day went.

Envelope 1:

Happy 30^th Birthday!!!!

You have a number of things planned today for your birthday, but they will be revealed to you over the course of the day.

First off, get ready, get dressed, and go to Kerrytown,* where you will receive further instructions…

*Kerrytown is the part of Ann Arbor where we had the wedding reception. Also, the notes I gave her did not have hyperlinks.

Envelope 2*:

Welcome to Kerrytown for the first time in your 30s! While here, you need to do the following:

Go to the Farmers Market, pick out some tomatoes!** (If there are any good ones…)

Go to Cake Nouveau and get a free birthday cupcake!*** (You know, if they will actually do that for you. Take your ID.)

Go to Zingerman’s for your free bagels. At Zingerman’s, you will receive further instructions.

*OK, so somehow this envelope got left behind, but I was able to recite it to her almost verbatim, since I had typed it out maybe an hour before.
**There weren't any good tomatoes yet. I am hurting for some heirlooms.
***Chick who runs this place is hot. The big check she had from winning on Challenge on the Food Network recently was out for all to see. I always wondered if you actually got another check, or if those things were legal tender.

Envelope 3:

While here at Zingerman’s, let’s grab some lunch! I am starving!*

But don’t get dessert, because we are off to Ben & Jerry’s and Stucchi’s for some free birthday ice cream. After that, you will receive further instructions.**

*Yeah, I knew I would be hungry. I had the sandwich I always get with pastrami and corned beef and two types of bread, and Carrie got something with brisket and cole slaw, and we had some mac and cheese on the side.
**These two places are literally right next to each other downtown. Most Ann Arborites only go to Stucchi's. True Ann Arborites go to the Washtenaw Dairy, but we got free ice cream here so whatever. Although, we were still full from lunch.

Envelope 4:

I hope you enjoyed or are enjoying your ice cream, which I will guess was the olive flavored sorbet with celery meringue.*

Now, go to Borders by 2:00! Hurry up so that you can see Garrison!** We will get her CD and get it signed and say Hey to her if she will let us. (Here was where I was going to give you her CD, but it was nowhere to be found.)

After we leave, you will get even more instructions! (But we have done so much already!)

*See the 30 things post about what Carrie dislikes in terms of food.
**Seriously, we forget how much we love Garrison until we see her perform. The pure acoustic is always better - just her and the guitar. There was a decent crowd there. Plus, when we went and spoke with her afterwards, I name-dropped Chip for the third time in a row meeting her.

Envelope 5:

Wow, it has been a busy day. You look like you need to relax. Luckily, you have a 3:30 appointment at the Relax Station for a “Royal Treatment” massage!! Let’s get over there!*

(Unless, we have like an hour to kill. Then we can do something else first. I just didn’t know how long Garrison would take.)**

After your massage, you will receive some more instructions!!

*Carrie enjoyed her massage and it was the big surprise of the day. Yay me!
**We totally had an hour to kill, so we went home real fast.

Envelope 6:

Now that you are relaxed, let’s go grab some coffee.* After that, we are headed out to the Wine Barrel to pick up your birthday presents!**

*It was too soon for coffee, so we got it after we picked up the wines.
**This place is in Livonia, so it is a bit of a jaunt. But we got the 1978 Cos d'Estournel, which is from St. Estephe, which we have never had, and the 1978 Lynch Bages, which is a Pauillac, which we love.

Envelope 7:

Now, let’s go back to A2 and rent a movie at Hollywood Video. It’s free you know.*

*We got coffee first, but we picked up Spiderman 3.

Envelope 8:

Let’s go home. You have a bottle of White Star in the fridge. Pour yourself a bottle and go read the Millfill blog.*

*The point of reading the blog was for her to see #30, which was where we were having dinner, at the Earle Uptown. Dinner was pretty good, but the dish we went there to get was not there! They were out of the fois gras for the Rossini, which sucked!! But the wines were stellar - we had the 1996 Les Hauts de Pontet, which is the second label of our favorite Bordeaux that we can afford, and we started off with the 2006 Pouilly Fume “Vieilles Vignes” Regis Minet. And yeah, I cut and pasted that.

