Steph (in blue going forward): So. . . last week was the Lennon/McCartney songbook, and this week is the Beatles? Um, okay. Does that mean we're going to hear A Little Help From My Friends?
Kristy looks almost cute, but that dress is too sparkly. Syesha wins this fashion show- yowza!
Memorable moments. It's week two! Jeez! Everyone's most memorable moment should be "Last week, when I didn't get sent home."
Amanda - it is weird, she looks 23 when she isn't singing, and 45 when she is singing. I mean, she could be pretty, but I think it is just the size of her head. If she gets voted out, she will have to go back to factory to work next to Roseanne, Jackie, and Crystal. Simon is right, it all sounds the same every week.
Amanda- The thing is, there are a lot of fine, boring singers right now. Since Amanda is more interesting than a lot of folks- KLC, Sayesha, Chikezie, Remiele- I think she could hang around for a few weeks. But she'll have to go after them, before the awesome top half of the group. Because she's really not a great singer, but at least she's not boring. She seems more confident and fun tonight, so that's good.
KLC - took my advice on the skirt. I have to say, I do think she is physically attractive - I just do. I mean, she isn't all that good and she needs to go home and all, but whatever. She does gain points at the end by promising to blow me...out of my socks. Dude - I would double entendre that chick.
KLC- No no no no no. No. Paula's kiss of death, "You look really pretty!" Simon, as always, is right. Chip would like Kristy to blow him out of his socks. Oh my.
David A - kind of boring, but whatever. I can't watch him without thinking he is going to mess up now. Carrie thinks he and Syesha win the night. But oh good lord with the crowd swaying thing. Carrie says "here come the zombies" every time they start swaying. We normally mock the crowd, but tonight we worked out (and watched the first half of the Pistons-Nuggets, where the Pistons scored 73 points! Dude! I tried to call Steph twice but she was drinking tequila, and I guess reverse drunk dials are strange for her or something) and we can't lift our arms over our heads as a result.
Archuleta- I'm soooooooo over him. There's no reason for it, I just am. But- he's so good! Damn it! And the crowd goes wild. And the judges lose their minds. Oh well. I wonder if he considers it a personal affront to be sharing the stage with the likes of Kristy Cook. If I were him I would. (Chip: "Shiiiit. Like butta.")
Michael- That was a memorable moment for me too! I'll remember it later in bed. Sorry Chip. drooool. . . You'd love to what? Mission accomplished! Whatever judges- I thought that was awesome. Why do they never like him? Chip isn't thrilled either. Maybe I'm just that blinded by his beauty. Whatever- I'm voting for him.
Brooke - OK, I woke up to this song for so many years. I had this alarm clock that played some loud muzak version of Here Comes the Sun every day. But, I still like the song, flying in the face of all reason. Brooke looks good and she is likeable, but I described my thoughts already. But she is kinda meh tonight. It is like, they are using tons of makeup on her right now, because you just know that there are some freckles on that chick.
Brooke- Nova Scotia? You don't say! The baby is named Madison? You don't say! It's well-written? By Lennon/McCartney? You don't say! Shannon used to have an alarm clock that woke him up with this song. I'm just sayin. Brooke is so incredibly awkward on stage- just play piano every week. Seriously. And the judges agree! Quotes of the night- Randy: "That was NOT hot for me." Simon: "It was wet." Huh? Is he talking about me during Michael's song? (Thank you, I'll be here all week.)
(ed. note - Seriously - Steph remembers the alarm clock? I can't believe she wrote that! LOL We must have grown up together! )
David Cook - Do you feel...like I feel? Oh good God that was embarrassing! He used the Framptonator! I agree with Simon again - I knew going in exactly what that would sound like. Plus, now all I can think is that his hair is a comb over because he is going bald - I read that somewhere this week, I don't even know if it is true. But he did sing "Gay Stripper" in honor of his buddy David who was voted out last week, so that was kind of touching.
