5 Left until SYTYCD

Chip and I are perversely excited about ALW night. Chip is hoping for disaster, while I'm hoping I'm moved to tears at least twice. I love musical theater, Chip does not. This is going to be our most polarizing episode ever! This night is going to be difficult for some of these contestants- there are a few that I can't imagine will "connect" with these songs. Like, I feel that Carly will miss the point. Brooke will smile during a sad song. You know?

Ricky Minor looks so cute in his suit! And Paula looks great tonight too. Probably the best she's looked all season.

ALW's outfit is outstanding. I want violet cordouroys! I kinda hate Andrew Lloyd Webber though. The only thing I can respect him for is that he got to nail this.

So while we're watching this, let me ask- did anyone else see the thing about what a bad stage dad Archuleta has? Poor Archie! http://www.tvsquad.com/2008/04/22/archuleta-dad-mired-in-accusations-of-being-horrible-stage-paren/

Uh, it is Andrew Lloyd Webber week, and ugh. Really? Ryan actually makes the brilliant point that when Simon says "too Broadway", it is a put down. So, we get a whole night of it? Then Paula is like, the real challenge will be to make the songs "contemporary". I know one way they could do that - BY ACTUALLY SINGING CONTEMPORARY SONGS!!!! I already hate the show tonight. And boy, is there gonna be a LOT of filler - 6 contestants, 2 minutes singing each, plus 16 minutes of commercials, leaving 32 minutes of talking.

(Tonight's rankings in parentheses)

Syesha (1) in the death slot - looks kinda hot and sings well. That really might be all I got here. This is her week to go, no matter how she sounds, right? Although you know she's done musical theater in her day. She's right- this is going to be a weird Idol night. Wow- she started totally wrong! Ricky and the boys covered it so smoothly that we had to go back and see it. That's a professional band right there! Syesha looks outstanding, and she sounds good, but still. You know, maybe it will be Brooke who goes home. I can't imagine her pulling this off. Way to dance with Ricky, Syesha! Man I love Ricky Minor. Also, Syesha is just having a great time, and I love that. Her best performance since Hollywood week. Well done! Randy is right- she will do well on Broadway. Paula says, "This is right in your love." Such as. The Iraq. Simon is turned on, which turns me on. Sorry, it's true.

Castro (6)- Can he do something from Grease? It's a musical! I crack Chip up with my impersonation of Castro impersonating Danny Zucko. That bit kills! Some joke about cats and his hair to make here, maybe Steph will. Castro is sticking with the dreds and the white shoes. I can't handle it. Maybe not. I thought he was bad, Carrie thought he was good. We agree to disagree, even though I am right and she is wrong. The judges agree with me. I choose to ignore Castro's Castro version of this song and instead focus on those lyrics and the real melody. I get chill bumps, and tears in my eyes, the way Memories tends to do, despite the fact that Castro is doing his best to suck the life out of it. The stuff I said before about Carly and Brooke? I meant Jason. Paula notes that Jason is not a "powerful female balladeer". Thanks for the clarification. Paula needs to put a sock in it- this sucked. Maybe next year, when there are 6 contestants left, they can sing something that America might like. Randy says that Jason is a pretty man. Everything Simon says is true. I'm with you Simon- that is exactly what he sounded like! (A kid being forced by his parents to sing this at a wedding.)

Brooke White (5) - I need to turn on the air conditioner at this point, because I am ready to fall asleep. ZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz. I will be putting the Evita soundtrack in my car tomorrow. Oh fuck, she has already been crying in her package. And...Holy crap - she messed up! Wow - most people would just take that in stride, but she makes them START THE SONG OVER!!!!! Brooke, you can't keep starting over! Carrie says, "she tries to be sweet, but she is so pretentious." Chip: "I don't know- she makes me nervous." Now, her singing "you must love me" really comes across as very diva-like, especially after she said this would be her best moment on the show. Her voice just isn't powerful enough- she's not convincing me. I understand she has the emotion behind it, but you have to sound desperate on top of it to pull off the Evita. I love that dress, though. Wow - Paula calls her out on starting and stopping and starting over. Paula- damn. Brooke isn't talking now!! At least Brooke isn't talking back. Go home! (Hehe - I am experiencing what the ancient Mayans call "schadenfreude".) Simon is right, again. He says the same thing Chip did, essentially. Oh crap, she is crying again. When I die and go to hell, I will be forced to marry this chick.

Rick(y) Schroeder is in the house!

DA (4) - Has like 17 sisters. (That's gross, having the girls come hug him. Ugh.) He should do "well" this week. I think he's going to be awesome tonight! Carrie thinks he is losing weight. Oooh- I'm worried about this. I'm not sure I want to hear a poppy version of this. Although Simon did say that the contestants needed to make these songs relevant. He sounds good, of course. And it could go on his album. if Sir ALW would let him (which he won't). I'm going to put Phantom in my car tomorrow too- I need to hear the original version. I mean, that was a fine pop version of the song, but I need to hear it the old-fashioned way! Wow - 3 years from now, in arenas across the country, this shall be heard: "Coming in concert: Josh Grobin, with opening act David Archuletta." (It is times like this that I am happy to be able to watch this show in front of the computer, because instead of watching this show, I can do ANYTHING ELSE!!) Simon luckily didn't like it, which makes me happy. Seriously though, of all the people, did you think Archuleta was the one who would un-Broadway one of these songs?

OMG- we totally had to pause it to gawk at the ghost of Paul Stanley. What would Beth say!?

Carly (2) - Looks like I might have been wrong about this one. She owes ALW a big one! I mean, hasn't bad song choice been her undoing to this point? She needed someone to pick a good song for her. Alright, she looks and sounds great. Ricky is getting down! (Have I mentioned that we love Ricky?) This is great. I disagree with Randy- this was better than just "good." Nice shirt- I don't know about that. OK, a guilty pleasure of mine is this song, because it is really bad. Plus, I always sing it as "Jesus Christ Superstar - what are they feeding you?" I don't know where Smelly Cat comes from, but that is how I roll. Also, as much as I don't understand the appeal of tattoos, I really don't get face tattoos. PS - this totally would have been the song that I would have sung on ALW week. Or the Don't Cry for me Argentina song.

DC (3) - Chip predicts a big Goth version of some Phantom song. He's half right! I'm nervous! I mean, I guess I want him to win and all, but I worry that this is his true colors. You know, a lot lamer than everyone thinks. Ooooh, he's a musical theater guy. I had no idea! And he's singing the sexy song. I'm excited already. Raw passion. . .mmmmmm. . . Anyway, here we go. I believe that is the first time he's ever just done a song "straight." It was awesome. I just love David Cook. I love David! He does good and all, I guess, but c'mon - it's Phantom of the Opera. I like NASCAR more than this. But yeah, he was the best of the night, even if Carly was my favorite.

Wow - Steph and I were not at all creatively on the same page tonight. It was difficult for me since I like my entertainment to be somewhat enjoyable, while Stephanie actually likes Andrew Lloyd Webber. Please let Brooke go home. Bottom 3 - Syesha, Brooke, Jason. But, Ryan actually made me laugh there by singing "If you want to vote for David." Please let next week be Maynard James Keenan week.

Chip gives it to Syesha tonight (he wishes!). She moved herself up tonight, for sure.

Tonight's rankings in parentheses above. Overall rankings here:

1. Cook

2. Archuletta

3. Carly

4. Syesha

5. Castro

6. Brooke

Stephanie out!