So, overall the day was a success and we had a fun time. Since that took about a month to plan, I will have to start planning her 31st sometime in March.

30 Fun Facts about Carrie

2008-06-21T08:19:00.000-07:00

1. Carrie turns 30 today. We have been dating since she was 21. That is a full 30% of her life. Scary.
2. Carrie's favorite birthday with me was when she turned 25 in 2003. I set up a tent in the living room of our apartment, we drank an awesome bottle of Brunello that she will say is maybe her favorite wine ever, I made lamb that was the best lamb I have ever made, and when we sat outside that night, it was 32 degrees, which was crazy since it was the summer solstice.
3. Carrie is completely unable to fold a pizza box.
4. She usually gets the lyrics wrong to every song she tries to sing. Sometimes the lyrics are the song's title and she messes up.
5. Sometimes when a song is on, Carrie will listen and not sing, but then randomly start singing midway through the song. Without fail, the first words she tries to sing on the song are wrong.
6. Sometimes, on special holidays, Carrie will not buy me a card but instead will make me one. I keep them all and they mean much more than Hallmark cards to me, even if she is ridiculously goofy when making them.
7. Carrie is better at being a teacher than I will ever be at anything I do.
8. Sometimes, either when she is really thirsty or really hungover, Carrie just wants a Coca Cola Classic. None of this Coke Zero crap.
9. I have received some awesome gifts from this girl in my lifetime, including a telescope and a bottle of 1976 Chateau d'Yquem, but I will always think that the best gift was the DVD of Run Lola Run she got me. We hadn't even been dating a week, and I couldn't find it anywhere, but already in less than a week she found it and bought it for me for Christmas. It was awesome - I still watch it.
10. Carrie and I both hate olives more than any other food. Carrie also hates salmon and other fishy fish, and celery.
11. Carrie is one of those people who would prefer her desserts to have some sort of fruit in them, as opposed to me who just wants some combination of chocolate, peanut butter, and oreos.
12. Carrie loves wine, in case you didn't know. I am studying a lot about wines, but she always seems to know even the most obscure things that I found out and try to share with her.
13. Normally, everyone loves Carrie. This is good, because I tend to be an ass if I can, but I have still yet to find out that someone from the group of people we hung out with hates Carrie or even remotely dislikes her or anything.
14. Has a surprising knowledge of art and art history. I am amazed when we go to museums and she just says some thing about the paintings that I had no idea.
15. She has 2 different laughs. One is when something is genuinely amusing, which is what I always get for my jokes, and the other which is this cackle thing she gets when something is the funniest thing she will hear in weeks. I know I have really said something funny when I get the second laugh.
16. Carrie has never had a pair of sunglasses that have lasted for more than 6 months. They either break or get lost. It is uncanny.
17. Carrie was a smoker when we first started dating, but now the prospects of smoking make her physically ill. I am happy for this change - I want her to live a long life.
18. She can clean the entire apartment in less than 2 hours, no matter how dirty. It amazes me.
19. She actually drives faster than I do, because I am old.
20. Gets more traffic tickets than I do.
21. Only has two types of clothes - nice outfits and then stuff for lounging around the house. Most of the lounging clothes belonged to me at one point.
22. In many ways, Carrie and my mom are alike.
23. She still hasn't finished Harry Potter 7.
24. Has never watched the Star Wars movies from start to finish either.
25. Likes Steely Dan. This actually causes more fights than anything else.
26. Still occasionally places The Cosby Show and Roseanne on the TiVo list.
27. Enjoys watching sports in person more than on TV.
28. Shares many of the same flaws as I do, which is cute and annoying at the same time.
29. Carrie is my rock - she remembers the things I forget, keeps me in check, inspires me, loves me, and is my other half. I am incomplete without her.
30. Carrie probably has figured it out, but she is eating dinner at the Earle Uptown tonight. 8:00!

