Goodwill

On Saturday, Carrie and I went to the Salvation Army to find some costumes for the party we had to go to that night. See, we had to dress up as something that started with the letter 'B'. (I went as a bowler, Carrie went as Bob's Grandson. I'll explain.) I really wanted to find a bowling shirt to go with my bowler outfit, since I already had the shoes and the bowling ball case. Carrie was still trying to figure it all out.

In case you have never been to Goodwill or the Salvation Army or whatever, let me try to explain the experience. First of all, if you want to meet gay high school boys, this is your place. I guess the whole goodwill look is in still (Carrie said she used to go clothes shopping there in high school too). Also, if you want to find any equipment for any out of date electronic equipment, look no further. The music area had a Barry Manilow album which oddly overlooked the whole store. There were tapes and CDs (including Billy Gilman's One Voice), VCR tapes and even some DVDs, a whole bunch of iPod covers (for some reason), about a dozen VCRs, a dozen TVs (maxing out at 17 inches, tops). Every game or toy you played with as a child was there in the kids section. Well, most of them had some parts missing. There was some terrible artwork, a bed even, some furniture, a whole bunch of books that you might have bought in the 80s or 90s but now have no use for (go there if you are looking for a copy of The South Beach Diet). The kitchen equipment was suspect at best, but still surprising - not just snow cone makers, but a toaster oven and a blender among others. The sports section had some wooden tennis rackets and various random parts for every sport you could think of. There was even a poker chip case, without any poker chips of course. You could decorate a kitchen with the knick knacks and cups and plates that were there. Carrie even found a table lamp she had when she was a child and even wanted to buy, even though I told her it probably wasn't the same one.

As for the clothes, well, we had one rule - we couldn't buy anything we had donated. Finding a bowling shirt was daunting, but we found something that passed. But the shirts - really, everything you could ever expect. I found some Structure, Gap, Old Navy - you name it. Some of those country shirts that Garth Brooks used to wear. Flannel robes. Mom jeans. Silk, sateen, denim. I sadly found a shirt that I wear to work twice a week. (Even more sad - I wear the same shirt to work twice a week.) They had a big and tall section. There was even a section with bridesmaid dresses and prom dresses, and some shirts that might have been seen at a table you waited on at 3:30 on a Sunday afternoon at Grady's. Despite all my prodding, Carrie refused to go as a bridesmaid (starts with a B, only $12!!).

The T-shirt aisle was where we spent most of the time, looking for something for Carrie. (I wanted a "Bikini Inspector" T-shirt, which would have been the awesomest costume ever.) There were many options - a Blue Cross Blue Shield employee, someone on the Belleville Denistry softball team. We even found one that said "Jerry's gang", but it didn't start with a B. Then Carrie found it - a T-shirt that said "Bob's Grandson". First of all, Bob's grandson sucks, because if my grandpa made me that shirt, I would wear it all the time. Also, who makes a shirt that reads "Bob's grandson"? But, it was Carrie's size, and really kinda funny for the party, so it was decided. Really though, looking at the shirts, they all seemed funny in a "I just got this at goodwill" type of way. But when you think about it, if you hadn't bought one of those shirts from goodwill and just had it, then were seen out wearing it, it wouldn't be that funny. And really, you can't tell that if you see someone just wearing a tacky shirt like that. Maybe they are being ironic, maybe not. I guess if they are a gay high school kid, they are being ironic.

Really, as weird as the experience was, and the feeling that we buying clothes better suited towards keeping Washtenaw County's homeless population warm this winter, I also felt that if my house burnt down and I had to refurnish at a minimal cost, I could fill up my place with crap from goodwill. But still - first thing we did when we got home was to wash those shirts before we wore them.