Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Finally the Finale

I love this stuff. I am on my feet clapping for the final two. The kids beg me to stop. Their teenage years are going to be a lot of fun for me. (bwahahahaa) We will be alternating between the TiVo of this and the Wings game. Priorities!

Good vs. evil, cute vs. ugly, guy next door vs. gay next door. We actually had a debate about Lambert's ugliness - I guess I think he is uglier than Carrie does. But yes, I want Kris to win pretty badly. Oh wait, he said "guyliner." Much worse, I think. Nothing wrong with being gay, but guyliner is just embarrassing. This is guyliner - Richard Alpert is just made that way. (Seriously though, every time they show Adam's total jock dad, we immediately blurt out "I love my dead gay son!" It's just a reflex at this point.") This is the first time in Idol history that my very favorite is going against my very least favorite in the finals. It's fun! My favorite is apparently dating Anoop now - good job Anoop.

Lambert- I think he's too theatrical. He bugs me. That said, this was my favorite of his crappy performances. We actually agree - not as much high pitched shreiking. Connor says, "It looks like he's walking on clouds!" Chloe says, "He's not yelling! He always yells!" Ha! Randy - wow, did he steal that outfit off a homeless guy? Is Randy colorblind? Did Scott personally choose this ensemble? Also, somewhere in the AI crowd, a 95 year old Anthony Hopkins is there applauding. What a weird celebrity sighting. Simon agrees with the theatrical. FINALLY. Chip has been waiting for him to say that all year!

Kris- Adorable, perfect, comfortable, smooth, fantastic. Plus, his face looks like that. Love him! Simon calls round one for Kris. Alright! You know, someone sings this song every season. Kris did a really great job, but I was pretty bored during the performance. Also, on my thoery of judges' bias - Randy says, I hope the Lakers win tonight, and you did a good job. Later in the show, Paula will call Adam "iconic". As for Kris? Good luck to Kobe and the Lakers. Just a bang up job by the judges this season. Really, on Thursday, Mary Murphy's blood curdling screams will seem like sagelike advice compared to Randy, Kara, and Paula.

Lambert- Change is Gonna Come. Uh, okay. No kidding. Will Kris be performing Strange Fruit? This is such an important song and so meaningful, the fact that they are having Lambert perform in his over the top, Broadway style is a disgrace to the song. This offends me much more than hard core pornography. Still - one of the greatest songs ever, of course they chose it for Lambert. What does Kris get, We Built This City on Rock and Roll? This suit is my favorite look of his all season, for what it's worth. I'm still not voting for him though. So what's left to say at this point? I love one and hate the other. Let's talk about Randy- this is his best outfit of the season too! Yes, if that is meant ironically! (We talked on the phone - we are really differing on Randy's suit tonight!) Kara says that she liked his interpretation, that you could feel the song - yeah, I got really angry about racial discord from Lambert tonight. Just some great commentary Kara. This is the song Rosa Parks listened to after MLK was assassinated, btw. I know that Lambert is just performing what they are making him perform with this song, so this commentary is more on the show than Lambert, even though I still don't like him. Oh wait, Lambert just started in with the yelling and the tongue, so I feel I need to comment on that. My comment is, Yuck. Put your tongue back in your mouth, and sing rather than shriek. Thanks. OK - we figured it out - Adam just performs, but he has no connection with the song. Carrie said that this is the first time ever that this song did not make her teary eyed. To me, it seems like he is an actor performing a song in a musical, not a singer singing a song at a concert. His disconnect is disconcerting, but at the same time, he would do great in Vegas.

Kris- Pride of Arkansas. . . I'm giving that one to Bill Clinton. But Kris can be second. What's Going On is a perfect choice for his style. Another song that could be on his album. Still though - a weak companion to Lambert's song. And another song that is important historically. Simon Fuller must be a total hippie. Also, I'm not sure I've mentioned this, but Kris is ADORABLE. That crooked mouth thing he's got going is just precious. Loved it. He was good and all, but totally at a disadvantage. He needed a showstopper type of song like Adam got, but he got one that sounded like something that some douche is playing on the quad with his buddies in an effort to pick up some freshman chicks. Plus, my favorite part of each season is when they give a contestant a song they have to sing, then criticize the song choice. Also, I love that Simon's shirt is unbuttoned to his navel. He is hilarious! The kids were like, What's up with his shirt? At dinner they were trying to impersonate his accent. It was awesome. Then I did Phoebe's impersonation of a British accent, a bit that has made Chip laugh consistently for like ten years now. Simon is right - give this round to Adam, but this is no fault of either contestant. The song choices were slanted. Have I mentioned that? Dear Simon: I would love to have Kris in my bedroom strumming along. What is the problem? Oh wait, I see what he's saying.

