Wednesday, February 27, 2008

AI Top 10 girls

Irish - works at the Irish bar next door to the sushi place where Asia'n works, both located in the Obvious Hills mini-mall off Route 9. OK - moments ago, Carrie said that she thinks Skunk will do Barracuda, but Irish steals the Heart song here. I can't hear her, because I am screeching "Craa-aaa-aaaazy on You" over her. Whatever - I am more over her right arm tattoo than I am over the right arm tattoo of your Best Original Screenplay winner.

West Syesha - Did commercials, and is hot. Does "Me and Mr(s). Jones", a song that I love. Does it well. Randy doesn’t like it! They keep calling Simon “Mr. Happy”, which is what my friend Jim Baur may have named his dong in high school. But no one likes it – I guess I am biased since I like the song and the chick.

Brooke – Apparently runs a lucrative hair salon based out of her bathroom, even though she dropped out of beauty school. Sing that song that’s about me. Also, can’t stay in the sun too long, or she will burn. The song is by Carly Simon, which may or may not be the same person as Carole King Tapestry, who Brooke is maybe supposed to look like? She does a good job, I reckon.

Asia’n – admitted she cried last week, saying “I guess I started early”, which is the same reason Carrie always cries. Also, is a Polynesian dancer. Her Polynesian dance studio is luckily next to the sushi place over at Obvious Hills. “Don’t Leave Me This Way” – I just want a moratorium on performing this song – I am just not a fan. I love her, but this song is just ugh to me. Simon agrees! He says what we all are thinking! PS – I just finished the Ben and Jerry’s that I opened when we first started watching AI. Don’t underestimate the power of ice cream on a sore throat.

KLC – Is a tomboy, and I would totally have to man-up in order to please her sexually. Does another song that I hate, but looks hawt. Randy actually liked it – I mean, she is good, but boring. Simon says she should be more country – he should pick up her country album. I think she has one already.

Skunk – or maybe we should call her Lion tonight! Nice mane! Actually looks 23 with the bandana over her hair. How did they find a bandana with that much material? She does one of my 3 favorite Kansas songs. Not really that good tonight. The judges rip on her – after the show, she needs to find the Wizard in order to get her courage back.

Young chick – Has that Monk-ish thing where the foods can’t touch on the plate. Sings Olivia Newton John – well, yells it somewhat. Forgettable, but at least I like that song better than most of the others. I dunno – she needs to borrow Erin Andrews’ invisalign for the gap.

Lushington. ATL fire poster child. Ground Zero, 9/11, Star Spangled Banner. Some song I don’t know. I don’t like it. Yawn. Pee – too much water. Blog – nothing to type. Randy – asks her what she thinks, because he stopped listening. Mad vocal skills. Paula – words. Both of us have never heard a female sing this song. Simon – admits song sucks. Next.

kd malloy – Sings opera in the bathroom. Maybe Brooke can cut her hair while she is in there. Sings Heart, brutally at first. Seems like a princess – I could never date this chick. She really needs to go home. Does not hear a word that the judges say to her. Stuck up to a degree that Carrie and I both hate her.

Asia’h – was a cheerleader. Does cheers in thinly veiled effort to curry my favor. Works. Blows a tire at one point during the song, but recovers. Sings well, but is wrongly convinced that vibrato is a good thing – Pavarotti has ruined it for everyone. Paula is incoherent at this point. Simon RIPS her by saying that she isn’t a good singer. Ouch!

Kadie and Lushington going home.

2 comments:

Stephanie said...

Irish- We thought she was tons better than last week, and somehow looked much better too. I couldn't understand why the judges didn't like it. If she had gone last they would have loved it, because everything else was kind of a suckfest. She won the night for me.

Syesha- I am completely infatuated with her. She is one of the most beautiful people I have ever seen! I can't get past it. I thought she was great tonight, and can't figure out what was going on with the judges that they didn't. The judges and I completely disagree through the first two contestants.

Brooke- Much better this week. She is still lovely. But Shannon, my girl crush is not on Brooke! (See above)

Asia'n- I didn't like when she was talking to Ryan about crying because C"olton left, and he was one of our little crew of four. . ." Now she seems cliquish (sp?) and snobby to me. Plus she is doing a diva thing with her mouth and her hair is on my nerves. I thought she sounded good, though.

KLC- I have to admit this to you all right now- I openly hate her. I hate her hair, which needs a trim, I hate her weird googly eyes, I hate her thin top lip, I hated her outfit, I hate that she used to be signed to Britney Spears Productions (affiliated with Arista- I'm not making that up) and I hate how boring and forgettable her singing is. I couldn't begin to tell you anything she has sung on AI except Amazing Grace. That said, I understand she has a kickin' bod and you boys can't get over her.

Amanda was horrible, but I love her because she is the exact opposite of KLC in every way. But man- she looked and sounded brutal! Her mom is so much of a MILF that we had to pause and discuss it when they showed her in the crowd. I just wish Nick Arojo would go to LA and do something with her hair!

Gap Tooth- Again with the boring blonde chicks. She's cute, she's young, she sings OL-N. What is there to say.

Lushington- I love her. Again with the cheekbones! Weird song choice. Horrible, actually, because it put the crowd to sleep. However, she sang it beautifully.

Cross-eyed- Boring and blonde. Well, I take that back. She was too horrible for me to write it off as boring. It was actually remarkably bad. The band rocked that shit, though!

Asia'h- It's time for me to admit something. When that Celine Dion special came on TV a couple of weeks ago, I totally recorded it and watched it. Most of it sucked, but when she did Power of Love I said, Chip, remember this when some poor sap tries to do this song on AI. There's just no way. So for Asia'h to do a song that Celine has recently covered? She lost me at hello. And clearly her voice couldn't handle it. When will these kids learn?

Any two of these girls could get sent home tonight and I'd neither care nor be surprised. I can't read this group at all. I guess Irish and Syesha are my top two girls, but that barely gets them into my overall top six.

Stan said...

I know, they all sucked! Isn't the last person supposed to be a show stopper? Well if you want to go home disgusted, she did the trick!

I thought Connie did very well, and she certainly gave it everything she had.

Syesha is really beautiful. I felt like her song was too slow. Not the actual song, just how she did it.

Brooke was lovely as well, and had a whole 70s thang. I wish she would end he song with a word, rather than a sound.

Ramielle - that was yuck! I cannot take her hair and I agree w/ stephanie on her clique issues.

Kristy Lee - whatever, we see you boobs, they're nice. Eat a cheeseburger.

Amanda, I so wanted that to be good, to make up for the hideous site that was her hair, but it wasn't good. I voted for her b/c I guess she makes the other blond clones nervous with her butch, and I want to keep that up.

Alaina - gap tooth was surprisingly good. I do think that was a good song choice for her, because she's kind of ridiculous and the Grease thing fits her.

Lushington - I like her, but I think she sounds like she has a hole in her nose or something, it's a very wierd nasal quality. I liked her arrangement.

Kady - I got nothing.

Asiah - just horrible.

I think Ramiele and Kristy should go home tonight, but any of the blondes will do.