Monday, December 17, 2007

My first blog list

I wanted to make a list of my favorite versions of Christmas songs, since I hear them all the time on at least 3 different stations. I am going to make it top 20 - that's right, I wanted to make up for not posting for a week. So, I will probably end up forgetting a couple, and feel free to call me on it. OK - correction - it is a top 21 because I did forget one and just changed it. Here goes:

Honorable Mentions - This is because there are several that aren't making the list a clean 25 because I don't hear them on the radio, or they aren't traditional, or what. First is Christmas in Hollis by Run DMC, a song I have not heard in 10 years. Next, Harry Connick's version of Winter Wonderland off the When Harry Met Sally CD. Also, The Christmas Song by Dave Matthews - this is a fantastic song, but I have never actually heard it on the radio. Any one of these 3 could be top 10, but they just don't count. (I also have this CD called Merry Axemas, which is all my favorite guitar players playing XMas songs - bad ass.) Also, I heard some version of Disturbed's Down With the Sickness today, only with the lyrics changed to Down With the Christmas, and it was stellar. Like, I called people after it was over.

21) Mariah Carey, All I Want For Christmas is You - on the list solely because it is her best song. How many artists can say that?...
20) Burl Ives, Holly Jolly Christmas - there you go. In fact, name anything else he did other than narrate Frosty.
19) Feliz Navidad, Jose Feliciano - Yeah, I can't explain it either. I know all the words at least.
18) Elton John, Step Into Christmas - Only on the list because I giggle like a schoolgirl when the laser noises happen. I love it.
17) O Holy Night, Home Alone Soundtrack - Best version of this song that is out there, especially since the only versions I ever hear are by douchebags such as CELINE DION and Josh Grobin. (God I hate that guy.) Both of them hold the note longer than they should at the end, and it makes the song about them instead of about Jesus or God or whatever. But, the version on Home Alone is a bunch of kids, and it is awesome. Not the only song from that soundtrack on this list.
16) The Carpenters, Merry Christmas Darling - I would say that it is because of their stunning use of correct grammar with "I wish I were with you", but really it is because I am inexplicably defensive about Karen Carpenter. Really - the jokes aren't funny, and you are just jealous of the most awesome voice ever. I get it - she was skinny. YOU WISH YOU COULD SING AS WELL AS SHE COULD!!! SHE HAD A DISEASE AND DIED, HA HA!! VERY FUNNY - NOW STFU AND GBTW!!
15) Andy Williams, Happy Holiday - OK, this song makes no sense, and the lyrics are goofy. Plus, does Santa actually come down the chimney down (sic) at exactly 12 o'clock? The reason it is here is because I have my own naughty lyrics I sing, plus you can actually here him smiling somewhere in Branson, MO, while he is singing. I mean, seriously - you can hear him smiling.
14) Stryper, Winter Wonderland - This song is just gold. Seriously - listen to it if you can, it is cheesy as hell and even has the guys talking to each other. "Oh Yes - that's the way I like it!" Yellow and Black attack! Their wikipedia page has a 4 paragraph section devoted to their "Decline". Seriously good stuff.
13) Aretha Franklin, Winter Wonderland - Second Winter Wonderland in a row here. We love it for the "groove by the fire" part, but mostly for that first "sleigh bells ring" part. Good stuff.
12) Dominick the Donkey - Just goofy and fun, we get a kick out of it every time. Someone should do a light show for it. (Oh - well, there you go.)
11) Last Christmas, Wham! - I know that everyone is doing this song now, so whatever. But it has already inspired me to post, so you know what I think. I just love that there is a gay Christmas song.
10) Wizard of Winter, TSO - Yeah, yeah, yeah, I am cheating here, as this isn't really traditional or anything, and is famous because of the synchronized light show. But, the song is awesome, and actually gets radio airplay, and I will stop talking to Carrie and turn it up when it comes on because it kicks ass. There, I said it.
9) The First Noel, Crash Test Dummies - This dude has like 7 testicles and hits these awesome low notes in some weird Canadian accent. Seriously - he is famous for humming in this Canadian accent. This song is the song that everyone stops to laugh at because it is a train wreck. Would be higher on the list if dude didn't take the middle verses off. Good times. (OMG - there is a video! And it is AWESOME! I want to hang out with these guys!!)
8) God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen, Bare Naked Ladies with Sarah McLachlan - The second straight Canadian entry and the reason this is a top 21 (I can't believe I forgot it!). It is good entertaining stuff, highlighted by the end with Sarah angrily singing "God rest ye merry gentlemen let nothing...", and it is over. Rumor is that there is another version, but truth be told I look forward to that part of the song.
7) Sleigh Ride, Johnny Mathis - Really, it is the song that let's us know that it is Christmas time. The best part is the "Yoo Hoo!", because he does it in some falsetto yell, then slowly transitions in the same syllable of "Hoo" back into his regular singing voice. Kills me. Also love the "of snow" part that he holds onto. Also, the giddyyyyyyup parts are awesome, then holding the note on "fairylannnnnnnnd". Just a larf to sing along with. (Is "larf" the word I want to use?) We enjoy it way more than we should.
6) That Spirit of Christmas, Ray Charles - Best known around these parts for Christmas Vacation, it is just very moving and all. Maybe the part of the movie that adds the most heart.