Game 7

2008-06-06T21:42:00.000-07:00

So, Monday morning I get an email at work from Cullen saying that he has asked his "guy" if he can get me 2 tickets for game 5 at the Joe between the Wings and the Pens, where the Wings had a chance to skate the Stanley Cup. I didn't actually ever really think it was going to happen, and by afternoon we hadn't heard back, so whatever. That night, I was on the phone calling and texting almost everyone I knew. The Wings came back from a 2-0 deficit to take a 3-2 lead in the 3rd period. They absolutely dominated. It was some of the most incredible play I have ever seen from a team in any sport. Steph called to ask how the Penguins were able to score 2 goals! I said, "Ozzie", because it is always easier to blame the goalie than to actually pinpoint the exact reasons (Lilja and Stuart).

Late in the 3rd period, everyone was on their feet - this was the Wings' coronation, their 4th cup in 11 seasons, the second since I have lived here. I remember the Wings' Cup win in 2002 - I watched several of the games after work at a local bar called "The Arena", which is now best known as the final resting place of Cullen's wedding ring. However, when the Wings skated the Cup that year, I was at my apartment watching with Carrie, who was mostly asleep on the couch, despite my overzealous exclamations: "look how they all shake hands - all sports should have to do that"; "Boo Gary Bettman - if I had that level of job performance, they would have fired me by now"; "I wonder who will win the Conn Smythe - probably Lidstrom"; "There's the cup! This is so awesome!!"

Back to Monday night - under a minute left in the game, and everyone is going crazy in anticipation of the Cup. I am quite literally on the edge of my seat. Steph lets me know later that I should remind her of the last minute of this game so that she will watch more hockey (the best sport in HD, fwiw). Then it happened. 34 seconds left, and the Pens score. The wind is knocked out of me - I try to find a plate glass window to put my head through. Game tied, 3-3. Devastating.

Despite a flurry of activity at the end of regulation, the game goes to OT. Speaking of a "Fleury" of activity, 3 OT periods later behind the best goaltending ever, the Pens score to win after a Jiri Hudler penalty, and I am tired. I text my buddy Mike Ferguson, who is a big hockey fan, and basically threaten Chris Osgood's life and call for the Wings to call up Jimmy Howard to start game 6. Mike points out again that it really wasn't Ozzie's fault, and he is right. But still. Ugh.

Work on Tuesday sucks - I am exhausted, everyone is pissy and really just wants it all to be over. Because it should have been. Most of us had just assumed that it was over, and game 6 really feels like it should never have had to take place. We feel cheated out of the feeling that we all had up until 34 seconds remained. I can't believe we have to go to game 6 in Pittsburgh. I am thinking, I don't care if I get tickets to game 7 back in Detroit, I just want the Cup!

Then, so help me God, I get an email from Cullen saying that we have tickets to game 7 back in Detroit.

Let me put this in perspective - there are only 2 other situations that a sporting event would be as big as a home game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals for the Red Wings. They are just my team! The others would be: the Titans in the Super Bowl, and Michigan in the BCS championship game. (Actually, if Marshall somehow made the BCS title game, I would sell a kidney for tickets. Then I would let Mom go. Then I would sell my other kidney for 2 tickets - one for me, and one for the dialysis machine.) The only way that I could handle a game 7 for the Wings is if we had forced it by winning game 6, coming back from some sort of deficit.

Immediately I am torn, despite what I had just said about not wanting a game 7 - did I actually want there to be a game 7? The opportunity for the defining sporting moment of my lifetime? Or do I want my team to win and get it over with? I mean, the momentum would fully be on the side of Pittsburgh and Sydney the Kidney. (2 kidney references! I should call this my nephro-post.) The crowd would be more nervous than excited, and an early Penguins goal would have destroyed us. Monday night during overtime, I actually had to put the garbage can in front of me because I thought I was going to puke - no hyperbole, it is just when your heart rate is that elevated for that long, these things can happen. So, I didn't want to puke on anyone at the stadium if we ended up going on Saturday.

Opinions varied - Carrie thinks that having Cullen come up so we could go to it would be so awesome that she doesn't understand why I wouldn't root for it to happen. Mike said that he didn't care if he had seats on the bench for game 7, he would just want it to be over in Pittsburgh. Seriously though - Monday night, my heart rate was roughly 150 for 4 straight hours at least - I don't know if my body could take it again, especially in person.

