#2 - The Birds

At our apartment complex, our mailbox is about 50 feet away from our actual apartment, so when I get home from work I just walk over and get the mail. Otherwise, if I come in the house and make myself comfortable, chances are that I won't go back to get the mail. Plus, right now checking the mail is critical for us because we are anxiously awaiting our wedding photos so that we can relive the day finally. Seriously - we appreciate all the photos that everyone has sent us, but we didn't pay any of y'alls. We want what we spent the big bucks on!!!

Well, our apartment complex has covered parking, and within the covering, there are many many birds' nests. This is normally fun, because we have some birds who normally nest near our car that we see every year. It is cool because we just basically stare at each other when I get out of the car, like we have some understanding that I won't hurt it if it won't like poop on our hood or anything.

However, the covering for the parking between our spot and the mailbox is populated by some very aggressive birds. When I go check the mail everyday, they, well, dive bomb at me. I swear, one of them got within two feet of my head this week. It has gotten to the point where I was intimidated enough to swing my mail at them today. I mean, seriously - I know that they are acting on instinct and all since I pose a threat in theory, but it really pisses me off. Like, I wish I had a BB gun. I am thinking of taking a tennis racket to the mailbox with me so that I can connect. I have worked all my life to look and act in a respectable manner, and appear non-threatening at all times. I feel personally offended that the birds think that I am after their babies.

Well, tonight I had enough. I actually went and knocked one of the nests down and most of the eggs broke. OK, not really, I'm just kidding - but I did go after the birds who were dive bombing me by swinging the bag I had (which had all of our thank-you notes, btw), and then I stood there in a way that I wanted them to come after me. Seriously, it actually raises my blood pressure, and I don't know why. I think it is an affront to my character that they would assume that I would actually try to kill their kids. It is totally irrational, and it really didn't piss me off at first, but now I try to think of new ways to walk to the mailbox so that they won't attack me. To anyone who saw me today, I probably looked like the biggest idiot, swinging a bag at birds. And justifiably so.

And it isn't like they are going to ever just fly directly into my face and make contact or anything - it is just an aggressive maneuver designed to scare me off. Sometimes I think, maybe I really should go after their eggs or something, just so they would feel justified in their aggressive behavior going forward. However, Mom pointed out that doing so would basically be the same as saying, "Stop crying, or I will really give you something to cry about!"

I need to figure out what species I am dealing with here. Because if these are mockingbirds, then Harper Lee was WAYYYYY off.