Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Five. Five Left. Five Left on AI.

So just me tonight, since we had a school assembly followed by a flat tire, followed by the fact that we didn't tape the early episode. Carrie can input later in the comments.

Really weird that we're already down to five!
Really weird that this is the top 5. This feels like the 2006 NBA Draft. Three weeks left. I was reading in USA Today today that people have spent the whole season thinking Lambert and Gokey would be the final two, but Kris has had a late surge and is messing up that scenario. I'm so glad! I still can't believe Lambert is gonna win. This is so unsatisfying - I want Kris or Allison to win, but if they do win, I'm not gonna do cartwheels or anything.

Rat Pack-era standards- how is this gonna be? Probably boring. They need to bring John Stevens out of retirement for comedic value. At least Ricky and the band will be awesome. Oh Kris, you with your tie a little loose. . .mmmmmm. Nice shot of the makeup artist trying to cover Lambert's horrible skin. Ooof. Ha - Dane Cook is embarrassed by Lambert in HD. Ooooh, Jamie Foxx! Sweet! Yeah, um, for the Rat Pack week, let's pick a comedian turned actor turned singer who actually has no musical prowess at all. Weird weird choice. They should have had him as guest judge on "studio magic voice machine" week. I was just reading someone who said they always think about how ugly he was on In Living Color and then they think, Money sure does make you look good! Heh. Glad it's not just (fly) girls it works that way for. I hate to say this, but I am often horribly annoyed by Jamie Foxx. Always has that "thinks he's too cool but actually isn't" vibe about him. Then again, he still cracks me up from time to time. There is potential for a lot of eye rolling from me tonight, and potential to laugh. I just prefer Jamie Foxx not in front of a crowd - he seems more likeable when he is just being himself and not douching it up.

All Kris has to do to stay in the competition is keep looking like that. Yum. I will preemptively say that Carrie agrees.

Oh hell yes- a SYTYCD commercial! May 21!!! Best reality competition on TV. I can't wait. Yes - easily one of the best 2 reality shows on TV, and my favorite show of the summer. Steph - maybe we should recap that one too!!

Kris - Back to Kris, after than rude commercial break. The Way You Look Tonight tonight! I just made that joke! This song always makes me think of that Friends where Chandler give Monica the mix tape that Janice made him - Monica asks if The Way You Look Tonight is on it, and he is like, sure. (I know Janice actually sings on My Funny Valentine, but that song reminds me more of The Talented Mr. Ripley. Weird.) OMG- did Jamie Foxx just say something about performing the throat Olympics? I will totally perform the throat Olympics. Call me, Kris! Yeah, "Throat Olympics" is in the repertoire now. I'm watching him sing with a goofy grin on my face- my crush on him is embarrassing at this point. Even Chip has to admit it- that was NICE. Yes, very pleasant and boring and all. That's what we call the total package. Kara calls him a "dark horse", which is weird considering he has never been in the bottom 3 and is generally considered in the top 2 at this point. Then again, the judges have Lambert that far ahead. Aaaand, Simon says that performance was wet. I really can't add anything to that. Except that for me, that means it was a successful performance. I'm just saying. I don't know what that was supposed to mean either, except in a naughty way that I am glad you made the joke so I didn't have to! But Simon doesn't think he can win?

Allison - Allison looks really pretty. She sounds good, as always, but I think this isn't her best genre. She needs to rock! But this is solid. I thought she sounded good, and I guess she needed to take things down a notch this week. But yeah, I still fast forwarded. Randy just said a lot of confusing stuff. Brittany Murphy, Pink, no matter what other people say, I think that was good, etc. Whaa? At this point, a comparison to Brittany Murphy is an insult. Kara wants her in the finals- thank you, Kara. Paula has been waiting on her to sing a ballad. Since when, the last time she did one? This is like her third ballad, off the top of my head. I hate that my top two have already sung- we still have more than halfway to go! Simon - twice now has said something to the effect that he doesn't know if the contestant can win. I know he is trying to say that they should do better and all, but it seems like he is also asking them, why are they even trying? He just comes across as an asshole, when he is really trying to make a constructive comment.

