Five. Five Left. Five Left on AI.

So just me tonight, since we had a school assembly followed by a flat tire, followed by the fact that we didn't tape the early episode. Carrie can input later in the comments.

Really weird that we're already down to five! Really weird that this is the top 5. This feels like the 2006 NBA Draft. Three weeks left. I was reading in USA Today today that people have spent the whole season thinking Lambert and Gokey would be the final two, but Kris has had a late surge and is messing up that scenario. I'm so glad! I still can't believe Lambert is gonna win. This is so unsatisfying - I want Kris or Allison to win, but if they do win, I'm not gonna do cartwheels or anything.

Rat Pack-era standards- how is this gonna be? Probably boring. They need to bring John Stevens out of retirement for comedic value. At least Ricky and the band will be awesome. Oh Kris, you with your tie a little loose. . .mmmmmm. Nice shot of the makeup artist trying to cover Lambert's horrible skin. Ooof. Ha - Dane Cook is embarrassed by Lambert in HD. Ooooh, Jamie Foxx! Sweet! Yeah, um, for the Rat Pack week, let's pick a comedian turned actor turned singer who actually has no musical prowess at all. Weird weird choice. They should have had him as guest judge on "studio magic voice machine" week. I was just reading someone who said they always think about how ugly he was on In Living Color and then they think, Money sure does make you look good! Heh. Glad it's not just (fly) girls it works that way for. I hate to say this, but I am often horribly annoyed by Jamie Foxx. Always has that "thinks he's too cool but actually isn't" vibe about him. Then again, he still cracks me up from time to time. There is potential for a lot of eye rolling from me tonight, and potential to laugh. I just prefer Jamie Foxx not in front of a crowd - he seems more likeable when he is just being himself and not douching it up.

All Kris has to do to stay in the competition is keep looking like that. Yum. I will preemptively say that Carrie agrees.

Oh hell yes- a SYTYCD commercial! May 21!!! Best reality competition on TV. I can't wait. Yes - easily one of the best 2 reality shows on TV, and my favorite show of the summer. Steph - maybe we should recap that one too!!

Kris - Back to Kris, after than rude commercial break. The Way You Look Tonight tonight! I just made that joke! This song always makes me think of that Friends where Chandler give Monica the mix tape that Janice made him - Monica asks if The Way You Look Tonight is on it, and he is like, sure. (I know Janice actually sings on My Funny Valentine, but that song reminds me more of The Talented Mr. Ripley. Weird.) OMG- did Jamie Foxx just say something about performing the throat Olympics? I will totally perform the throat Olympics. Call me, Kris! Yeah, "Throat Olympics" is in the repertoire now. I'm watching him sing with a goofy grin on my face- my crush on him is embarrassing at this point. Even Chip has to admit it- that was NICE. Yes, very pleasant and boring and all. That's what we call the total package. Kara calls him a "dark horse", which is weird considering he has never been in the bottom 3 and is generally considered in the top 2 at this point. Then again, the judges have Lambert that far ahead. Aaaand, Simon says that performance was wet. I really can't add anything to that. Except that for me, that means it was a successful performance. I'm just saying. I don't know what that was supposed to mean either, except in a naughty way that I am glad you made the joke so I didn't have to! But Simon doesn't think he can win?

Allison - Allison looks really pretty. She sounds good, as always, but I think this isn't her best genre. She needs to rock! But this is solid. I thought she sounded good, and I guess she needed to take things down a notch this week. But yeah, I still fast forwarded. Randy just said a lot of confusing stuff. Brittany Murphy, Pink, no matter what other people say, I think that was good, etc. Whaa? At this point, a comparison to Brittany Murphy is an insult. Kara wants her in the finals- thank you, Kara. Paula has been waiting on her to sing a ballad. Since when, the last time she did one? This is like her third ballad, off the top of my head. I hate that my top two have already sung- we still have more than halfway to go! Simon - twice now has said something to the effect that he doesn't know if the contestant can win. I know he is trying to say that they should do better and all, but it seems like he is also asking them, why are they even trying? He just comes across as an asshole, when he is really trying to make a constructive comment.