Lambert- He's going to sing the crappy single like he does, then Kris will sing it like he does, then it's up to us to vote for substance over style. I just hope this song doesn't mention unicorns and rainbows like Cook's coronation song did. Randy says, "You could sing the phone book! That wasn't the best though." BANG UP JOB by the judges tonight. Choice quotes from Chip: "This gives me a headache," and "That was a mess." Agreed. Also, Kara? Buh bye. Simon- Mountains and hurricanes- what? Oooh snap, Kara! But still- no magic rainbows. Next year's song needs to mention leprechauns. Yeah, not much to add here, except for the fact that 8 seasons in and the only winning song I remember is A Moment Like This. I am hoping for Adam to fail, but nothing personal against him, I just need to feel vindicated in the way I feel about him for some reason.

Kris- He just seems uncomfortable at first, and he misses some lyrics. Starts too low because he doesn't have Adam's range. But I don't care, because at least this doesn't give me a headache. It still doesn't make me happy. Also, DAMN Kris - good job on the wife selection! Too bad she is probably all Baptist and puts out once or twice a month. But if Kris wins, I'll smile when I flip past this on FM100. The judges are going to rip this- by far the pitchiest performance of Kris's career. He must hate singing this crap. You know, the few times that he was actually singing the song, he sang it better than Lambert and certainly connected with it better. Chip says, that was a mess too. That song is just a mess! Aw, Simon was sweet to him. And he smiled adorably! He's so cute!

It's 8:40 and I can't get through on the voting lines. I'll keep trying, though! I tried too! Tangent here - they get 3 numbers to call. How do you think the votes fall for each number? Lambert is 01, 03, and 05. Do you think they fall roughly 1/3 for each number? Does 01 get 40% and the other 2 lines get 30% each? Do you think more people call 05, thinking that they will have a better shot, or do they call 03 for the same reason? Do you think 01 is called most because it is first? I feel these are legitimate questions - when a proposal is on the ballot, more people will vote Yes than No, without fully understanding what they are voting for. This is why the wording is so important - also possibly the reason why gay marriage was defeated in California. If someone has an answer about the 01, 03, and 05 question, let me know! Until next season- Chockley out!

Friday, May 15, 2009

The Anniversary Song

DSC_0744 by Cheep.

Have you ever seen a sight as beautiful
as that of the rain-soaked purple
of the white birch in spring?

Have you ever felt more fresh or wonderful
than on a warm fall night
under a Mackerel sky,
the smell of grapes on the wind?

Well I have known all these things
and the joys that they can bring
And I'll share them all for a cup of coffee
and to wear your ring

Have you ever had the pleasure of watching
a quiet winter's snow slowly gathering
like simple moments adding up?

Have you ever satisfied a gut feeling
to follow a dry dirt road that's beckoning you
to the heart of a shimmering summer's day?

Well I have known all these things
and the joys that they can bring
And I'll share them all for a cup of coffee
and to wear your ring

And I don't know how I survived those days
before I held your hand
Well I never thought that I would be the one
to admit that the moon and the sun
shine so much more brighter when
seen through two pairs of eyes than
when seen through just one

Have you ever seen a sight as beautiful
as a face in a crowd of people
that lights up just for you?

Have you ever felt more fresh or wonderful
as when you wake
by the side of that boy or girl
who has pledged their love to you?

Well I have known all these things
and the joys that they can bring
And now every morning there's a cup of coffee
and I wear your ring

- The Anniversary Song

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

More Judges than Contestants

AI is a sausage fest! Carrie is all, has it ever been three guys before?

Gokey- Wow- TTdH? (Terrance Trent d'Harby?) Nice song choice, Paula! I love this. I would if I knew the song - Paula just picks something that was out when she was still relevant as an artist. I think Gokey did a great job with this song. He knows that dancing and moving on stage isn't his strength, but I worry that he is hiding behind the mic. OK, here he comes. Not too much- it's okay and he sounds great. The judges are horrible. Kara actually criticizes the dancing. She is the judge who is scared the most that Adam won't win. Be objective dude! This is a singing competition! Why are the girls focusing on that? Hey, know who else was horribly awkward on stage? Carrie Underwear. And now she's one of the two or three biggest selling Idol alums ever. Ha! Simon agrees with me that this isn't a dancing competition. Then he takes a shot at SYTYCD. That was weird. And then he and Paula embarrass us all. I am already embarrassed.