Let's talk about the judges. Randy is wearing some kind of bead necklace that looks like a 10-yr-old made it. Last week it was a rainbow necklace, I swear! Kara looks beautiful, love that color. Paula almost looks awesome, but that dress is just a bit off. I think if there was only on thingy on the chest rather than one on each side, that might work. And Simon is rocking the black t-shirt, of course.

Matty G- did we have to give him an excuse to wear that hat? When I saw that hat again, this happened. Seriously though, he's cute. Dude - he finally says that he went to WMU! I KNEW IT! I was just joking the whole time, but it is just one of those things - the connection between that city and university is greater than Memphis and the University of Memphis, and greater than Ypsi and EMU. Last Wednesday, he was definitely the best dancer in the awesome, AWESOME Paula-choreographed dance number last week. Western! Jamie Foxx had actual advice there- interesting. Yeah, I am actually not bothered by him so far tonight! Let's see. Chip says he didn't change the key. I'm trying to take this seriously, but I'm afraid Janice ruined this song for me. I love you Chandler Bing!

(OK - when AI happens, I usually watch with Carrie and take notes, then go blog with Steph's email. Tonight, I just came in here after each singer instead of watching the whole thing, just so it would be fresher in my mind. The point is, I NEVER read Steph's entire email before I start writing. I say this because this is the third or fourth time now we have made the same specific joke, and I want to defend myself that I am not cheating about this. We really separately made the Friends reference - neither of us knew that the other would make that joke. I know this is an easier reference here than our random Cure joke a few weeks back, but whatever. Back to the show.)

This is good. Everyone is on point this week. Oh, Jamie Foxx wanted him to hold the last note but instead he did the throat Olympics. Sounded good, though. Also when I watch the show alone, I can fast forward through performances - like I did here! Oh, crowd, don't bitch at Randy- it was in fact pitchy in some spots. I can't stand his hat tonight - it really looks like he came in out of the rain for some reason. Like, the suit says "respectable guy", the hat says "homeless in the 1930s". You know, if you assume that Gokey and Lambert are going to make it no matter what, then I guess Matt is my pick to go home. Although obviously I want it to be Gokey or Lambert. Wouldn't it be awesome if the final three were Kris, Allison and Matt? Sigh.

Gokey. You know, they have performed in the order I like them. In case I hadn't made my preferences clear. Wow - you are exactly right! That is interesting. Gokey really does look better with the glasses. I was thinking the opposite - he looks like Robert Downey Jr in an almost uncanny way without the glasses though. He doesn't rock the contacts like Mom does! Congrats on ditching the specs, Ma. I'm glad the contacts are working for you. You'll get used to them, I promise. Back to Gokey- he was smart to put a little bluesy thing on this- that is where his voice is strong. It started kind of boring, but all of a sudden this is really good! He's moving on stage, but it's not horribly awkward, plus he's singing his ass off. Well done, dude. The last half of that song was great. Yeah - I listened to the whole thing for the first time tonight, which isn't saying much, but I did think he was good. Paula said she was going to keep this short, then stuttered over her short answer, then said a bunch of stuff anyway. I hate it, but I kind of agree with Simon here- that was a more memorable performance than the first three. I still liked Kris better, because he's smooth. Plus his face.

A-Lamb - Aaaah, Lambert. The spawn of the devil. Not really, the spawn of the devil rocks. In the "mentor session" they show him screaming and sticking out his tongue. Ugh. Here we go- I feel like I'm watching a Queen concert, only without a vocal as good as Freddie Mercury's. I get the feeling Adam has played the emcee in a performance or two of Cabaret. Who's with me here? I linked to a video of him at a cabaret last week! I hope he falls down those stairs... Oh, this is horrible. Sounds like a lounge act, but not in a fun Rat Pack way. Oh seriously, his win will be worse than Taylor Hicks'. Worse than American Beauty! Not as bad as Crash, but still pretty bad. Kara just said he was sleazy. Hee! Kara also said that her mouth drops open every week when he sings - YES! We have made that joke about the judges numerous times with Adam Lambert! Randy says it was a "little theatrical" - no shit. Simon even makes fun of that. Of course, when they have said that in the past, it has been a put down every single time until now.