Let's talk about the judges. Randy is wearing some kind of bead necklace that looks like a 10-yr-old made it. Last week it was a rainbow necklace, I swear! Kara looks beautiful, love that color. Paula almost looks awesome, but that dress is just a bit off. I think if there was only on thingy on the chest rather than one on each side, that might work. And Simon is rocking the black t-shirt, of course.

Matty G- did we have to give him an excuse to wear that hat? When I saw that hat again, this happened. Seriously though, he's cute. Dude - he finally says that he went to WMU! I KNEW IT! I was just joking the whole time, but it is just one of those things - the connection between that city and university is greater than Memphis and the University of Memphis, and greater than Ypsi and EMU. Last Wednesday, he was definitely the best dancer in the awesome, AWESOME Paula-choreographed dance number last week. Western! Jamie Foxx had actual advice there- interesting. Yeah, I am actually not bothered by him so far tonight! Let's see. Chip says he didn't change the key. I'm trying to take this seriously, but I'm afraid Janice ruined this song for me. I love you Chandler Bing!

(OK - when AI happens, I usually watch with Carrie and take notes, then go blog with Steph's email. Tonight, I just came in here after each singer instead of watching the whole thing, just so it would be fresher in my mind. The point is, I NEVER read Steph's entire email before I start writing. I say this because this is the third or fourth time now we have made the same specific joke, and I want to defend myself that I am not cheating about this. We really separately made the Friends reference - neither of us knew that the other would make that joke. I know this is an easier reference here than our random Cure joke a few weeks back, but whatever. Back to the show.)

This is good. Everyone is on point this week. Oh, Jamie Foxx wanted him to hold the last note but instead he did the throat Olympics. Sounded good, though. Also when I watch the show alone, I can fast forward through performances - like I did here! Oh, crowd, don't bitch at Randy- it was in fact pitchy in some spots. I can't stand his hat tonight - it really looks like he came in out of the rain for some reason. Like, the suit says "respectable guy", the hat says "homeless in the 1930s". You know, if you assume that Gokey and Lambert are going to make it no matter what, then I guess Matt is my pick to go home. Although obviously I want it to be Gokey or Lambert. Wouldn't it be awesome if the final three were Kris, Allison and Matt? Sigh.

Gokey. You know, they have performed in the order I like them. In case I hadn't made my preferences clear. Wow - you are exactly right! That is interesting. Gokey really does look better with the glasses. I was thinking the opposite - he looks like Robert Downey Jr in an almost uncanny way without the glasses though. He doesn't rock the contacts like Mom does! Congrats on ditching the specs, Ma. I'm glad the contacts are working for you. You'll get used to them, I promise. Back to Gokey- he was smart to put a little bluesy thing on this- that is where his voice is strong. It started kind of boring, but all of a sudden this is really good! He's moving on stage, but it's not horribly awkward, plus he's singing his ass off. Well done, dude. The last half of that song was great. Yeah - I listened to the whole thing for the first time tonight, which isn't saying much, but I did think he was good. Paula said she was going to keep this short, then stuttered over her short answer, then said a bunch of stuff anyway. I hate it, but I kind of agree with Simon here- that was a more memorable performance than the first three. I still liked Kris better, because he's smooth. Plus his face.

A-Lamb - Aaaah, Lambert. The spawn of the devil. Not really, the spawn of the devil rocks. In the "mentor session" they show him screaming and sticking out his tongue. Ugh. Here we go- I feel like I'm watching a Queen concert, only without a vocal as good as Freddie Mercury's. I get the feeling Adam has played the emcee in a performance or two of Cabaret. Who's with me here? I linked to a video of him at a cabaret last week! I hope he falls down those stairs... Oh, this is horrible. Sounds like a lounge act, but not in a fun Rat Pack way. Oh seriously, his win will be worse than Taylor Hicks'. Worse than American Beauty! Not as bad as Crash, but still pretty bad. Kara just said he was sleazy. Hee! Kara also said that her mouth drops open every week when he sings - YES! We have made that joke about the judges numerous times with Adam Lambert! Randy says it was a "little theatrical" - no shit. Simon even makes fun of that. Of course, when they have said that in the past, it has been a put down every single time until now.

And ironically, Taylor Hicks is performing tomorrow. Suck on that, Mr. President! (Of course Fox isn't showing his news conference. Whatever! Supermajority, bitches!)