David- Love him! But we had to stop and look up what he sang last week. Whitesnake! OMG- he's got the Frampton talk box thing right there. I can't wait. And there he goes! Yessssss! That was better than a beat box- sorry Blake! I don't care where his hair line starts. I love this man. Chip says, "It's down to the Davids now!" I'm with you. OMG- Paula is right! He's ready to go sell records. Simon pulls out the "you looked smug" business- has he been reading the message boards? Whatever- I loved it. I love him. It's over for me- I'm voting 6 and 4 tonight. Hand me the phone!
Carly - sings Blackbird, right after the judges do a whole routine about Blackbird. OK, I hadn't noticed before this week, but she's got the crazy eyes! Paula gives her an F...for Fantastic!! Simon doesn't like it? I can see that - so can Carly, since she's got that bug eyes thing going on. She looks a little Grace Slick here.
Carly- That will stick in my mind too, because I was offended when Simon compared you to The Kelly Clarkson. Does anyone else think about when Susan Lewis' sister Chloe gave birth to little Suzy every time you hear this song? No? Just me? I didn't like that version, I thought it was too fast, and Chip thought it was too Broadway-ish. It was a no from the Chockleys. The judges are talking and we are just not listening. Blah blah blah Irish accent tattoos blah blah.
Dreads - sings Michelle, but I like the Bela Fleck version better. I think he is high right now. Randy didn't like it. Carrie just wants you to know that you all are crazy and that he is beautiful, and his eyes are awesome, his skin is perfect, and he has beautiful eyelashes. I want to make a joke here about how it wasn't a very good ensemble, because he says tres bien ensemble in the song and it would be a play on the mistranslation and all, but I just can't make it work. I think he is goofy, but Carrie loves him for his goofiness. Ugh.
Castro- My favorite moment was that time you washed your hair. Oh wait! That hasn't happened- ever! French does not make this a dynamic song. Neither does pot. Seriously dude- stop talking. Stop everything. Ugh. Surely this has lasted longer than a minute forty. Will it never end!?!?!? Finally. Chip agrees with Randy that Jason wasn't "connected" to it. He thinks he was just goofy. I still repeat everything Castro says like I'm Vinny Barbarino or Danny Zucko. Simon is right- tonight is weird. They shouldn't have done a second night of Beatles songs. Move on! Ooooh- Simon said goofy too. It's hot when Chip and Simon agree!
Syesha - Wants to touch me...with this song. Oh no - straight hair? Keep the curly! Carrie thinks it is the best of the night. She was good, but I can't lie - I don't like the straight hair! It is disconcerting. I always hate those movies where the girl is ugly with curly hair, then she gets a makeover and straightens her hair and is attractive. Curly hair can be hot too! Plus, there is something very Euro-centric about it here which almost awakens the sleeping grad student within me.
Syesha- Mmmmmm boobies. My most memorable moment for you was that time you wore those short shorts. I'm a leg man! It's fair to say Chip is paying close attention tonight. I like this. Probably her best performance so far (other than Hollywood week). Chip totally disagrees, didn't like how she interacted with her accompaniment or something. Simon agrees with me! Now I'm sexy!
Chikeze - Ouch with the harmonica. Not as good as last week. But whatever. Pick a style dude. That might be his last performance, which would mean 2 guys go first after everyone was saying how much better the guys are this year.
Chikezie- Have I mentioned that I'm tired of the arm swaying thing the crowd is doing? Maybe a mosh pit wasn't the best idea, AI producers. Wow, Chikezie is so strangely bluegrass now! It was interesting last week, but this week I'm a little weirded out. I dunno- is that really him? He's doing the country-ish thing better than Kristy, that's all I can say. Someone needs to tell Chikezie that Nashville doesn't allow black folks in. Sorry dude- Davidson County is whites only. Next!
(ed. note - Again, it is like we are related! The swaying annoys us all!)