Time to stop before the top 5 to let you guys know that nothing from South Park is included. Every song on the Mr. Hankey album should be here, but it is too easy. Just to let you know, I didn't forget Mr Garrison's stirring Merry F***in' Christmas.

5) Carol of the Bells, Home Alone Soundtrack - My favorite Christmas Carol. Very Victorian England, Dickensian, chilling and haunting. Reminds me of the part of Christmas that needs to be in a minor key. I get chills on the word "Gaily", but not for the reasons you all are thinking. Of course, it is a joyful song, but it just seems eerie to me.
4) Harry Connick Jr.'s first Christmas album - Really, I should have made this a top 25 and put 4 songs on it, so let's just pretend - his Sleigh Ride kicks ass, When My Heart Finds Christmas is a song I will bust out when I am listening alone, It Must Have Been Old Santa Claus is a great time and makes me smile, especially when the guy says "one more 'gain" at the end and they don't do it, Let it Snow is the companion piece to Sleigh Ride for some reason, and Ave Maria (is that even a Christmas song?) is the most Latin I know and is very well done. I could have put those on here separately, but I can't choose. They are all great.
3) Do They Know It's Christmas, Band Aid - love to bust out the Bono part. The lyrics are a disaster, but I listen to this song every time. You can clearly make out Bananarama's part. Seriously though, the lyrics inspire a discussion every time - is it advocating Christianity in Africa? Should it snow in December in the Southern hemisphere?
2) The Christmas Song, Nat King Cole - should be number 1. Excludes Christmas wishes for all newborns and anyone ages 93 and older. But, just a perfect song for the season, and really the song I would most want to hear every Christmas for the rest of my life. Or at least until Christmas 2069, when it no longer applies to me.

After that glowing review, what is number 1? If you don't know, then we have never met.

1) Christmas Eve/Sarajevo, TSO - just the most awesome thing ever. Really, the kickassitude is unparalleled - I generally shy away from such heavy use of keyboards in a metal song, but whatever. It combines everything that is awesome about music - minor keys, power chords, fast guitars, strings, bravado - makes you say "all right!" when it is over. Well, it makes my mom say that. But, I just fell in love with it the first time I heard it, so I went and found the CD and let Mom listen to it, so every year we let the other know the first time we listen to the song around Christmas time. It marks the official beginning of the holiday season for both of us, and is something we share. It is like, some things you remember because of how awesome they are when you experience them for the first time, and you immediately want to share them with the ones you love the most, and that is what this song is for me. It is just a degree of awesome that is rarely attained in this world.

There it is. I could have done this better, but I just wanted to post. Please let me know what I forgot. However, for all you fans of terrible songs about shoes, I will soon post about the worst Christmas songs ever. If you need me, I will be watching the rest of the videos by the Crash Test Dummies.

2 comments:

Stephanie said...

Mr. Hankey rules, top to bottom. I am deeply disturbed that you have been gone from the south long enough to omit any Elvis references, though.

21. Don't discount Mariah's first album!
20. We have that whole CD- it's so old-fashioned! Connor hates how he says "he's a-makin a list he's a-checkin it twice"
12. I forgot how much Connor and I love that song. Thanks for reminding me!
9. Brandon totally loves Crash Test Dummies and was always trying to get us to borrow their CDs from him. Ha!
8. The recorded that backstage at some Canadian concert, and you can really tell she thinks they are going to fade out on the line before, but they don't, so she just belts out the next line and then they really do end it right in the middle of her line. Classic. I love the whole Barenaked for the Holidays CD, btw.
6. Wow- I don't like that song, and that's my least favorite part of the movie.
3. Now that we're adults we try to act all haughty and PC about how bad that song is lyrically, and it is, but in 1984 I sure didn't give a crap. I was 11! I was worried about whether my hair was big enough, not about whether or not my AquaNet was destroying the ozone layer, ya know? So let's all take a deep breath and continue enjoying this classic song free of guilt.

But really, the most important part of this for me was the fact that it reads so much like how my own list would read. I got in the car this morning after reading this and popped in my Christmas mix tape (CD- just doesn't have the same ring to it though), the one that starts with Crash Test Dummies' First Noel, then next is O Holy Night from the Home Alone soundtrack, then I have Harry's Sleigh Ride, even though I have that whole CD. Then I got to the Home Alone Carol of the Bells, and got a little choked up when they got to "Gaily they ring" because of your post, then the next song is Stryper and I cracked up way more than normal, and Connor was like, Mom, WTF? and I said, Oh, I just feel like Uncle Shannon is in the car with us right now. Then that was follwed by Christmas Eve Sarajevo, so when that was done I said, Alright! just like Mom would, and Connor said, That song was rockin' out. It's really his highest form of praise.

So anyway, Merry Christmas! I love you.

Stephanie said...

I forgot to mention that I'm always struck by the irony that Stryper, a Christian rock band, chose a secular carol to do for their Christmas song.