#19 - Nice Rack

Seriously - MINUTES after we are wed, you can already tell what I am thinking. In my defense, at least I was checking out my own wife and no one else. Also, I mean, we never had sex before marriage - please. (Hi Jerry and Jan!)

Notice that Gerald sees what I am doing here, but he can't say anything. I finally married her!

#18 - Coldplay is Not Gay

So, I am here to reclaim Coldplay. When The 40 Year Old Virgin came out, there was a scene where Seth Rogan says to Paul Rudd, "You know how I know you're gay? You like Coldplay." At the time, there was an audible groan in the theater - all the guys liked Coldplay, but suddenly it was something "gay", less manly. Coldplay is still popular and sells tons of albums and all, but it is different now.

I think this is probably what happened to men and quiche back in the 80s. Suddenly, something was stigmatized as having a quality that was somehow emasculating, so it was to be shunned by men. Coldplay, well, it was the same way after that movie came out. We all kinda liked "Yellow", then we liked "In My Place", loved "Clocks" and then were moved by the video for "The Scientist". But we couldn't really mention it because of the stigma. We listened to Clocks when it was everywhere, but claimed that we liked it somehow ironically, like it was Barry Manilow, or Journey or something. It is hard to explain - Journey rocks and all, but there is something undeniably cheesy about it. I think that has happened to Coldplay, instead of just saying that their music is really good. (OK - I actually would love to make the same argument about Journey! They are awesome, and not in some camp, cheesy, ironic way! Shut up.)

The last album started off great - Speed of Sound is maybe my favorite song by them. It is quality stuff, even if they have started this genre of music where bands use things like cymbals, really high notes on the synthesizer, or strings in order to sound "big". But the rest of the album was lacking somewhat, except for Fix You. But the new album - I have only heard this new song about the revolutions and the kinds and Jerusalem bells ringing, but I love it, and I don't want to be ashamed anymore. (Seriously - the album cover is Delacroix's Liberty Leading the People. I knew that without having to look it up - I have 2 degrees on stuff like that. It is like they are actively trying to get me to like them at this point.) I was really feeling that I could come forward and not call them a guilty pleasure or anything, and just say that I like them with no repercussions.

Then I see this preview for Bones (love that show, btw), and they bring up the whole Coldplay is gay joke again! Seriously - I have gay friends, and Coldplay is not a large part of their culture. I would guess that similar percentages of gay and straight males are fans of the band. I know dude named his daughter Apple or something, but still. Coldplay is not gay. Guys - it is cool. You can listen to Coldplay, and people shouldn't question your sexuality. If you want to call us gay, do it because I call my sister after Friday Night Lights to discuss Tim Riggins, or because my best man has a guy crush on Justin Timberlake, or because one of my other groomsmen liked Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, not because we like Coldplay!

#17 - Sports Pain

So this week the ESPYs were on ESPN, hosted by Justin Timberlake. He actually did a pretty good job, but really, all the show did was to open up some old wounds for me. It is crazy to think, but the last 12 months have seen 2 of the worst defeats I have ever had as a sports fan. This doesn't even include the Super Bowl! Really - the Super Bowl this year - I mean, I know that apparently we all see the Patriots now as the big bad guys, even though I never got the memo, and we are supposed to root against them. But to me, they were led by a Michigan QB and a Marshall WR. How can I hate that? Plus, it would have been the only time ever that a team has gone undefeated - we didn't get that either. Very disappointing. But not as bad as the other 2 losses.

Having TLake host the show was nice because I was able to live vicariously through his pain about the Memphis loss to Kansas. Seriously - when that game happened, Frank was over here watching it, after when we lost and Frank left, I closed the front door, went into the computer room and closed that door, locked it, and just sat there. It was too much - our team came as close to winning it all as possible, and fell just short. It reminded me of the Titans in the Super Bowl - so close! But really, it just all sucked, and who knows when we will get back. But still - it felt nice to see TLake ripping on Kansas and voicing our disappointment in the opening monologue.

But then, the first award of the evening - seriously, it was for the biggest upset. Suddenly, there is the Big House, Michigan, Appy State, yadda yadda, all on screen. I mean, it still pisses me off. It was the opposite of the Memphis game - imagine waiting all year long, after your team came so close to going undefeated last season, to see them try again for a national championship, and then to lose it ON THE FIRST DAY OF THE SEASON!! When it was over, I went into the bedroom and just laid back on the bed and stared at the ceiling. Carrie came in and rubbed my arm because she knew it was bad, but I just couldn't explain it. It was all over, just like that. Luckily, Tiffany was in town visiting, so it wasn't the worst day of my life or anything, but still. I have waited since that day for the new season to start - this time I don't have the same expectations, but still.

So, the ESPYs kind of sucked because I had to relive those crappy games. At least I will always have the Red Wings!!!

#16 - My Boys and My Girls

#15 - 5 Foot Radius

OK, this photo still makes me nervous, even though nothing was spilled. I am happy that we got a photo of Carrie with Tiffany and all, but that red wine is just too close to the dress - I still cringe when I look at it! Like, someone is going to come and accidentally bump into Tiffany's arm!

There was supposed to be a 5 foot radius around Carrie at all times where no one had any red wine. Then again, it isn't like she is going to wear that dress again, I hope...

#14 - Dirty Sanchez?

#13 - Should I look at the camera on the way out?