And ironically, Taylor Hicks is performing tomorrow. Suck on that, Mr. President! (Of course Fox isn't showing his news conference. Whatever! Supermajority, bitches!)

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

AI Seven Redux

So, we get the top 7 again, and again Matt G and Lil will be in the bottom and will go home. Ryan says there is an unprecedented amount of pressure. Because each week has more pressure than the last? Then he can say that every week, right?

I like Anoop's scruff.

Getting right to it! No packages tonight - swish! This could be awesome- if Lil can't do I'm Every Woman, then she needs to go home. Let me rock you, Chaka Kahn, it's all I wanna do. Chip: "Damn- that booty be poppin." True- you can see every stitch of her thong in that outfit. I can't help but sing when she asks me to. I'm every woman! She finally picked the right song for her. Carrie says, yeah she maybe isn't the best like we thought she was. It just wasn't awesome. Although I imagine I'll be able to say that about everyone, because this season sucks.

So yes, Randy and Kara usually say the same thing. Paula says that Lil had no voice yesterday, as if that changes the fact that the performance was underwhelming. Is that Vince Neil? I think the little street cred that was left after The Surreal Life is now gone after appearing in the AI crowd without a teenaged daughter or something. There should only be three judges. I read in USA Today today that the producers considered every possibility for last week, including my choice, which was Simon and an alternating judge for each performance. That would have ruled- he's the only one we care about. And he's right- this is probably it for Lil. Too little, too late. I love that they always ask her to talk back. Memphis. Yes. Allow me to say, Kara looks really hot tonight. But yeah, seeing closeups of Lil's face was rough just then. They have destroyed her will to perform right now, and I just hope she goes home so I don't have to watch the judges judge her anymore.

Kris - Cutie Patootie has an acoustic guitar. Rule. Ooooh, She Works Hard For the Money. I don't think this is a disco song. Chip predicts a David Cook-esque performance. I don't know- would they put him second? He's already cuter than everyone else! He sounds very contemporary. Ricky Minor is winning this round. Yes sir! Except that we love Kris, and we loved that. His vocals are flawless, his arrangement was original- we LOVED it. Yeah, that was better than expected - good job, my new favorite! I dare the judges to be asses. I will cut them all out of my will. OK yes, that could go on his record. Did Paula just say that? I didn't really get it at first either. What a weird thing to say. Simon: threadbare white t-shirt. Even Chip, who wears undershirts too often, wouldn't wear one that is see-through. All this talk about Kris's underwear, I have to say- I don't care what kind it is, it would look great on my floor. Hey-O! That was Chip's favorite performance of the season. He's right- this season sucks. That was the high.

Danny- I'm going to dance- be back in a bit. Dude, I love this song. Good job Gokey! Carrie says, is this song about losing someone?! She wasn't being facetious, she was asking honestly. Vince Neil liked it! But let me say- that was AWESOME! The only Gokey performance I've ever loved! Know why? Not about his dead wife! (Seriously, if I see on the internet that his anniversary is in September, I will be PISSED.) (Seriously for me, I checked the lyrics online to see if the song really mentions September 21, or if that was the date his wife died or something.) Yes, Kara, his pitch was great. It actually is every week, he just combines it with boring and maudlin so I hate it. That, though, I loved. My first time. Also, though, Simon is right- he is so awkward on stage! The other reason I loved it was because I was dancing rather than watching. Made a big difference- he sounds like less of a douche than he looks, it seems. He gets bonus points for song choice. PS - my song choice for disco week? To just do the guy part on Take a Chance on Me by the Swedish supergroup Abba. But seriously, Tragedy or Nights on Broadway.