Asia'n - Can I still call her that now that Asia'h is gone? She is decent, but from her piece, she just really seems needy. Simon commented on her personality being likeable, and I was thinking that this is the first time ever that Simon said the exact opposite of what I was thinking! It was too cutesy overall - I'll bet she slept with one guy in her life, and only once, and when she hangs out with people, she still talks about it in a way that no one else can understand what it was like to love a guy and share something like that, and it was so devastating when he dumped her that summer because he was headed off to college at USC and she was stuck hostessing at the sushi place while studying for the GED, and she still drunk texted him on the weekends, but recently she found out that he changed his number, and she doesn't understand how you can completely cut off someone who you shared something as wonderful as what they had. Danny understands it though. (Wow - that...went on for a while. Sorry.)
Ramiele- OMG I love all my BFFs! I'm so awesome and so are all my friends! When I get done singing I'm totally going to text Danny and see if he was watching! Whatever. Nice fucking hat. It almost distracts me from that thing covering your midsection. This is awful. Chip: "It's time for her to go." Damn! It is what it is. Since we were watching this late, I voted 4 and 6 while she sang and was judged. I don't have time.
Bottom 3 of Ramiele, Chikeze, and KLC, with Chikeze going home. That's not what I want, but that is my prediction. Also - David H last week - we didn't discuss. WTF? He wasn't gonna win, but still. Gay stripper. One gay stripper yeah. It took us sooooo long, to find out. And we found out.
The recaps- Michael sounds fine! WTF is wrong with Chip and the judges? Whatever-David Cook just sounds like a pro compared to these other assholes. He's the man. We hope he has a good career. Ooh- Castro's clip doesn't flatter his singing. Is this all a big joke to him? Basically, Kristy really, really must go. I mean, I hate Ramiele and all, but Kristy must go. My overall (not just tonight) official rankings (worst to first)
Kristy
Chikezie
Ramiele
Amanda
Sayesha
Brooke
Castro
Carly
Archuleta
Michael
David Cook bitches!!!
6 comments:
Ok, I don't really like AI, but I watch just to be a part of the running commentary. So here are my thoughts about last night:
Amanda is energetic, but i just don't like her voice.
KLC was horrible, but cute.
David has a great voice, but the presence of a Star Search contestant.
Michael picked the wrong song b/c it required so much range and he just couldn't go there.
Brooke was just weird with the sitting and then the twirling and the swaying. And does she ever shut up when the judges are talking?
I don't know what to say about David b/c i was so distracted by trying to figure out when and why he was going to appear in the Geico commercial.
Carly picked a great song and i felt she tried to overpower it, but Gina liked it. I am partial to the Sarah Mclachlan version.
Castro is just goofy, and I couldn't believe Simon said that he liked it b/c of his facial expressions, but then he explained it was b/c of how goofy he looked.
Did Syesha even sing, i was distracted by the boobies. Actually, i thought she was really good, if only she wouldn't do the voice quiver on the high notes.
Gina and i disagreed on Chikezie b/c i liked the intro and then thought he tried to alter his voice too much for the bluegrass section.
Asia'n is what, 4'5" tall? And the outfit ... ughhh. Go join your sorority sisters at the bake sale b/c you are horrible.
I want to see Asia'n, KLC and Dreads go sooner rather than later. Top 3 of the night were Danny, Syesha and Carly.
IMHO (that was for you, Asia'n!) I think I like the format where you talk back to me better than the parallel commentaries. This is mainly because I like to pretend that we are watching it together and talking, instead of being hundreds of miles away from each other and apparently ignoring each other's phone calls. Really though- did you call my cell? I didn't hear the phone!
I didn't get to watch the whole thing yet - I did catch the first three -
I like Amanda, I am SO SICK of the judges telling people to be true to themselves, don't change their style, etc.. etc..., then tell them they have to do it differently because they always sound the same. Did the same thing to Chris Daughtry, totally annoying!
I refrain from comment on KLC. She makes me long for the days of kicking of 4 people/night.
I hate to do this, because I really love David A., but I have to say that he licks his lips WAY too much. I hate to point it out, because now that's all you are going to see, but there is it.
I now dread watching the rest after your comments, especially Jason and what I call his "bird face".
What a horrible night. It was painful to watch. Even Charlie wasn't really into it.