Ultimately, I decided to root for my team to win and root against a game 7, and just keep the knowledge that even if worse came to worse, it would still be awesome. And with a 3-1 lead late in the game, it looked like the whole thing was a non-issue. Until Jiri Hudler again took a late penalty, and the Pens score with a minute and a half left to cut it to 3-2. Then so help me God, as time expired and the game and the hockey season ended, the puck was actually loose in the crease! It took a minute for me to process what had just happened and that the game was really over, and we had won! My heart rate went down from 230 to a more manageable 120 I think.

So the Red Wings won their 11th Stanley Cup in team history on Wednesday. I didn't get to see the Cup in person, and I didn't get to have the defining sporting moment in my life. But I don't care. I am so happy that we won and I am so happy that it is over. The texts were flying that night - me texting Mike about how awesome Ozzie was, then hearing from Steph about how she made Chip watch it all because it was all so fun, hearing from Cullen about how happy he was that he didn't have to come up this weekend. I even talked to Bill Bernard, the man who made me a Wings fan so many years ago. I think this may have been the first time I saw the championship team in a sport in person the year they won the title (thanks again to Cullen's ticket-getting abilities we were able to go as part of my bachelor party weekend, which still remains the best experience I have ever had in sports).

So I didn't get to see it all in person - I did get to watch it at my apartment with Carrie, who was mostly asleep on the couch, despite my overzealous exclamations: "look how they all shake hands - all sports should have to do that"; "Boo Gary Bettman - if I had that level of job performance, they would have fired me by now"; "I wonder who will win the Conn Smythe - probably Zetterberg"; "There's the cup! This is so awesome!!"

Red Wings, Wedding Rings

2008-05-27T21:11:00.000-07:00

So, finally back to the blog. It has been a hectic month to say the least. In my mind, I have written hundreds of blog posts recounting every minute of the whole week of the wedding, to the point that it almost seems unnecessary. Everyone was great, everything was great, it was just the best time ever. It was one of the 5 biggest days of my life, and I knew that going in, but it was also one of the 5 best days of my life, and that was up in the air going in.

Tara, who cuts my hair and was at the wedding, warned me of a "let down" period immediately following the wedding. Since you have spent the last however many months planning this thing every single night almost, you suddenly don't have anything to occupy your time afterwards. Well, I am here to let you know, we are not there yet. I went back to work in a mad rush to hit my May quota, because I hate my job. Carrie went back to only 3 or 4 weeks left in the school year to do a whole bunch of grading, and now she is a little under the weather. So (un)luckily, things have remained too hectic for us to realize that we aren't the centers of attention anymore!

We are also having fun using everything left over from the wedding - you know, the gifts! We get to use our wine glasses for their intended grapes, we brought our appetizers to a Memorial Day party in the new bowls and plates that we got, we towel off with our new towels, we cook with our new kitchen gadgets, etc.

In addition to our jobs and our extravagant "foodie" routines, let's not forget the Red Wings. All night long I have been excited because tomorrow I get to watch the Wings. The level of hockey they are playing right now is among the highest I have seen in my lifetime. I wait for each game with the anticipation I usually reserve for new episodes of Lost. Once the Stanley Cup playoffs are over, all I have are the Pistons losing either this round or the next, and then the Tigers are done and the Cubs will eventually blow it.