Allison- Chip does not think that rubber outfit she's wearing looks comfortable. He's probably right. It's safe, though! Badoom-cha! Dude - I was thinking the same thing, that I wish she was really hot and that she wasn't 16 when wearing that outfit. It is well established that I love Allison. She sounds awesome, this is fun, her hair doesn't look like ass. A win all around! Also- 16. She's sixteen! Jeebus. We said the same thing - 16?! She is our favorite, but barely holding off a surging Kris. Randy and Kara didn't like the arrangement - this show is no longer a singing contest, but now also a contest of how well you can redo songs to fit your style. I do agree- I didn't love that arrangement. She's just such a good singer! She, along with Kris (and probably Gokey) have the best vocal chops. Never pitchy. It just has to do with whether you like the person or not (sorry, Gokey). Paula just said that "the word 'compromise' does not belong in her musical library. Um, sure. Simon loved her! yay! Simon says that was a brilliant performance. Thank God.

Lambert- Whatever, I hate this guy. Carrie - I think I hate him worse because of the judges' reactions. He picks disco night for a ballad? Ugh. My entire notes: "Adam - If I Can't Have You." I left the room because I can't stand to look at him. Seriously, does Clay Aiken have incriminating pictures of Randy and Steve Perry or something? (Even funnier if you have a gay friend named Steve Perry like we do.) Why do they act like Adam is the best by a mile? He screeches! Dude - every single other season, Simon criticizes when something sounds too "cabaret". Which is literally HOW ADAM SINGS!! They also criticize something as too Broadway, which, um, here, but with Adam it is all apparently okay. Randy called Allison "overindulgent" tonight, btw. Just saying. I mean, that was okay, but not better than Kris! That was boring and screechy, plus he looks like that. Horrible. Is he just picking bad songs on a dare just to see what the judges say? To see if he can get them to be like, Just A Swangin' is totally awesome! I felt that! I can't believe you're out here on the front porch in this swang! (OK, I would like Lambert better if he sang that.) But seriously, Play that Funky Music. He already sang it on a week that wasn't disco week. Sweet, at least Simon threw in a gay joke. He's wrong, though- I won't remember it, plus the vocals weren't immaculate. They just were NOT.

Matty G - Stop it with the hat. Seriously, stop it. It is a disgrace to everyone who has died fighting overseas. I mean, it doesn't have anything to do with that, but I got nuthin. Staying Alive. Well, it's what Justin would pick. I'm actually surprised this isn't all in falsetto. Well, he is doing that thing where he has a faux lisp, but it isn't a lisp, it is just a faux "pronouncing your 's's like 'sh's, if that makes sense. Think of how Six says "Gaius". It's good! I know this isn't saying much, but I like it better than Adam. I mean really, I'm trying to understand where the judges are, and I can't. I'd rather a little bit of soul hidden in a karaoke disco performance than the bullshit that was Adam Lambert's craptastic performance. Seriously, he could take a dump on the stage and they would praise it, then tell Lil and Matt that they sucked. OK, Randy, we have to disagree with you about this being a talented group. Although Chip disagrees with me! He thinks maybe they are really talented, it's just that none of them were likeable. I disagree. These people suck ass. But this was really good, relatively. Seriously, Kara has to compare him unfavorably to Lambert? Judging FAIL. OK - here is my biggest gripe of the whole show tonight - Kara says that Matt should have made it sound original like Lambert did - seriously, the most original performance of the night was Kris. Followed by Allison. Lambert did some stuff that I wasn't as familiar with, and it sounded like every other slow song he has done. Matt G was just boring tonight, and he has hit his ceiling in terms of sticking with this show, don't get me wrong. I just hate it when the judges compare someone to Adam, as if he is the basis of all comparison - can't they see that Adam is polarizing and not everyone is willing to get down on their knees for him? Yes, Steph - Judging FAIL indeed!!!

Anoop - Nice with the scruff. I can't believe he grew that in one week. Maybe he just trimmed down his eyebrows and glued them to his face. WTH? I like the scruff, but what is this song? He's singing it really well. And his dimples are adorable. I love this outfit. The suit, with pink sweater and sneakers? Awesome. His best frat boy outfit to date. He ends the song on a bad note, and he totally knows it. So does Randy. Ooof, that note was a little sharp. This is a cute performance and all, but this isn't a winner. He knew he missed that last note! Heh. He and Lil can go home. I'm fine with that. I mean, I'd prefer Adam, but you know. (Just so you know, every week- they show Anoop's parents and Chip says, "Anoop shall COME again!" Really, every week. Also? I laugh every week.) Isn't hee- eeee Pretty in Piiii -iink.