Kris- He is so cute I can hardly stand it. This song is not one of my faves, but inexplicably I know it really well. Even Connor says, We know this one! My thoughts on the song can be found in what I said to Carrie - "Hey, I am going to go poop while this is on, but I am going to let it keep playing. Don't pause it." Chip is worried about the falsetto. And Kris just does it the first time around, avoiding it artfully the rest of the time. This is really good, really solid. But most importantly, this sounds like something on the radio today. I actually agree with Randy, which is weird. This is the most contemporary, relevant performance we'll probably get tonight. Chip thinks Kris has a great career ahead of him, and I agree. I find it funny that Kara and Randy are grouped together for this one, and Simon is obviously choosing for the front runner - shows the judges' hierarchy somewhat. Kara is on crack. She is PARANOID that Adam won't win. She will love his next song, regardless of how bad it is. Paula complements Kara with the exact compliment Kara gave her regarding Gokey's song (something about staying in the tone that is best for him). Very original, Paula. She is crazy too. A bad note? I didn't hear it. Simon's t-shirt is covered with Paula's makeup. Klassy. Simon actually calls out Kara, which makes me very happy. Because yeah, don't pick a song for him and criticize him for singing the song. Seriously, what is with the judges tonight? They are horrible. I wanted to like Kara, but she has got to go. This whole dynamic is screwy and they are doing all this mugging for the camera then saying we don't have time for nine songs like we usually do when it's top 3 week. Weak!

Adam- Gag. (I think he has mastered that reflex.) This is horrible-sorry. I mean, each week I give him a chance, then he shrieks that horrible note, flings that tongue around, and generally sounds like Cher doing a cover of a U2 song, and I just can't like him. Carrie - "he sounds like a crying baby." I actually pause it where he has his tongue out - seriously, right now, put your tongue out past your lower lip and try to sing a note. It doesn't help or change anything! It is just creepy! Why are the judges so gaga over him? Kara likes it - wow! No real commentary from her, just some fellation. I'd expect that kind of poor taste out of the American masses, but not Simon- he usually hates this theatrical Broadway crap. Ugh! I hate that he's going to win. BTW - Michigan does NOT love Adam, contrary to that sign.

Carrie Underwear! I just mentioned her! Oh yeah, they totally didn't do the Idol Gives Back this season. Probably with the 4th judge and all or something.

Gokey- Eh. This is okay. His voice is great, but this is putting me to sleep. I thought it was meh, but the judges liked it. I checked my fantasy team while he was on - what is with Jake Peavy this year? I think I might try to trade him.

Kris - Love him! This is AMAZING. Yeah, he takes a terrible song and completely re-does it into something almost palatable. He is the one I want to win, since the best voice in this singing competition left us last week. And Kara, this is why he didn't do this the first time! Duh! He would have been in trouble if he'd done that twice. Chip is blown away. Kris is by far his favorite of this group- I agree, of course. His voice was just flawless. Love him. OK Kara, shut up. He should not have done that both times! So I just tried to vote, and the lines are temporarily busy. Are that many people voting, or are they having problems? I will vote for Kris before this night is over.

Adam- Sigh. Did Ryan just mention Cher? Ha! OK, the "classic" Aerosmith song, Cryin. This is one of their earlier songs, unlike Dream On, which only came out recently. Didn't I make fun of Kara last week for referring to this song in a similarly anachronistic fashion? The back up singer is working for her paycheck tonight- go on girl! This could almost be good, until he starts with the really high notes, which suck. OK, here's the thing. In past seasons, Adam would have really blown away the competition for me. I mean, he is obviously better than Hicks and McFee, Diana Digarmo, etc. However, this season all of the top three are exceptional singers. It's not like the others are duds and he is blowing past them or anything. I can honestly say that of the last three performers, I enjoyed his songs and his voice the least. He's not a bad singer, he is just grating. The other guys have voices that are smoother, and I just prefer their voices. My two cents - I am past the point where I even care. I can't imagine liking Lambert comparative to any other singer I have ever heard. I even prefer this guy. But then again, there is a lot of baggage that goes with each contestant from each season, so I can't say for sure either way. In fact, at the time I think we rooted for Taylor Hicks, but that was before the novelty of voting for the worst wore off. I just feel this year like I don't get the joke. OK, then the judges are like, Please vote for Adam! We like him best! Seriously, I had to go back to read Steph's email to see which one of us wrote that. Simon flat out says, please don't assume that he will be voted in, please vote for him. Whatever- I don't like that.