However, now I have to stop procrastinating on all the things that I was putting off until after the wedding. Such as:
- Losing weight/exercising. I know you are probably thinking, isn't that something you needed to do before the wedding? Well, yeah, but the last 2 weeks have seen me put on roughly 48 pounds. The hectic schedules and honeymooning and our love of food and wine have resulted in a month long period since I counted Weight Watchers points on any single day. It is difficult now that I have no end date for any specific weight loss. Plus, I can't get my ring off, because all the weight is going to my fingers. I am going to get a dunlap if I don't start jogging my ass around the block.
- Updating my resume. Yeah, I don't necessarily want to quit my job, but this isn't my dream job or anything. Why not see what else is out there for a guy with a graduate degree in the liberal arts and 5 years of inside sales experience?
- Cleaning the house. And by cleaning, I mean a spring clean type, large scale evacuation of clutter. Everything must go! Now that I have about 15 new towels, I can finally take the 1992 Summer Olympic towels to Goodwill. Plus, we need a place to put the China. Ugh.
- Finish paying off the debt from the wedding. And, well, the last 14 years of my adult life, including student loans. But whatever.
- Getting a down payment for a car. Then for another car. Then for a house.
- Convince at least one out of towner who came to the wedding that they need to move to Ann Arbor. Seriously - your town sucks, my town rules. Break your routines and come on down! Or, up. The winters aren't an excuse - would you rather have sub zero temps for 2 months, or 100 degree 100 percent humidity days for 2 months, peppered with the occasional tornado warning? You can go outside and play in a snowstorm, you can't play in hail and lightning.
- Finally, we are going to start hanging out with other people. Everyone who made the effort to come to the wedding is just a lifelong friend now, and we want to see you. If it weren't for everyone at the wedding just being awesome, the whole thing would not have gone as smoothly. We owe our biggest day as a couple to all of you, so from now on, expect to see a lot more of us!

As soon as we take care of all of that, we promise that we will start thinking about having kids.

Finally Four

2008-05-06T18:56:00.000-07:00

Oh, the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland. I don't think anyone here will make it. Wait - Madonna made it in the Hall of Fame this year. You don't even have to play Rock and Roll anymore!

I didn't do the running commentary. I watched the first half with Connor, and it's hard to do that and type. He requires a lot of hands-on attention! We did all grouse during the intro about how Cleveland got the RnR Hall of Fame and not Memphis. We will never stop being bitter.

DC1 - Duran Duran? It's over. The competition is over. Give him the crown, winner of American Idol season whatever. Congrats - don't let Archuletta's dad kill you on the way out for winning over his son. Carrie thinks it was just okay. Randy agrees. Dude - Duran Duran! Immediately we are struck by how horrible the sound mix is. It's all voice and no music- what is the deal? That's so bush league, and not up to AI's usual standards. Weird. Fortunately he has a great voice, so it's not a huge distraction. He has only sung a song straight a couple of times- I'm not going to complain about it.

Syesha1 - I don't know this song. (Wait - this is the song that Lisa did during the Little Miss Springfield competition when she lost to Amber Dempsey. Homer sold his ticket for a ride on the Duff Blimp for that!) While Ryan is interviewing her, I start singing Proud Mary. Then guess what? So does Syesha! Chip is proud of me. She was great! I'm proud of how she has come on here at the end. Definitely top three. Hmmm...legs. I am a leg guy, and this might put her on my all time AI Top 5. (With McPhee, Scarnato, Kelly Clarkson, and Michael Johns.) Syesha - "I had fun." Simon - "Good. I didn't." Simowned.

Castro1 - He is doing a song by Bob Marley, because they both smoke pot! In case you didn't catch that. Also, it is my least favorite Bob Marley song. (I do love Marge's version of it on the Simpsons Spin-off Showcase. I would vote for Castro if he ended with, "so the next time you see the sheriff, SHOOT HIM!...a smile!!") Randy is right - that was brutal. Carrie - "I really liked that." How is she marrying me? Am I her type at all? Simon totally rips him. Castro- Summed up thusly- Simon: What were you thinking? Castro: Marley, man!

DA1 - Whatever he sings, I'll bet it's gonna be non-offensive. I want to pretend I am his dad here: "He'd better not fuck up this time or I am gonna beat him so hard with my belt. Beat him in a way that no one can see the bruises." Yeah, I want to save this kid like I want to save Katie Holmes. Wow - he threw in a reference to that POS song about the beautiful girls! Way to be relevant there big guy! Simon is STILL dogging Castro. I know I am overusing this phrase, but his arrangements are always just a touch Up With People-y. He is really a fantastic singer. I just don't enjoy hearing him sing. It's a paradox!

DC2 - Sings CSI:NY for his second song. Dedicates it to Castro. Because he is wasted - get it?! Awesome. I really love his mouth. The shape of his lips and his teeth are just really superior.

Syesha2 - Before she sings, Ryan shows off Rascal Flatts, a band or person that I only know of because of the Carrie Underwood season. And, oh wow. She's hot. I don't know about you, but my peenie just went "Huh"? I thought that was great, and I'm glad she showed that much emotion. And that she learned about being black!