Lil-Itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face. Please vote her off, this is painful to watch.
Kris-Favorite ever this season. Probably the most marketable left.
Fun- Gokey! Moving on after his wife's death! Do you rememba? Da-a-a-ancin in Septemba?
Allison- Rocking! She is Black Cat-level Janet! Even with Kris on my depth chart right now.
Lambert- Oh God, that's worse even in retrospect! Like The Big Bang Theory - I just don't get it despite multiple viewings.
We loved Matt! Good use of the past tense.
Anoop- eh. Last note was much better during dress rehearsal, though! Hi, I'm in Delaware.

One last thought on Adam Lambert's performance - I don't like looking at it. It's creepy, and in bad taste, and it's just offensive to me. It makes me think of the horrible, frigid stage mothers who force their babies into it. It's kitsch. It's the opposite of art. It destroys art. It destroys souls. This is much more offensive to me than hardcore porno.

Chip, after the recap, reiterates his belief that they are all really good technical singers. He just hates all of them except Kris, and that's just a little bit. Really- worst group ever. I would welcome a Sanjaya at this point. Isn't that sad? Damn you, season eight!!!!

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

AI - Magnificen't Seven

So, Steph is puking or something, so her comments are abbreviated. Then again, this felt like an abbreviated episode of AI, so whatever. Hope you feel better sis!

The theme tonight is "songs from movies", and Quentin Tarantino is helping. I may have spelled that wrong, I don't care. Dude looks like a caricature of Bob Hope at this point. Plus, Carrie can't get over how weird his body looks, and how poorly he is aging. BTW, Tarintino is hilarious. Whisky Tango Foxtrot, Idol?

My song choice for this week? Someone actually performs it this week. If I lost the drawing for that song and had to pick another? Burn, Nine Inch Nails, Natural Born Killers. I am so badass. (OK, Let's be honest here - it would be I Could Have Danced All Night. Or this.)

Allison -
I love her, that was just okay.
Carrie doesn't think she is connecting with the music. Whatever - Silvio thought it was good, what else do you need, people?! Also, the thing that is annoying me most this season is the judges' love for Adam and Adam alone, really. Paula, I swear to God, starts off by saying to Allison, "you know I love Adam". Seriously, that is what she said. Then Simon says, "Lil can't win". This is the feedback Allison has been getting. Simon says she was really good this time, and Carrie is like, she has been good this whole time, jackasses, you are just now finally noticing.

Anoop - Anoop was flawless. (Well, except for the jacket.) His best performance ever. This is the second straight lame 90s song played for slow dances at middle schools. Randy is wearing a rainbow necklace - I don't know if this is a subtle show of Adam support or not, but it is weird. But yes, Anoop was great tonight.

Adam - Oh sweet Lord, here we go again. Let me just say, I giggled uncontrollably the whole time. That is all I will say. Carrie thinks he is solely theatrical, that he flips a switch and acts his performance, and has no soul behind anything he sings. I say that it is almost like he is doing a parody of someone else's parody of him. It is unreal and weird. Lambert plays Jack Nicholson in the Broadway version of Easy Rider. Or something. I get it, he's a "star" and owns the stage and all, but he's still just eh for me. Paula is just saying some words, and Simon is openly mocking her. nice! Yes! Rocky Horror. Man I love Simon.

Matt G - I just can't handle those douchy hats, dude. Jasuck Mraz wears that shit, and he is the worst human in human history. The hat is more a device used to introduce a stream of water into the body for medical or hygienic reasons than a hat. Oh Matty- this is a no. Especially after Anoop pwn3d Brian Adams already. Oof - he lost the pitch after his first foray into falsetto- that was rough. Not one of his top 3 performances. Randy - "The thing for me for you is..."