Amanda - I like her but her lack of range irks me. I'm afraid of what we'll get next week since Paula told her to sing a ballad. Ouch! It's gonna hurt!
KLC - ugh! that wais excrutiating. who told her that changing the harmony that way would sound okay? Terrible.
David A. - of course he was great, but the cute, breathless, and awe of the fact that girls are screaming for him is totally getting on my nerves.
Michael - hotness...did he sing? I didn't notice. All I could focus on were his perfect teeth and his beauty.
Brooke - okay, that just summed up her whole personality in a minute forty. Dorky, goofy, awkward, and sweet. I like her but that performance was AWFUL. And did she really go there with the yellow dress? It completely sucked.
David - it was good but I was way too disturbed by the voice box. Not cool in my opinion. I agree with Simon in that it was a predictable performance. (I also agree with Kerry that it's annoying for the judges to encourage them to stay true to themselves and then turn around and say they are being predictable.)
Carly - eh...she's good, blah, blah, blah. I was laughing about her justification for singing BlackBird since she has had such a difficult past breaking into the industry. I agree with Shannon about the crazy eyes. That close-up shot they did at the end made me jump a little.
Castro - I'm so over him. Yes, he's cute and yes, his goofiness is somewhat charming. But really, he's just not good.
Syesha - yes! Her boobs were amazing. And that dress was hot! The performance was great but there a few moments that made me cringe a little. At one moment, it sounded like she might cry, but it was just her voice giving out on her. I like her.
Chikeze - All I can think of is Hootie and that bothers me A LOT. I liked his performance last week but this week, it was just too much. I'd like to see him stick around, though.
Remiele - she bugs the hell out of me. The outfit was hideous, the performance was still boring, and she needs to leave. Soon. And Simon thinks she has a good personality? Whatev.
Is that everybody? I hope Remiele goes home. Even though I think KLC should also go, I can at least stomach her for one more week.
I'll bet she slept with one guy in her life, and only once, and when she hangs out with people, she still talks about it in a way that no one else can understand what it was like to love a guy and share something like that, and it was so devastating when he dumped her that summer because he was headed off to college at USC and she was stuck hostessing at the sushi place while studying for the GED, and she still drunk texted him on the weekends, but recently she found out that he changed his number, and she doesn't understand how you can completely cut off someone who you shared something as wonderful as what they had. Danny understands it though.
this just made my day! i can't stand that girl and whoever allows her to go on stage in those outfits should be shot. or given a raise. i'm not sure.
as for AI--wtf with all the beatles?? i secretly wanted david a. to mess up again b/c he makes me want to puke. but he didn't and i guess i can swallow the chunks for now.
KLC really isn't that bad is she? i guess i always think of her singing amazing grace and selling her horse and i want the judges to be nice to her. there's no way she's leaving after busting out the skirt though.
amanda bores the shit out of me. i can't wait until they fix her hair. i bet she's the one who gets Mr. Dredlocks high every night.
david cook, the rocker guy, right? i like him. he's really good. it took balls to use the frampton-thingie. i've never even seen one of those before. hairplugs would be good.
i couldn't watch carly without laughing about steph's comments last week--she totally gets more and more irish!
no one said anything about paula totally trying to explain away michael's suckiness due to the earplug thing he wasn't even wearing? i can't believe it. that was some funny shit. his hotness is wearing off IMHO. esp when he pulled out the dead friend dedication on the song.
syesha's breasts were great! her arms looked like dude's arms though in the close up. she should wear a shorter dress with a lower neckline next week. and yes, go back to curly hair.
is that it? oh dredlocks...i still fall for the charm. i wanna see him rock out. warren predicted he'd do helter skelter. too bad.
oh and brooke--i thought it was cute that she was loosening up and twirling around and having fun. what's wrong with that? maybe they'll do a third week of beatles so she can do yesterday like simon suggested...and that pipsqueak david a can sing imagine again and make paula cry.
Kerry - thank you for noting the lip licking of one David A!!! Carrie says this to me every week, and I always forget to mention it on here!
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