Castro2 - Mr. Tambourine Man. This song means a lot to me, and I think it's a perfect song for Jason, but he just didn't connect to it. And he forgot the words. Forgets the words - I think Connor knows the words to this song. I think it's safe to say that Connor's version blows this one out of the water. (Send me an email- I'll send you the video!) He sings it better than the first one, but he should still leave.

Archie2 - Singing Elvis? Trying to curry favor with me. It is like taking a song by the one guy in history I would love to hang out with the most, and having it sung by the guy who I want to hang out with the least. Crusher- OK, that was probably his best performance. Even though it's kind of a weird phrase, Randy was right that his voice caressed every word and he just really connected to the song. That's what Castro is always and forever missing. If he wins, he wins. I won't buy his album no matter where he finishes, so it's kind of a cow's opinion at this point.

Overall, Cook, Archie, Syesha, Castro.

OMG- Next week I'll be in A2 for the finale! I hope the bachelorette party is centered around watching it! I also hope Jason Castro is not involved in any way!

Chockley out!

Stuff white people like at the wedding

2008-05-04T10:51:00.000-07:00

This weekend, Carrie and I came to the realization that we are going to have a lot of things from this blog at the wedding, to the point where it is disconcerting. Here is a rundown.

1. Coffee - end of the wedding, we made sure that there would be coffee for people.
2. Religions that their parents don't belong to - well, the wedding won't really be the same denomination as our parents, per se...
5. Farmers Markets - literally, the Farmers Market will be the day of the wedding at the site of the wedding, but will be over by the time we get started
6. Organic Food - I am pretty sure that most of the ingredients of your food will be organic.
7. Diversity - this means in terms of food. We have a very varied menu.
8. Barack Obama - I will throw out that 80% of guests will be supporters.
11. Asian girls - but sadly, not the Asian guy that I really want to be there.
14. Having Black Friends - You will love Renae and Jason.
16. "Gifted" children - 100% of the kids who will be there are gifted!
20. Being an expert on YOUR culture - just read the post, and watch out for it when it happens.
24. Wine
25. David Sedaris - OK, he won't be at the wedding, but he will be at Borders downtown in June. Chuck Palahniuk will be there on the 20th, and we are going. This one didn't really count, I am just bragging.
32. Vegan/Vegetarianism - we will have several vegan/vegetarian friends at the wedding, but have no fear, there will be several vegetarian dishes. Plus, the rice pilaf stuffed tomatoes will have no chicken broth used, we checked. :)
33. Marijuana - Um, hi Mom - one of the guys at the wedding sells pot. See if you can guess which one! It's not me, btw.
34. Architecture - The buildings in Kerrytown really are awesome, especially the one where the reception is!
36. Breakfast places - On Sunday, we are trying to arrange a place to have a brunch/breakfast, but we haven't decided yet. We will let you all know beforehand.
40. Apple products - an iPod will be used for the music.
41. Indie Music - will be coming out of said iPod.
42. Sushi - one of the guys at the wedding sells sushi for a living. See if you can guess which one!
45. Asian Fusion Food - kinda the same as #7
48. Whole Foods and Grocery Co-ops - there is a good chance that some of the food will be from either Whole Foods or the Co-op in Kerrytown.
49. Vintage - We are guessing that one couple specifically will come wearing something vintage.
54. Kitchen Gadgets - the reception is literally in a kitchen gadget store.
56. Lawyers - one might even usher you to your seat at the ceremony.
60. Toyota Prius - some of our guests will be driving their Prius to the wedding. Plus, it is Ann Arbor - there is a strong possibility that you will park next to one.
63. Expensive sandwiches - Less than a block away from the reception.
76. Bottles of water
78. Multilingual Children
81. Graduate School - Basically the reason everyone is coming to Ann Arbor for the wedding is because of graduate school.
88. Having Gay Friends
93. Music Piracy - basically most the indie music you will hear on the iPod.

There are several maybes, like scarves and bad memories of high school, but I can't make promises that I won't be able to deliver.