Gokey -needs his glasses. Endless Love. Is this song about your wife dying? I think so! I think it is more about when Stevie Wonder and Scott played tennis a few weeks back. Hey-O! This guy is such a whore. Carrie and I paused before to guess what song he would sing, and we brainstormed songs where someone dies. I said Against All Odds, but then again, I don't know if that is about someone dying or not. Carrie - "Tears in Heaven!" If next week is Bad Pearl Jam Songs That Are 50s Remakes week, he is doing Last Kiss. Easy. Simon can't bear to hear Paula talk tonight. That's hilarious. Also, I hate the fact that he doesn't get to comment after everyone. His is the only opinion I care about. Simon wishes that there was a 47 year old cat lady on the show this week. (Seriously - almost 5 million views, and the clip got posted on Saturday. Made Carrie cry.)

Kris - OK, the show is over, I am totally on board with this kid now, he has picked the best song ever. A song that was on my wedding iPod for crying out loud! Just an awesome song - I didn't hear him because I was singing too. This is the best moment of the show all season.
Another duet being sung by one person. But this song is awesome, is so romantic, and Kris is so gorgeous that I'm sure this will sound great. Seriously, every woman my age is in love with this song. He just won the 35-yr-old almost-cougar vote. I could cry. This is what Gokey wishes he could pull from my cold cold heart. You the MAN, Kris! (Like seriously, I just went to YouTube to watch the real version of Falling Slowly, and I cried AGAIN. That song owns me.)

Lil - The Rose - Carrie thinks Lil has lost weight. She didn't like this performance as much as I did. Lil looks great, but why is she singing an old white lady song? BTW, Lambert should have done this one. Hee! At least Lil gave it an R&B flavor. But still, this isn't good.
She is snippy to Simon - especially after his shot at her earlier in the show, I can't blame her. Lil is such a Memphis woman right there, talking back to Simon like that. That sounds like home to me. She just needs someone else to choose her songs. I hope she doesn't go home, but I think it might be near the end for her, and what a disappointment.

That's all I have time to type- must vote for Kris until time runs out. I agree - Kris won the night, and might be my new favorite from that. I am still rooting for the person who isn't Lambert to win it all though.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

The 8 Contestants left on American Idol

Before we get started, here is a rant from Steph about how this season is the suck:

Time to have this discussion: Is this the worst season of American Idol ever? I've read columnists who have stopped short of saying that, but have really hinted at it. Then randomly some guy in my office, who I never talk to about AI, said, "Is this the worst season ever or what? I just don't really like anyone. I don't look forward to anyone in particular." I was like, Yes! I mean, there are things I've liked, but I don't get excited about anything ahead of time. Other than bitching about it, of course. So maybe this is actually the best season ever! Carry on. I can say that this is the worst season, because normally I enjoy hating it - this season, I don't even enjoy that. Part of me enjoys the Sanjayas and the John Stevenses and all - this year, it is like, I would almost be content to just see who get voted off and maybe watch the finale.

A song from the year you were born! I hear the theme while in the other room and shout "Killing Me Softly!" I've looked up 1973 at least eight times now. Other choices include The Joker, Cherry Cherry, You're So Vain, Let Me Be There, Rocky Mountain High, Midnight Train to Georgia, Ramblin Man (I rock that shit on RB2), I Can't Stand the Rain, and my dream 1973 song, D'yer Mak'er. For me, 1976 - let's just say my choice was my favorite song of all time until it was ruined by an SNL skit involving cowbell. Seriously - Don't Fear the Reaper is on Rock Band 2 and I sang it in front of my niece and nephew - I never want to sing such an awesome song about suicide in front of them again. I mean, outside of Rock Band. Allison is going to sing something by Evanescence. God I'm old. I was thinking, when she was born, I was a sophomore at White Station. Sing some PJ!

OMG those pictures are so cute! I can't take it. Baby pictures of our judges- adorable. Dude - the keep showing the creepy bald guy from Fringe in the audience - if no one watches that show, it is a really creepy guy to just keep showing. Maybe it is just to get people talking about the show or something.

Lil looks good tonight. Good.

Starting quickly. . .