I guess I'm going to have to text my vote, because I can't get through on my land line and that sucks. And I am going to go watch the Ducks force a game 7. Dammit. Chockley out!

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Four Crying Out Loud

So close to the end! Wow, everything is all jacked up tonight in the Idol studio!

Slash! He's no Buckethead.

Adam- that was yuck. I mean, if you like Adam you will like this. Also, if you like Adam, please try to explain it to me. Randy said it was rock and not Broadway. I disagree. I think it sounded very Broadway, very put on. He was trying way too hard. Kara - way to prove that you shouldn't be kicked off the show - that added nothing. And I don't like Adam's voice. At this point, I feel like it is 2004, Adam is Bush, and the voting public is still very wrong. I must say, this was one of the few times I just fast forwarded through Adam - his act is just boring now.

Allison Hirohito - Ugh, Janis Joplin. Her songs don't have melodies! She sure belted it out, though! Yeah, probably a good choice, but a bad one at the same time. I thought that was fine, but I'm now worried she won't make it until next week. Dude- she is totally about to cry here at the end while talking to Simon. I might throw her a sympathy vote just for that! Bless her heart. He was actually right though - he liked her better than the other judges, who just seem paranoid at this point that someone other than Adam will win. But yes, she should have sung something else. Also, she looked adorable with her pigtails, but tonight she looks like an old lady, even with the pink hair. It's weird.

Kris/Gokey - Our first duet- woo hoo! I like this duets thing - good idea. Plus, I am dorky enough to think when Ryan said there would be 6 songs at the beginning of the show, that every possible pairing of these 4 makes 6 songs, but it didn't work that way. I'm glad they didn't split this pair up- I'm afraid Allison and Lambert would have overpowered these two. Plus now Lambert and Allison can do this song. (Dude - Allison should have done Kiss Me Deadly!) Oooh, Renegade! Is this one of the Styx songs that just became available on RB2? I hope so! I hate to say it - I didn't know this was Styx. I do hate this song. I hate to say this, but I think Kris just got his ass handed to him by Gokey. Although I think they were both pitchy in spots, and that is the first time either of them has ever missed a note this whole season. I thought it was a close call, but I wish they would have done a better duet. (Dude - Gokey and Lambert could have done the whole I'm Growin' Hungry song, and Gokey could have done the Vedder and Lambert could have done the Cornell! That would have worked, even though the guy from Mother Love Bone would have rolled in his grave.)

Kris - And we come right back to Kris. He sure is cute. I hope he does something here. Otherwise I just don't even care who makes it until next week. OK, this is good. I like it. OK - Come Together - it is the Beatles. It is a classic. It is just, if I had to list my favorite Beatles songs in order, this probably wouldn't make the top 250. I think Simon is being too harsh! Dude - Simon gave maybe the best analogy that has ever happened - he says it is like eating ice for lunch! I'm gonna steal that.

Gokey - Tears in Heaven? Yesterday? I Miss You (Blink 182)? Oh, Dream On. I hope Gokey can pull this off. I need something cool to happen tonight. Plus I'm learning to like him. Hearing this on AI just makes me nervous. can he do it? I guess so. Yeah, I mean, I guess. I dunno. I'm sorry, did Kara just refer to Crying and Crazy as "early" Aerosmith? FAIL.

Lambert/Allison - OK, I have high hopes for this duet. It's good. I've heard better, though. I don't know what it is tonight- this show is just not awesome. Maybe my extensive RB2 playing has me biased. Chloe thinks maybe Carry On Wayward Son is what she would have sung tonight. I was think Heartbreaker by Pat Benetar. Or, that would have been good for Allison. I would have done something from Disturbed probably. Let me say - "Rock" week - it is just so broad, so many to choose from. I don't agree with the picks tonight at all - too easy, or too boring. Too much 70s rock - all those 70s rock songs have been overplayed and are just not exciting or interesting anymore. Slow Ride just isn't gonna be something that anyone is excited to hear. Pick something and make it special, don't just sing some crap. Gokey was terrible, but at least I remember him trying for that note at the end.

Only one more week. I hope I can stay awake that long. I'm ready to put this season behind us!

PS - the Wings just TOTALLY got screwed. Why did the ref blow the whistle? The puck was just sitting there uncovered in the crease! We got hosed. By a hoser. Sweet Jesus I hate Chris Pronger and the Ducks.