Gokey's Old Ass- 1980? Let's look up what would be the perfect song...All Out of Love, Air Supply. More a break up song than a dead wife song, but he could make it work. He starts sharp. Stand By Me. American Idol - are you ready to soft rock? He gets going quickly after the rough start. Very pleasant. Carrie - horrible arrangement. Me - it does actually sound like it is from 1980. Randy is hating on the arrangement- dude, this is the arrangement that allowed him to sing it for his birth year. Mickey Gilley? Sure. Anyway, that's fine.

Cutie Patootie - This is fun and relevant. This is a terrible song to begin with. And makes me feel old. Chip says, "OK, I'll buy that. I mean, I wouldn't actually BUY it, but I buy that arrangement." Heh. What is with the crowd thing - he was born in 1985, not 1968 when Elvis had his comeback special. Hot wife, but gigantic other family member. His figurative and literal biggest fans are side by side. OOoohh, the judges are harsh. I don't think so. Simon is really starting to wear out the whole "indulgent" thing. Totally on his word of the day toilet paper, and he needs to eat more fiber or something so we can get no descriptors. I thought that was a fun arrangement, and thought he was cute. Of course, I would prefer Rasberry Beret from 1985. Or Things Can Only Get Better. In Between Days, The Cure. I don't know if Mormons are aware of the Cure though.

Lil- Born in Memphis- like my kids! And my wifey! Good song choice, Tina Turner. You know, I thought so too until I heard it. Better song choice for Lil - Last Christmas by Wham!, or Alone Again by Dokken, or Darling Nikki. That outfit is flattering. This is best performance in a while. (Although, she could have done You Give Good Love. Or In My House by the Mary Jane Girls!) And the judges are about to rip on her! Kara and Carrie both note that she is weak in a lower register. Crap. Chip thinks she just looks "old" in that Melinda Doolittle way, that she can't come off at young. I feel a little bit like that, that it surprises me that she was born in the mid-80's because she seems my age. Chip agrees with Simon about the "copycat" thing too. I do worry about Lil- she just hasn't ever brought it in the way we assume she can. Now I wonder if she actually can- am I just imagining this, or did she blow us away at one point? Yeah, everyone is saying that she is overrated - I have had my blinders on because of the whole Memphis thing, so maybe she is. She still gets my vote, if I cared enough to vote. Also, I knew "Lil" came from "Lilly"!

Anoop- He sounds great, really. I hate that he died on House last night. My notes - "no surprise suicide from this guy tonight!" Stop stealing my notes woman! 1986- he really should have done Higher Love! Angel of Death, Slayer. Or In Between Days! Woah - holy crap, you just made my In Between Days joke! I swear to everyone that we came up with that independent of each other! Holy crap!! Have I mentioned how old I am? Randy with the Tarheel reference. Randy said, "Congratulations North Carolina, you guys worked it out!" Hee! He only speaks in cliches at this point! Nuke LaLoosh should be taking notes! I've already forgotten that happened last night. I'm too smitten with Josh. You know, after trying to buy into the hype that Michigan is hurting and we all need to root for the Spartans, I was kind of happy to see them lose, even though I hated seeing mouthbreather win it all. Still - I can't stand MSU's smugness about their basketball team and the fact that Michael Moore wears Sparty hats, not UMich hats. Also, AI makes me feel old, but now Memphis' coach is younger than I am.

Scotty Too Hotty - Aw, little baby Scott pictures is going to win him some votes! OK, I was going to look us some 1985 songs for him (Lay It Down, Ratt), but none would be this perfect for Scott. The Search is Over! Carrie - "Oh, it's THIS song! Couples Skate!!!" I'm glad his hair is better this week. This is good for him. I mean, it's pitchy, like you would expect, but still. Nice work using the guitar instead of piano. Oooh no, the big note was so wrong. I love that song, and it was a good choice for Scott, but ultimately he's just not a good singer. Yeah, I do like the Scott, but I think this might be the end. But he is really funny- his "punk" side. Ha! He does have a fun sense of humor. I'd enjoy getting a drink with this guy. Assuming people born in 1985 are old enough to drink. Dude - it is 1988 that people can drink. Which is even scarier.

Allison- 1992. Shoot me in the head. OK, she's singing a song from when Chip and Heather broke up. And she's awesome, of course. OMG- she could have done Baby Got Back! Or Smells Like Teen Spirit. Bitches Ain't Shit, Dr. Dre. Wow. But really, what would have better than Tennessee? I'm kidding. OK - Seriously, I think I know all the words to all of these. She ruled that song. Doesn't matter what she sings, really- she's the best and most consistent. I love her. I am just glad the judges judged her singing this week instead of being asses. Again.

Matty G- Dude - he was born in Dearborn, and at some point his family moved to the Zoo. Or he went to Western and just stayed out there after college. Who lives in the town they moved to for college? Still - born in 1985 (not stillborn in 1985) in Michigan - at some point, he had a big poster of Steve Yzerman on his bedroom wall. His family took him to a Wings game where both Joey Kocur and Bob Probert got into fights. More 1985! Yeah, is this 1985 thing something that Malcolm Gladwell needs to put in his addendum to Outliers? Part-time Lover. Perfect choice. Well, The Goonies Good Enough would have been the perfect choice... This is great, right in his "wheelhouse." Much better doing something a little funky rather than something douchey like The Fray. Hey - we liked him too, but he also dressed like it was 1985, am I right? I think he picked that out at the Neverland garage sale. And they rush through the stupid judges, since they won't have time for Adam otherwise. They love him, briefly. Thank goodness- I can't sit through four judges each time!

Adam- Uh, that's all the time we have, folks. My DVR didn't get that. Wow. I mean, I don't like Adam, but I certainly wanted to see him! Damn. Plus we have a DVR instead of a TiVo, and it sucks and doesn't actually turn to the channel it's recording, so I can't just rewind the current show. Sigh. I'll assume I would have hated it, but that the judges loved it.
Chockley- out!
OK - our TiVo cut off too, but I pay $2 extra a month to get west coast Fox, so I am determined to stay up and watch the late one, because Steph, Chip, and Carrie are all in bed at this point. Especially since I will already be taping Fringe. I never gave up on Pacey's show. Dude - he was in the Ducks movies. He has earned it. Still - you are about to get my recap and mine alone, so I will try to be as honest and thorough as I can be.
Adam Lambert - born in 1982. His dad says that he loved everything...except sports. Adam says that he preferred to play dressup and wear different costumes and all. Nature 1, nurture 0. What song will he be...oh frak, it is that song that I LOVE, that song from the end of Donnie Darko about the dreams in which I am dying are the best I've ever had. Great song. (PS - the other day in the car, we had a discussion where this song came up as possibly the most emo song of all time, up there with Paint it Black and Bela Lugosi's Dead.) So Adam sings this awesome song all gay and chubby and pockmarked (is he the emo ejo?). OK - here I go again - really, his voice is a joke. Male falsetto is NOT difficult at all to sing. I can sound like a frakking opera singer with my falsetto, it doesn't make me a good singer. I actually do an impression of Lambert's "singing" that is so spot on that it can make Carrie ROFL. Seriously here - I actually laughed at the last note that he hits. It wasn't a planned laugh - totally involuntary - it was just that bad. So the judges - Simon is like, "we are short on time, so only I get to speak" - then he gives him a freakin' STANDING O!?!??!?!? It wasn't even a sarcastic slow clapping standing O, but actual serious applause! What am I missing? Not only was it bad, but it was laughably bad!

Then again, I could have just stopped and instead I waited up to see what he did. So there's that. But still - this is like me reading the articles about the recruits that Memphis is losing because of Calipari leaving - I am reading them but not enjoying them. I talk about them, but I get no pleasure from it. With Lambert, I just feel it is comparable to 5 Fast 5 Furious taking the weekend box office - it seems to have so massive appeal to the American populace even though it is crap. So from now on, assuming no DVR mistakes, I will just leave the Lambert discussion up to Steph. I am fascinated by the fact that I don't get it, but I don't know if I care enough anymore to put forth the effort. He will win after getting saved one week. That is my prediction. Enjoy!